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NFL "Live" Thread Week 1
ESPN.com ^ | ESPN.com staff

Posted on 09/05/2016 9:13:04 AM PDT by Bender2

NFL Schedule - 2016

WEEK ONE

Arizona Cardinals
Atlanta Falcons
Baltimore Ravens
Buffalo Bills
Carolina Panthers
Chicago Bears
Cincinnati Bengals
Cleveland Browns
Dallas Cowboys
Denver Broncos
Detroit Lions
Green Bay Packers
Houston Texans
Indianapolis Colts
Jacksonville Jaguars
Kansas City Chiefs
Los Angeles Rams
Miami Dolphins
Minnesota Vikings
New England Patriots
New Orleans Saints
New York Giants
New York Jets
Oakland Raiders
Philadelphia Eagles
Pittsburgh Steelers
San Diego Chargers
San Francisco 49ers
Seattle Seahawks
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tennessee Titans
Washington Redskins

(Excerpt) Read more at espn.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Sports; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: football; nfl; nflweek
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2016 NFL LIVE THREAD
WEEK ONE

Well, after the Sooners... got mauled by UH--

There should be some OU Gals... that need my brand of comforting!

Now now, Bendy-- Forget those Okie shanks.... The 11th is my "Braindead" series final and afterward, I can spend all my time taking care of you!

Clam down, Mary Liz-- We'll get started on more of the good stuff just as soon... as I give my picks for week one.

Well, I'll keep... the covers warm for ya--

Rats! They cancel my series and Bendy goes younger... for Antgal!

Well, Alicia, when ants like Mary Liz get in your pants... you just gotta go with the flow--

Okay, campers-- It is Week One and I am damn sure... ready for some football!

Thursday, Sept. 8 the "Me! Me! Me Cam!" Cittycats will feast on Manning Heavy's Old Nee-high Nags--

Sunday, Sept. 11 we find the Bucking Ears stealing all of Vick's Old Black Byrds gold--

Allegra's Old Earlers will make the DeBridged Viqueens' Fat Lady sing--

The Chipless Iggles have no joy as Johnny Football-less Brownies eke out a close win while RG.2 tries his best to give the game away--

TCU North visits from Cincy, shooting down the sky high hope of the Jersey Jets--

The Breezer is becalmed as Seven's Waiders wade through, leaving the Ain'ts high and dry--

My Old Dallas Texans do everything they can and more to chase the Bolts back to Diegoland winless--

King Rex decrees his Buffalo Wingers to romp and stomp Crab City's Black Byrds-- And they do.

Allegra's Favorite Texicans, JJ and the Clown, fold, spindle and mutilat Jay Cutler and his Cubbies--

The Texicans bring JJ & Cowney to a football game. You bring Jay Cutler... and get your ass beat. That's the Chicago Bears way!

It is easy going for big's Packer Wackers as they glide in 3rd gear over the Jagoffs--

Miami swims all the way across the nation to just get kick in the fins by the Seahags--

Lots of Luck about as the Indy Ponies tromp Detroit's Loinchops--

Impy's Old Chi-town Cards don't have to face The Tom, but they get Jimmy Grab'emlow and big is not happy--

Monday, Sept. 12, we have the twilight double bill of three teams that suck and one that doesn't--

Damn, Bendy-- That's... just mean--

The Deadskins get scalped by Big Ben's Stoolers--

The new LA Ewes get Chipped to death by the 69ers--

And, BTW, here at Jerry's... AT&T Deathstar Stadium--

It is in Dak... we trust!

The Dakstar... and his StormBoys make Eli look forward to joining his big bro in retirement--

Poor Eli, he no have... chinaman's chance!


1 posted on 09/05/2016 9:13:04 AM PDT by Bender2
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To: Allegra; big'ol_freeper; Impy; SevenofNine; Cletus.D.Yokel; Rummyfan; Liberty Valance; Perdogg; ...
Okay, y'all get cracking... and get those pick in!
2 posted on 09/05/2016 9:13:36 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

Can’t wait.


3 posted on 09/05/2016 9:22:47 AM PDT by Coronal
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To: Bender2

Start Hill or Bernard for Cincy?


4 posted on 09/05/2016 9:23:23 AM PDT by aynrandfreak (Being a Democrat means never having to say you're sorry)
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To: Bender2
I'm back! And so is my Pack! Go Pack Go!! Go Pats!! Here's how week one will go:


5 posted on 09/05/2016 9:27:30 AM PDT by big'ol_freeper
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To: Bender2

Hey mighty bent one,

please add me to your weekly ping list!

Thanks!


6 posted on 09/05/2016 9:33:02 AM PDT by djf ("She wore a raspberry beret, the kind you find in a second hand store..." - Prince)
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And here is how the season will shake out:


7 posted on 09/05/2016 9:34:13 AM PDT by big'ol_freeper
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To: big'ol_freeper
WEEK ONE

Thursday, September 8
Picks so far--

......Panthers/Broncos

Sunday, September 11

...Browns/Eagles...

......Bengals/Jets

Chargers/Chiefs......

...Bills/Ravens...

Dolphins/Seahawks......

...Buccaneers/Falcons...

Bears/Texans......

......Packers/Jaguars

...Raiders/Saints...

...Vikings/Titans...

...Giants/Cowboys...

Lions/Colts......

Patriots/Cardinals......

Gadzooks, big! You picking... against Tom's Tots?


Monday, September 12

...Steelers/Washington...

Rams/49ers......


8 posted on 09/05/2016 9:41:51 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: djf
Done... and we do accept Pay PAL but cash is always preferred!
9 posted on 09/05/2016 9:45:30 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

error for monday night.

Steelers vs Redskins

honest Injun


10 posted on 09/05/2016 9:49:47 AM PDT by Covenantor (Men are ruled...by liars who refuse them news, and by fools who cannot govern. " Chesterton)
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To: Bender2

Honestly, I think Prescott might give Dallas a better chance to win than an old, slow Romo.

I love Tony-—one of the best quarterbacks never to do well in the playoffs/win a Super Bowl (along with Marino, Tarkenton/Lamonica)-—but even before he got hurt he was not moving well.


11 posted on 09/05/2016 9:53:31 AM PDT by LS ("Castles Made of Sand, Fall in the Sea . . . Eventually" (Hendrix))
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To: Bender2

As a white American, the Negros, Felons, and Liberals (NFL) league doesn’t want my business.


12 posted on 09/05/2016 9:53:49 AM PDT by CodeToad (Islam should be banned and treated as a criminal enterprise!)
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To: aynrandfreak
Re: Start Hill or Bernard for Cincy?

Really, freak-- In the stream of life, does it... really matter in the point spread?

You gotta hand it to old Ayn... she strikes right for the jugular!

13 posted on 09/05/2016 9:54:06 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2
*bump*


14 posted on 09/05/2016 10:00:12 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a Simple Manner for a Happy Life :o)
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To: Covenantor
Re: error for monday night.
Steelers vs Redskins
honest Injun

Ugg-- That all... Greek to me, Kemosabe!

15 posted on 09/05/2016 10:00:23 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: CodeToad
Re: As a white American, the Negros, Felons, and Liberals (NFL) league doesn’t want my business.

Well, that... explains--

Why you've not been on this thread... for the past 20 years!

16 posted on 09/05/2016 10:05:32 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Liberty Valance
Re:

Meanwhile, back... in China--

https://i0.wp.com/0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/F/3/6/Putin-Football.jpg

17 posted on 09/05/2016 10:09:05 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: LS
Re: Honestly, I think Prescott might give Dallas a better chance to win than an old, slow Romo. I love Tony-—one of the best quarterbacks never to do well in the playoffs/win a Super Bowl (along with Marino, Tarkenton/Lamonica)-—but even before he got hurt he was not moving well.

Keep this under your hat, L-- Between just us two... I'm scared shinloaless for Tony, too!

AND it is driving me... NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

18 posted on 09/05/2016 10:16:52 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

In New England we are still four weeks away from the season opening.


19 posted on 09/05/2016 10:34:29 AM PDT by Vermont Lt
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To: Bender2

The NFL and these NFL teams are in a bind if they don’t stand up for America against those player like Kaepernick who refuse to stand for the national anthem. If the NFL and these NFL teams don’t stand up for America against these guys, I’m gonna be much less interested in the NFL.

This whole thing is an Obama thing IMO. Next year when Trump is President, I don’t think we’ll see this, and if we do, I think the NFL and the NFL teams will be much more emboldened to take these guys down a notch. Right now, I think they’re intimidated like the cops are intimidated by Obama’s encouragement of lawlessness and hatred of America.

So far, those are my picks...


20 posted on 09/05/2016 10:39:56 AM PDT by Jim W N
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