Posted on 10/17/2017 12:18:35 PM PDT by TangledUpInBlue
“The Newlywed Game was the camels nose in the door.”
Disagree. “making whoopie” is a healthy pastime - for NEWLYWEDS especially. Just ask Solomon...
Pretty sure you're supposed to move around a bit. Try that.
Increase intensity until injured, then report back.
OK, I give up. What?
Two large bulls and a small bull watched a huge bull being unloaded off a trailer. One big bull said “I’m going to mosey down there and give him half of my herd.”
The other big bull said “I’m going to do that, too.”
The little bull started snorting and pawing the ground. The big bulls asked him “What the heck are you doing?”
The little bull said “I want to make sure he knows I’m a bull.”
The last I heard, the Sexual Olympics were held in Las Vegas. Among the events were the broad jump, the pole vault and the 20 minute freestyle.
I do love the warming up . . .
What can a bird do that a man can’t, besides fly?
Before Occupy Wall Street and AntiFirstAmendment, I would have answered "crap on your car"...
Oh, I see that the article was about barnyard mishaps. I was talking about human cases of fractured penis.
I thought it was Arnold Palmer’s wife on Johnny Carson. She said something like,”I wouldn’t let him go out on the course without cleaning his balls,” and Carson replied, “I bet that makes his putter stand up!”
Actually, it was “kissing his balls.”
My acquaintance grabbed the first thing he could find, a rag covered with motor oil, which he pulled out of the trunk, and covered his bleeding -- (AHEM! COUGH! COUGH!) -- member. He drove off to the nearest hospital.
The emergency room nurses had to leave the room and cover their mouths because they were laughing so hard. The verdict was that he would have to be circumcised. As he was a minor, that would require permission from his parents.
When his parents arrived, his mother had a fit. "You should be treating all women as though they were the Virgin Mary. It serves you right!" she screamed. His father was laughing so hard that he had to leave the room.
They put him under and circumcised him, leaving his stitches in place.
When he awoke, he discovered that the candy striper who was attending him was the cutest girl in the hospital. They said his screams could be heard all over the floor.
Actually....that one never happened. The Newlywed Game story is true, but the kissing his balls story is an urban legend (and it predates Johnny Carson’s show).
OMG>>> my boss just stuck his head in the door to see if I was OK.
Interesting. Predated how far? Radio?
The Dating Game classic was the bachorlet as one of the guys:
“If I were a trumpet and I blew you what sound would you make?”
His answer was “ I probably couldn’t talk!”
Birds eat with there P—k-r!
Buda Bing!
Don’t forget to tip the waitress.
exactly.
Hier ist Ihre Pipiflaesche, Herr Freeper. Wollen Sie ein bisschen Hilfe?
Watched a show on cable called, “Sex sent me to the ER”, or something like that. Seemed like a lot of guys put Mr. Happy into things it shouldn’t go into.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.