Posted on 09/09/2016 5:37:46 PM PDT by Chickensoup
It’s crazy for a man to marry in this legal environment. Do everything else you wish. Stand in front of a holy man and make promises. Have kids. Buy a house. Have thanksgiving, etc.
But under no circumstances sign a state contract.
No one should be "yoked". If he's not ready for marriage he's not ready. "Yoking" him isn't going to anything but bump up the divorce stats at the county clerk's office.
Wait until at least 25....They need their degrees and a few years at work before they will be really ready.
My husband and I were 20 when we started dating, 21 when we were engaged; 23 when married. Happily married for over 20 years. I think its less the age then if they are ready, as people, for the responsibility of marriage. I also suggest waiting a few years before children.
What should they wait for? To date multiple people, over the years, as “practice?”
Sex before marriage, with someone other than the person you’re going to marry, only increases the chance of committing adultery later on.
If they both understand the reality of marriage and are not blinded by foolish modern notions of marriage and are serious about marriage being a lifetime commitment, as well as being compatible, having discussed and agreed upon the family religion, how many children they would like and all the other important aspects of marriage, then age does not matter.
We were 20/19 when we were married. Last June marked 40 years.
I believe in early marriage. I met my wife at age 18 and wanted to be married at age 19. We were later married at age 24, but I regret not spending more years with this fabulous woman who I’ve spent my entire adult life with now. We are in our 40s with a 12 year old son whom she is homeschooling. She is the best wife and mother in the world - no complaints - just blessed!
When he is ready to completely support her, then marry.
Make sure he is focused on getting to that point.
Waiting any longer is overrated.
FYI I married at 35. If you find the right one, don’t wait.
I am sorry yoked is a Biblical term for marriage as a team effort.
The way you describe your son, you have failed at bringing up a man who can provide for his family. You want this young lady to to finish your work or be a second mom to him. The way I see it, she'll end up supporting him. She'll be wearing the pants in that household and he'll be the couch potato. If he can't provide for her before they get married, then he certainly won't when they are.
I hope she wises up and finds someone who is worthy. She sounds like a great catch. Your son, not.
... I see nothing wrong with marriage at 21...
Theoretically, they could have a shot at a
70th+ anniversary.
She has a great future and your son can work full or part time, and he is disorganized and would do well yoked? You are talking her up and him down?
Early marriage has little to do with that scenario.
Are you looking out for his best interests or just want him yoked to someone pulling harder than he is. I’d say it’s doomed to fail. He may enjoy his baseline income and occasional work, but sooner or later his manhood will kick in and realize he’s a stay at home mom (kids or not), and probably prove his masculinity to himself by finding a sweetie on the side.
Or, let’s flip the coin. How’s she going to feel a few months or couple years from now being hitched to someone less successful? How will this affect her career? Their social life with her work peers? This may eventually put pressure on him, or for her to seek a divorce, or just have her sweetie on the side, probably a boss of sorts for advancement purposes.
Now I know this is harsh, but you did ask, and considering the mismatches of today that end in divorce, I’d say this is one of them.
I’d also say friends and family are using the early marriage thing as an excuse, so they will not have to be blunt.
//not at 38 when it fits some feminist’s corporate ladder timetable.
I have a very “corporate” successful female friend who waited until 37 and she is hating life with her two-month-old right now.//
First DO NOT ASSUME it is “some feminist’s corporate ladder timetable.” or that 38 or even 43 is too old.
Sometimes, like with us, we were told we could not have children, we tried for years. We went to specialists, had miscarriages etc. Finally we gave up. And God laughed. I had my daughter at 43 - 3 months before our 20th wedding anniversary and I am LOVING life chasing after my 1 year old. BTW, I am a successful business owner who retired early - so I have the income and time that my younger friends do not.
you did not say how long they have been dating. One size doesn’t fit all but I think a reasonable amount of dating time in months to years is needed before marrying at any age.
If they’re in love let them do marry. My first wife was 19 and I was 20 when we married. Of course we have only lasted 48 years. So far.
My wife and I got married at 22 and just had our 30th. My thoughts on marriage is the same as having kids: if you wait til you’re. 100% ready, it’ll never happen.
God’s love is mirrored in marriage. Love only becomes real when we learn that it’s not all about us. Marriage and children are about commitment. It won’t always make you happy, but it will make you a better man.
stay out of it and let them decide
Yoked means exactly what it means. Captured and bound by the neck to live the life of a beast of burden. Cracked on the ass with a whip, and pulling a load.
Yoked is the opposite of free. Women enjoy yoking men.
this is none of your business. They are adults.
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