h/t Dorothy
Quickies:
Q: Why did the stonecutter quit his job?
A: He felt like his boss was taking him for granite.
I once had a hula-hoop with a nail in it. My mom called it the navel destroyer.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road halfway and then stop?
A: He wanted to lay it on the line.
Q: How can you tell if a baker is lucky? A: He has a four loaf cleaver.
I try to avoid funerals as I'm not a mourning person.
Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van. But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping.
h/t JP
Truisms
Haters are like crickets, they make a lot of noise. You hear it but you can't see them, then right when you walk by them, they're quiet.
If you have to wake me up to ask me for something, the answer is automatically, 'NO'.
That awkward moment when you want to cough badly, but it's dead silent.
Butterflies? I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I see you.
I'm not staring at you. I'm day dreaming and you were in my way.
h/t Diana in Wisconsin
A perfect end to this contribution to Friday silliness:
