Posted on 12/06/2016 11:08:19 AM PST by conservative98
DEAR man on the street,
I’m writing to ask for your help.
As a female runner, I am constantly aware of my safety when I’m out on an evening run. What is behind me? Do I hear anything strange? Why is that man running towards me? What is making those bushes rustle?
And I am always home before dark.
Author Margaret Atwood said, “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.”
You may think that’s hyperbole, but I promise you, it’s not. Every woman I know has been in a situation at least once in their life when they thought their life was actually in danger.
Can you imagine that?
When we go out running, we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable situation. We’re out of our comfort zone, and often on our own.
While the stories of rape and murder are the ones that gain the most media attention, we’re aware that it’s unlikely to happen to us. Unlikely, but always possible.
What we’re more like to encounter, though, is sexual harassment: catcalls, leering, suggestive comments and gesticulations … the list goes on.
What that harassment does is remind us that we are forever vulnerable. That we can never feel truly safe.
A recent study conducted by Runner’s World found that a whopping 43 per cent of women sometimes experience harassment on the street when they run. That’s in contrast to the 4 per cent of men who experienced the same.
The problem with harassment is that it isn’t just lighthearted banter — and it’s certainly not a compliment. (Has a call of ‘nice tits’ ever been the start of a great love story?) Harassment is all about power, and letting us know we’re in that man’s space.
Why am I telling you this? Because as a man, you fall into one of two categories:
1. You’re a genuinely nice guy who needs to be more aware of this problem
2. You’re a man who makes women feel unsafe when she’s running in public (shame on you!).
Either way, the fact that women feel unsafe when they’re out running in public is directly attributable to men. Victorian teen Masa Vukotic was murdered while out on a regular evening walk. She was in a park, in daylight, only a 500 metres from her home when she was killed. Source: Facebook
So why are all the articles and safety tips aimed at women? Why are we gathering safety groups to run with, running with personal alarms, and cutting our runs short so we’re not out after dark?
Why aren’t we asking men to fix what they broke?
I know, I know it’s #notallmen, but the thing is, it’s some men. Runner’s World reported that it was men in 94 per cent of cases where women felt threatened. And there are enough men out there contributing to this problem to make most women at least wary when they go running by themselves.
The problem is that women can’t tell the difference between those problem men and the genuinely nice guys.
If you’re one of the good guys, you probably don’t think of yourself as intimidating but your presence in certain circumstances can make a woman feel unnerved. If you don’t believe me, ask the women you know. Like many other women in Australia, Masa Vukotic regularly exercised in a local park But being alone she was vulnerable, and she was killed here at Koonung Creek Linear Park, in Doncaster, Melbourne. Picture: Chad Van Estrop
The good news is you’re in a great position to help us to feel more safe when we’re out running. Here’s what you can do:
• Don’t run directly behind us at the same pace. Either overtake or fall behind.
• When you’re overtaking us, say something like, ‘Passing on your left’. And then pass quickly.
• Don’t hang around running trails or paths wearing a hoodie and doing nothing in particular.
• Smile and/or wave as you run past us — we like feeling like we’re part of a community. But ignoring us works fine too, if that’s your thing.
• Don’t stop and chat. Mid-run is no place to strike up a new friendship.
• Keep eye contact to a minimum. Anything longer than two seconds is creepy.
• If you see a woman who could be being harassed, stop and ask if she needs help. At worst, you’re wrong and you feel a little sheepish. At best, you could stop something terrible from happening.
• Tell us if you’ve seen something threatening ahead. Are the lights under the bridge out? We love to know stuff like that.
• If a woman is wearing headphones, and you absolutely must approach her for some reason, do it from the front.
• Don’t ask us for help if your car or bike has broken down. Find someone else.
• Give us a wide berth when you’re passing and share the footpath. Even better, step off to the side. You already have global domination; you can give us a bit of concrete.
• There is no reason to gesticulate towards your crotch. Don’t even scratch yourself until you’ve passed us.
• Don’t spit anywhere near us please.
• If you have a female partner or friend who runs, ask her if she’d like some company.
As for the smaller set of men, who have contributed to this feeling of being unsafe for women everywhere, I have a special set of requests for you:
• Stop leering.
• Stop commenting on our bodies.
• Stop catcalling.
• Stop propositioning us.
• Stop groping us.
• Stop flashing us.
• Stop raping us.
• Stop murdering us.
So please, share the responsibility for making women feel safe, and make the streets a fun place to run again.
Seriously?
How about I quote a fundamentalist imam regarding women?
What is your point of disagreement and how do fundamentalist imams figure into it?
“If you are a male, especially a larger, stronger one, then you need to be aware that people have a reasonable fear of you in places like jogging trails, alleys, parking lots, etc., especially at night and especially when there aren’t a lot of people around.”
Now that I am old and don’t scare anyone any more, I notice a difference in the way people treat me.
Equality; it sounds good, and looks good on paper, but then there’s this thing called reality.
"The world is a much more dangerous for all of us, thanks to the lack of regard for others prevalent in recent years…"Particularly for those who presume it is "society's" job to defend them.
NEWSFLASH! Law enforcement was not developed to make people safe. It was developed to preempt every yahoo from exacting retribution for perceived offenses, making civilization untenable.
SOME writers have so confounded society with government, as to leave little or no distinction between them; whereas they are not only different, but have different origins. Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness; the former promotes our happiness POSITIVELY by uniting our affections, the latter NEGATIVELY by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first is a patron, the last a punisher.Society in every state is a blessing, but Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil . . . For were the impulses of conscience clear, uniform and irresistibly obeyed, man would need no other lawgiver. - Thomas Paine, Common Sense (1776)
Quoting Margaret Atwood as a sagacious source on “women’s issues” is precisely equivalent, but opposite, of using an imam for the same purpose.
I've scanned 145 posts on this thread. Best post, IMO
People like that think it is up to society to take care of their every need-a lack of personal responsibility like that doesn’t bode well for a productive-or very long-life...
The snowflakes who think they are somehow owed protection would not last long here-there is no way deputies would be patrolling trails in the woods keeping hikers from all hazards-there are a lot of miles out here-and very few people-if you call 911 from your own property it could be an hour before a deputy-or an ambulance-gets to your home-never mind a trail off any road in the woods-if you don’t know how to help/defend yourself from animal or human predators, you are pretty much screwed...
That also goes far toward explaining why snowflakes can’t get hired by anyone but government-most of society isn’t interested in babysitting adults...
Amen.
If there’s one thing I can’t stomach, it’s “ala-carte” equality....
Ah, ok. Thought you were disagreeing with my point rather than the authors...
Not at all. Quoting Margaret Atwood shows a total lack of respect/regard for those not in lock step with the one quoting her.
It’s like using the Southern Poverty Law Center as a “source.”
The way I see it, I’m only an equal as long as I’m willing to be treated as one 24/7-if I were inclined to play the woman card when I wanted to demand special treatment-then I’m not really an equal at all...
What passes for feminism today has made a lot of men less than desirable to women like myself, as well-all/most of the “real” men are taken-what is left is guys who want an obedient domestic servant, or metrosexual types that want you to use your income to support them while they stay home and enrich their minds-or something-neither type is acceptable to a female who has been treated as an equal by a husband already...
Yes, by all means, let’s rescind reality.
The Chest Beaters seem to assume that anyone holding a gun is automatically Matt Dillon.
Women should try to limit solo running. I feel more comfortable running with another person, plus you can talk and the miles go by faster :) I do short training runs alone in my suburban neighborhood, but I stay close to home.
Wow that was a strong finish. Just join a fitness club.
Basically a good article even though I don’t agree with some of it, and a few comments were pretty much over the top. Probably sexist too.
But a couple of things a woman can do...
Already mentioned repeatedly, leave the headphones at home. If I’m in a position I think I may be in danger, the last thing I want is something over my ears to cover the sound of approaching feet.
Get a pistol and learn to use it. Be sure you know WHEN you can use it in your area.
I’ve seen older men walking with a big stick or cane for protection.
Learn some self defense. A couple of things you can remember that will help a lot -
If an attacker approaches from the front:
Let him come on in, you want him close. Soon as he gets close enough raise that knee, hard as you can. He’ll forget about rape in a big hurry.
If someone grabs you from behind:
don’t panic. Raise your foot, feel around for his shin and stomp straight down HARD...I guarantee when you break the arch of the foot he’ll let go and forget about rape. Even if you don’t break it, ever drop a book on the arch of your foot? It hurts a lot...he’ll let go.
If he has a weapon - Depends on the situation and the weapon. If you have a little training, and can move fast, you can move to the side, grab the wrist, and push against the elbow. It’s not hard to break an arm that way, and by moving to the side, you should be out of the way if a gunshot does occur. If it’s a knife or some type of club, same thing, but less dangerous. But be sure and be forceful about it, and pull the arm around behind him. Keep pressure on the elbow, he’ll do anything you want. Pull the wrist, push the elbow. Try it on a friend, but be careful, it hurts.
Scream. Make enough noise and he might just leave, usually they do not want to attract attention. Attract as much as you can.
A good hard kick to the knee from the front or side can break the knee.
There are a couple of good kill punches but I always avoid telling people about them, I don’t want the wrong person to find out just how to land a kill shot. Boatloads of gang members and thug types would love to know how to drop an adversary with one punch and he’s dead before he hits the ground...so I try not to go there.
Get some good self defense training if you want to run in a risky area. Run with a friend. Leave the headphones at home. Take a gun or club. Pepper spray might be good too, an open fanny pack makes it easily accessible. You can make your own pepper spray with vinegar and cayenne, put it in a squirt bottle. Aim for the eyes.
The last thing they want is someone who is ready to fight back. Learn how to fight back.
Enjoy your pooches! All 3!
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