Posted on 05/12/2017 7:38:37 PM PDT by BJ1
Society places such high importance on getting married that it’s easy to feel almost like a failure if you never manage to find a man to settle down with. While it’s fantastic if you do eventually find a guy you’d like to marry, it’s really no big deal if you never end up getting hitched as long as you have these things:
1. A solid group of friends It doesn’t matter whether your social circle is big or small — what DOES matter is the quality of the people in it. Even the most independent people need at least one or two friends they know they can count on during both the good times and the bad. If you’re surrounded by awesome people, your marital status will be virtually irrelevant.
2. A career you love Life is too short to spend hours and hours of every day being miserable. Money is important, sure, but if you hate everything about your job, you’re not going to feel fulfilled. As long as you have a job that makes you look forward to coming to work for some reason — whether it’s your clients, your coworkers, the work itself, or all of the above — you’re not going to need a husband to make your life feel worthwhile.
3. Hobbies you’re passionate about Even if you love everything about your job, make sure you’re also doing something else purely for the joy of it. Everyone needs a break from life sometimes, and having some kind of a hobby, such as kickboxing or crafting, can really add sparkle to your daily routine and keep your brain feeling happy. Having things you enjoy doing is far more important than whether or not you ever walk down the aisle.
4. Self-reliance Lots of things are way easier when you have someone else around, but there’s nothing quite as empowering as knowing you can make it on your own. Self-reliance is learned over time, but once you have it down, you’ll never be able to go back to depending on another person. Whether or not you end up in a relationship again, your ability to stand on your own two feet will serve you well for the rest of your life.
5. Economic independence Being able to split bills is awesome no matter how filthy rich you are. However, there’s a strong sense of satisfaction that comes with knowing that you can pay for everything you do and own without anyone else’s assistance. Being able to rely on your own income to survive is a crucial life skill, and if you can get that down, it won’t even be an issue if your hypothetical husband doesn’t contribute enough to the bills.
6. A strong sense of self-worth When you know exactly what you deserve, you’re never going to have to settle for anything. It takes a lot of time and effort to realize just how much you should value yourself, but if you don’t try to get there, you’re going to wake up one day and realize you’ve wasted a lot of time and energy on the wrong people and things. Gaining a sense of self-worth will ensure that in both life and love, you’re getting exactly what you should be.
7. Something that motivates you Having something that pushes you to keep striving for more is crucial if you want to live your best life. If you can figure out an area you’d like to improve in, whether it’s at work, the gym, or in your social life, dig deep and figure out WHY you want to get better, and never let that thought escape. Motivation can be tough to find, but getting a hold of it will keep you moving forward so you don’t get stuck in the same place.
8. A manageable self-care routine You don’t have to be a gym rat or live off of green smoothies in order to take care of yourself. You only get one body, though, and you owe it to yourself to not only create a lifestyle that helps it function at its best, but also one that you can maintain. If you can keep up the health junkie lifestyle every day of your life, awesome! But if you can only hit the gym twice a week and have a weakness for cheese curls, don’t beat yourself up over it. Just make sure you’re achieving both what makes you healthy and what makes you happy.
9. A sense of happiness that doesn’t depend on your relationship status Some of us love being in relationships, and some could live the single life forever. It’s one thing to acknowledge that the presence or absence of romance in your life makes you happier, but it becomes a problem when your entire emotional state depends on whether or not you have a partner. When you’re able to find a variety of internal and external sources of satisfaction, even something as major as being married will just add to that joy rather than creating all of it.
10. True love (for yourself) The last thing you want to do is get married just because you feel like you’re lacking love in your life. The truest kind of love that exists is the kind we should have for ourselves regardless of whether or not we’re getting it from someone else. If you can love yourself for who you are both inside and out, the love you’d get from a spouse would just be the cherry on top.
I was good until the last two. The last two are BS.
The surrounded by good family and friends one takes care of that kind of love. There is another kind of love that is the romantic sexual kind. Gd said it was essential for us. You can’t get that by yourself.
Last night I finally found out what the red pill thing is for men. It is so sad and depressing that A) women have driven men to choose this lifestyle and B) that men find “getting lots of young p” in their lives is important but a relationship with a woman near their age is not. Very very discouraging about male female relationships today. Thanks, lesbian feminists, for screwing it up for the rest of us. I want to be friends and lovers with a man, I don’t want to control, own, or rip him off.
I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do.
Just, what are women like me supposed to do, who want to hang with a good guy like you, and are good women too, as fair and independent as you are?? I have proven how fair I am to men. I hate the anti male culture.
2. A good dog. Just for the record.
But then, I married quite late in life and am happily so right now. And yes, we have a great dog.
As one who never married and has no kids, I missed out on so much. I often wonder what it felt like to “evolve” like normal people: marriage, kids, PTA, etc. etc. Being alone all the time isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, yet, I know no other way. Although, independent and grateful for all I have, sometimes one just wants to be taken care of at times.
lol - thats good to know. Thanks.
We should all know there are good women out there. Just as there are some good men and sadly some not so great men.
I don’t want to indict all women. Just as I don’t want to be lumped in with the men who mainly want to get a woman’s legs apart.
If you are looking for another human being to meet your needs, your marriage is going to be doomed, or very difficult right from the start.
Marriage isn’t about what the other person can give you, or what you can get out of them, or how they can meet your needs.
Unless it is God and other focused, it will be hell, because the focus is on the wrong person.
Marriage cannot survive when two people are looking out for their own best interests first and whining about how *unappreciated * they are cause their spouse isn’t meeting their expectations. (That the spouse may not even be aware the other person has about them)
If couples went into marriage in some sort of individual emotional health, and focused on SERVING each other, and being responsible with their own end of it, then there wouldn’t be the problems we see today.
And I don’t even think it’s a matter of stereotypical roles. Some men LOVE to cook. My son is one of them, and he does not see it as a *her job* *his job* kind of thing.
Whatever arrangement works best for the couple is what they should do. Just agree beforehand and then hold to your own end of the bargain.
IOW, be an adult.
Most problems I’ve seen in marriage are a result of people acting more like kids than adults and in very few cases, has it been entirely all one person’s fault.
Cats and chocolate. Confusing both with love.
What a cunning stunt...
Pursue these ten things as your top priorities over a good marriage, and I am sure you will fail to be happy in the end. None of these ten are bad innately, but as life goals and in the aggregate, they are the way to misery.
You do not want to date now.
They have good sex robots available now for the urges.
A perfect recipe for misery and loneliness in old age.
But hey; they can say they did it without a man.
Sad
Amen.
The red pill thing is, I think, a natural consequence of the feminist movement.
At some point push back was going to happen. It should have been easily predictable.
What I’ve seen and read on the subject is that it tends to go south really quickly into the same kind of bitter jaded attitude towards women that they are protesting women having against them.
It will devolve, just as the feminist movement has.
And there was someone a few months back who opened an account and came in very aggressively pushing the extreme view of this movement, to the point where he was advocating being abusive to women, claiming they loved it.
His posts and account have been removed from FR. The Viking Kitties made short work of him.
But that is where I see the Red Pill movement headed, just as feminism has.
Bored? You got stats on that?
You know why women get married? Because a vibrator won’t take out the trash
I bet the contents of her medicine cabinet are fascinating.
To late
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