NASA Sends Rover To Search For Intelligent Life On ‘The View’

The Bee ^ | April 9, 2024 | Staff

[Navy Patriot]

NEW YORK, NY — According to sources, NASA has sent a brand new rover to search for any signs of intelligent life on The View.

NASA scientists, who launched the mission in an attempt to answer the age-old question of whether or not intelligent life existed on the set of the popular daytime talk show, remained skeptical that any evidence would be found.

"From what we've seen so far, it doesn't look good," said Dr. Edgar Barnhouse, who led the research team. "Rumors have always existed that there may be intelligent life on The View, but until now, we've never encountered any concrete proof. This mission was intended to answer the question once and for all."

"So far, our sensors have detected nothing."

Viewers were eager to learn the results of the rover expedition. "I've always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist," said Janelle Parker, who has watched the show since its inception. "For years, I've pondered the existence of intelligent life on The View, but everyone thought I was crazy. Chances may be slim, but I'm holding out hope that they can find proof."

Early reports indicated that the rover had yet to encounter any sentient creatures. "Nothing of note has been revealed," Barhnhouse said. "Just a pile of organic goo called a ‘Whoopi Goldberg' and some old fossilized remains that have been identified as once being Joy Behar. But nothing intelligent."

At publishing time, NASA said the mission would also explore the studio to learn whether or not it truly was once inhabited by the enormous, vicious beast known as Rosie O'Donnell.

[Navy Patriot]

NASA will find only empty space.

[Yo-Yo]

And sadly, none was found.

[rktman]

Another waste of our tax dollars.

[spel_grammer_an_punct_polise]

The Bee always makes me laugh! ;-)

Thank you for posting this, fellow, “Navy Patriot”! ;-)

[z3n]

Strangely, the rover did find some artifacts on the view;

[butlerweave]

I bet the Rover’s mic will pick up the wind that whistlers through their heads

[rdl6989]

Another waste of our tax dollars.

Gmta

[RatRipper]

Money up a wild hog’s a$$

[Allegra]

This is all they’ve found so far.

[sjmjax]

The Bee is a national treasure.

Perhaps they should start making feature films. Hollywood hasn’t produced anything that matches the Bees cleverness or originality in decades.

[NWFree]

Another waste of time and taxpayer money

[GOP Poet]

Yep. There is none on The View.

[daniel1212]

Earned satire. In other news, after researchers discovered a "conservative gene," leading Democrats announced a radical shift in their position on abortion.

The discovery found that what was described as a "blue gene" was often found in Trump and GOP voters. As a result, Democrat law-makers intend to consider a bill which would make it only illegal to terminate the "product of conception" which do not possess this gene.

Testing was also planned for immigrants, with denial of those being linked to the results. Fast tracking of euthanasia for "blue gened" persons based upon as little as complaints about Congress is also being considered.