Time for beaver hats to become popular again.
Posted on 06/19/2018 12:14:58 PM PDT by Red Badger
It’s nature...................
Time for beaver hats to become popular again.
A beaver stole all my guns...................
I planted 54 aspen trees one day - they were 18” whips.
I fenced 49 of them before the sun went down...
Deer consumed the other seven overnight,
The next spring the trees came up and I transplanted them and they are over 40’ now.
Classic.
“A beaver stole all my guns...................”
me too - even the “plastic” ones...weird.
Dirtiest line on network TV that made it past the censors:
“Ward, you were a little rough on the beaver last night”
I can envision a room of TV writers, betting the network would never allow that line to go on the air. The guy who wrote that line—and probably bet against his colleagues—probably picked up some nice pocket change that day.
They even stole the ones I ain’t bought yet!................
LOL
We used to live in a suburban area that still had enough cover for the occasional deer. No hunting pressure to speak of so there actually were some pretty fine bucks around. You would see them at night fairly regularly.
The people across the street planted what had to be $5K worth of small trees and flowers etc in their front yard. Made a real big deal of it.
I remember looking at the hostas and some very fine roses, and thinking, hmmmmm.
Two nights later it was all gone. Not just some of it. ALL OF IT.
I have a colorful past, but even I had to blush at the language that the woman used when she found out.
For my part I limited our plantings to hollies and junipers. If they want to eat that, whatever.
Now I live in the country. Pretty much everything you put out thats not behind some fencing is deer food.
There are angry beaver vids on youtube where a thoroughly P.O.’d beaver doesn’t NEED a gun to inflict grievous harm on a human.
A couple live trapped a beaver to move it away from their property. When he released it, the beaver was bent on revenge, not escape, and he spent many minutes fending it off with the cage to keep from getting slashed to ribbons by those fearsome teeth. Finally it hit the water & left. Me, I’d just shoot it & process it as noted.
“They ain’t house pets.”
I prefer that excuse to the cliché “Tragic Boating Accident”.
“Beavers do dam good work cleaning water, research reveals”
sure ... if you don’t mind the surrounding land being denuded of all live trees as the beavers kill the trees by girdling them to get bark for their meals ...
Yep, and they make pretty good BBQ meat too.
I once saw a tree downed by a beaver. I was astonished at how large the chips were. Beaver jaw muscles are powerful.
“Uhhh, beavers are responsible for FLOODING farm land. I know. My dad would blow the damns up with dynomite.”
That is because your father didn’t know shit. If it wasn’t for beavers there would be far less farmland in the US than there is.
Let me guess, the stream cutting through your dad’s land has probably cut deeper into your fields over the decades, am I right or wrong?
What, it took til post 9!? Where’s the shaving cartoon?
David L. Price
District Representative
Land and Water Management Division
Grand Rapids District Office
State Office Bldg., 6th Floor
350 Ottawa, N.W.
Grand Rapids, MI 49503-2341
Dear Mr. Price:
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N, R10W, Sec 20; Montcalm County
Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to. You sent out a great deal of carbon copies to a lot of people, but you neglected to include their addresses. You will, therefore, have to send them a copy of my response.
First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan - I am the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood “debris” dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, nor authorize their dam project, I think they would be highly offended you call their skillful use of natural building materials “debris”. I would like to challenge you to attempt to emulate their dam project any dam time and/or any dam place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no dam way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
As to your dam request the beavers first must fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity, my first dam question to you is: are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or do you require all dam beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, please send me completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated. My first concern is - aren’t the dam beavers entitled to dam legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said dam representation - so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.
The Department’s dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing dam flooding is proof we should leave the dam Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the dam stream “restored” to a dam free-flow condition - contact the dam beavers - but if you are going to arrest them (they obviously did not pay any dam attention to your dam letter — being unable to read English) - be sure you read them their dam Miranda first. As for me, I am not going to cause more dam flooding or dam debris jams by interfering with these dam builders. If you want to hurt these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam Department seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their existence in this dam State - I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam policy - or once again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers will scream prejudice!
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their dam unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I to live and enjoy Spring Pond. So, as far as I and the beavers are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more dam elevated enforcement action now. Why wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then, and there will be no dam way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality (health) problem; bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the dam beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!)
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.
Sincerely,
Stephen L.Tvedten
xc: PETA
You don’t know sh*t about our farm or my family. Screw you.....and the horse you rode in on.
My bet is you are all for protecting rattlesnakes as well.
Also, my father knew more about wildlife CONSERVATION than you would ever know in your pathetic lifetime.
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