Posted on 09/03/2017 5:56:09 AM PDT by sodpoodle
An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr.Geezer's clinic.
Dr. Young: "Dr.Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?" Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: Aaagh! -- "This is Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back.That will be $500."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back.
That will be $500."
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!"
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, " Here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)
Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500." Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"
Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.
That was funny. I like that!
LOLOL!!!
An elderly widow and widower were discussing the possibility of marriage:
Widow: What about sex?
Widower: Infrequently.
Widow: Is that one word or two?
*bellylaugh*
:-)
Elderly couple sitting on the porch rocking...
The lady gets up, walks over to her husband and slaps him...
She walks back and sits....
He rubs his cheek and asks what that was for???
She says, “For having such a little weiner all these years.”
He sits there, then gets up and knocks her clean off the porch....
She crawls back up the steps to her rocker and sits down...
“What was that for?” she asks...
he says, “For knowing the difference!!!”
I just turned 65, my wife told me I needed to get something for my E.D., so I did...her name is Janice shes 27
Thanks for posting a laugh, from another senior..
So Abie and Sarah always sat in the evenings on the front porch of their senior residence, married 65 years, she’d sit there holding his schmeckel in her hand. Went on for years,
One evening Abie didn’t show. The next, same thing. After a few evenings without him, Sarah went a looking. She found him out on the back porch with another elderly woman holding his schmeckel. “Abie!” she shouted. “What are you doing? What has she got that I ain’t got?!”
Abie looked up at his angry wife. “Parkinson’s.”
80 year old wife, feeling amorous, looking down at her 80 year old husband from the second floor - yells....”you big stud, climb up these stairs and make love to me”.
He yells back “ I can do one, or the other....”
That’s awesome.
Consider it stolen.
Thanks for the laughs.
If you can add a Jewish/NY accent, especially at the end, so much the better... try and say the Last word with one of those Jewish statements as a question like Mandy Patinkin! ;)
I asked my 90 year old dad if he and mom still did “it”.
There was a pause and he said “We tried a couple years ago. It was horrible. It was like trying to stuff a raw oyster into a piggy bank”
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