It's NOT vain or superficial to mourn the loss of your power to turn heads: Midlife [tr]

UK Daily Mail ^ | March 26, 2018 | Annabel Cole

[C19fan]

My mother and I were in WHSmith in Guildford on a Saturday afternoon when I first became aware of the power of good looks. We'd spent a very happy afternoon shopping when she remarked: 'You do know men are beginning to notice you, don't you?'

Then 15, I was a fairly unsophisticated schoolgirl for whom the purchase of a new pencil case held far more allure than the prospect of male attention. But I had noticed it, too. And, yes, there was a frisson of excitement at the prospect of this new phase of my life.

For my mother, a very good-looking woman whose background was in fashion, it must have been a significant moment, too. She made the comment kindly, without a hint of jealousy or disapproval. But now, as a mother of two teenage daughters, I find myself in her shoes and know that a keen sense of loss is ignited as you pass on the beauty baton.

[Albion Wilde]

bump

[Enchante]

AH, thank you, well I am more of a philosopher than a hedonist, ha ha. Although I wouldn’t mind having known a bit more hedonism in my time.....

[ViLaLuz]

I still turn heads at 58, although they’re crowned with white hair these days. Men never stop flirting no matter how old. They also give me their phone numbers. I guess to them I’m considered a young catch. A few months ago I had a Battle of the Bulge vet invite me out to his camp.

[mdmathis6]

The transparency I see in your posting gets you an appreciative wolf whistle from me...a greying 50 “something something”!

[Teacher317]

"It's NOT vain or superficial to mourn the loss of your power to turn heads"

Actually, it is the epitome of "vain and superficial" to care about such things.

Ah, but you misunderstand the Progressive American Culture. What is important is that she does not wish to feel bad about being vain and superficial, and thus she is declaring single-handedly (and, oh, so bravely! *applause!*) that it is no longer something to be labeled as "bad", thus freeing women everywhere from the shackles of bad-feels. (*applause!*) She's a pioneer and a hero. (*doubleplus good applause!*)

/ LibSpeak>

Only feelings matter. Logic, reason, words, common sense, history, justice, egalitarianism... these are trifles. Only Virtue Signals are worthy of their attentions.

[vladimir998]

“Caring about how you look and present yourself to the world is not vain, but simply self-pride. I see no problem with that.”

I agree with you, but this article is a bout a woman wanting to be noticed, a “head turner”, an object of desire. That’s about vanity.

[Alas Babylon!]

Billions of years of life has had one directive—To be fruitful and multiply. From a religious standpoint, it is also a commandment of God.

Having offspring is inherent in our very being.

In the human species, being attractive to the opposite sex is an important factor in successfully having offspring.

More importantly is the fact that humans are also inherently social animals. One of the amazing reasons we evolved such big brains was to understand a million degrees of subtlety in human-to-human relations, communications (real language) and sort out individual and group emotions.

Being better at understanding these subtleties could also lead to a more successful group that generated more descendants with this same traits and even further developments.

So certainly, from the brain’s perspective, losing one’s attractiveness has a profound effect on producing offspring and social status.

Then again, going with this same idea, 10s of 1,000s of years of human evolution gave us the idea of the ELDER, who often was the key to one group of humans surviving over the other, especially during tough times. So it is a norm in human cultures to have great respect for the older people of the group.

So one can go from hot babe to wise old Grandma, and derive deep self worth in doing so.

The same factors apply to men. All of them.

We’re only human.

[MayflowerMadam]

It isn’t vain; it’s a fact of life. Sad when it happens and a hard pill to swallow, but there’s not much you can do about it.

[Teacher317]

The most beautiful woman I have ever met in my entire life

It is sad, the way that women obsess over every imperfection and hold themselves to impossible standards, guaranteeing disappointment in themselves for the majority of their lifetimes.

And it is the simply beautiful women who sincerely have no clue how beautiful they are that rocket themselves into the stratosphere of amazingly beautiful. 99% of the time, they are even more beautiful on the inside. (The insecure who need constant validation of their beauty... not quite the same thing.)

Ladies, for men to be interested in you, they really only need 3 aspects to be able to relish and adore. Just 3. Trust me on this. When you look in the mirror and overlook your 27 positive attributes to obsess over the 3 imperfections, you do yourself a disservice.

[Pearls Before Swine]

I’m a guy... and it’s starting to bug me that, at about 70, people are doing the “age before beauty” routine at doors, when it isn’t at all necessary.

[Bigg Red]

:)

[colorcountry]

I have a different take on aging. It is very freeing to me. No longer do I need to dress for attention, I dress for function and comfort.

No longer must I have perfectly coiffed hair, but my hair is glorious. It is silver, it is curly, it is carefree, and it is what God gave me. I am overweight, healthy, active and strong.

I no longer crave sex nor sexual attention. A hug or a handshake are human touch enough for me. I feel as free as I did when I was 10 years old - before I knew myself as a sexual being. I can bask in warm sunshine, sit or ride a swing underneath a shade tree. I can take a luxurious bath, eat good food, sleep well, walk in nature, have a deep and meaningful conversation without sexual tension. There is not a thought nor feeling that hormones drove in my life for oer 40 years about the reproductive act - and it is wonderful!

[ronniesgal]

this cartoon is dead on. I only see the flaws. any compliments that come my way are met with “that’s not true”

[Nailbiter]

I opened a door for young lady and child- I was mistaken for the childs GF, although I was flattered, I was flummoxed by the reaction of those around me.

I smiled and made no comment, my ancestors are watching over my shoulder always.

I would never disgrace my ancestors or myself

[A_perfect_lady]

My favorite joke is that I used to wish I could turn invisible. Now, at 52, I am.

[exit82]

As a guy, I actually enjoyed this article, and the insights into aging from a woman’s perspective.

When she told her daughter she looked great, but to use her power wisely, I thought that to be good advice.

We all go through seasons in life, and a woman’s “Spring” is a joy to behold.

At 64, my body is starting to undergo changes that are unwelcome, but merely reflective of my age.

I’m a little wistful about it, but not mad, as many don’t get the privilege.

[Right Wing Assault]

Isn't a man who turns his head to look at a woman committing a micro-aggression? Or even Mega-? And you want men to do that? Tsk, tsk! What will the pussy-hat people say?

[A_perfect_lady]

I am a woman, and I believe that for most women physical attractiveness partly defines our self-image.

Yes, because it strongly influences how people treat you, men in particular. Men call us vain, but they don't treat plain women with the same courtesy and smiling attention that they treat pretty women. And in day to day life, it makes a difference. It can mean the difference in what kind of service you get at stores and offices, whether you get help when you need it on the street, whether your questions are answered promptly in nearly any venue... men literally stop making eye contact when a woman loses her attractiveness.

[laker_dad]

I’m a 62 year old guy and can still turn heads. I think it’s called “crop dusting”...

[S.O.S121.500]

Dear g_d, I do so sincerely thank you for the gift of women, and I ferventy wish you had given them the least bit of integrity and honesty, that men would not have to lie to themselves just to associate with them in order to fulfill your wishes.