Posted on 08/26/2016 6:09:28 PM PDT by Lazamataz
For about a decade and a half, I have heard horror stories of Indian IT outsourcing. I have not seen the horror stories become realized -- for the most part, the crap you get out of Indian offshore IT is, well, crap.
It is not crap because of their skill, in some cases. I have found that while 65% of Indian IT 'professionals' overstate their skill, the remaining 35% can do the job.
The issue is the cultural differences. In the case of most Indians, some 90%, they will do EXACTLY as you ask. And that is their downfall.
Americans are willing to challenge a boss's premises. Indians are not. They will deliver exactly what is asked for, and Americans will -- generally -- find a better, more efficient way to do things. I will give you a personal example:
I was tasked with replicating a credit-card payment data flow, to duplicate the entire flow, except at the end. At the end, thing A had to happen instead of thing B. My boss was an Indian, and asked me to replicate the entire flow with the minor difference at the end.
I was given a week to accomplish my task. I returned in 30 minutes. "I'm done," I said.
"No, you can't be. Come back to me when you are done."
"I'm done. Here's the output. I put a switch on the final SQL procedure for the different final behavior."
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But this essay is not about that. This essay is about Indian recruiters. These people are a scourge. They are a plague.
I intend to stay in Atlanta, GA, but I have had many Indian recruiters contact me about -- for example -- a two month position in Benoit, Wisconson. What the FREEP.
I even put the directive IN MY LAST NAME in the job boards.
I used to be Laz A. Mataz, but I changed my name to Laz A. Mataz (NO RELOCATION! ATLANTA OPPORTUNITIES ONLY!).
They still cannot see it.
So, here is a homage to the evil, horrible Indian recruiters that now flood the recruiting market.
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Typical conversation with an Indian recruiter:
I.R.: Ello this is Ganesh Gupta calling you from A.I.T.R. (Annoying I.T.Recruiters). How are you doing today?
Me: I’m ok. How are you.
I.R.: Fine, thanks for asking. Yes I have a position for you. Are you interested?
Me: It depends.
I.R.: Ello?
For some reason the say ‘hello’ when they mean any number of other things besides hello including: ‘what?’ or ‘would you please clarify?’ or ‘can you hear me?’ I like pretending they mean ‘hello’ as in the greeting.
Me: Hello
I return the ‘greeting’ and they think I can’t hear them or don’t understand what they’re saying.
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
This has actually gone on much longer than this. The passive aggression can be quite satisfying. Eventually I’ll give in and get the conversation back on track by letting them know I can hear them.
I.R.: Yes I have a position for you. Are you interested?
Me: It depends.
I.R.: It depends?
Me: That’s what I said.
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Where is it located?
I.R.: You live in Atlanta, Georg-YEE-yah?
(Indian recruiters CANNOT pronounce Georgia. It's pronounced Georg-ja. They ALWAYS pronounce it Georg-YEE-yah.)
Me: Where…is…the…position…located?
I.R.: Yes the position is located in b..boom foc, Wyoming.
Me: I think it’s pronounced ‘Bum F**k’.
I.R.: Oh sorry yes. Are you interested?
Me: No. I only want to stay in Atlanta, Georgia.
I.R.: You want to stay in Atlanta, Georg-YEE-yah?
Me: Yes.
I.R.: But this is in Boom-foc Wyoming.
Me: I know. But I want to stay in Atlanta, Georgia.
I.R.: This pays very well.
Me: How much does it pay?
I.R.: What is the lowest rate will you accept?
Me: What is the highest rate you are willing to pay?
I.R.: What is the lowest rate will you accept?
Me: What is the highest rate you are willing to pay?
I.R.: What is the lowest rate will you accept?
Me: One million dollars per hour.
I.R.: Ha, ha, oh no. I am sorry the most we can pay you is dollar forty per hour.
Me: One dollar and forty cents per hour?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: One dollar and forty cents per hour?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: I think you mean forty U.S. dollars per hour.
I.R.: Yes.
This is significantly less than I can make anywhere in the U.S. It’s not uncommon for them to say the word ‘dollar’ when they mean that the amount is in U.S. dollars…not rupees.
Me: Is this on a W-2, 1099 or corp-to-corp basis?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: I’m asking you a question. Is the rate on a W-2, 1099 or corp-to-corp basis?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: What is the duration of this project?
I.R.: Ello?
Me: What is the duration of this project?
I.R.: This position is two months.
Me: What is the job title?
I.R.: JAVA developer.
Me: I’m not interested.
I.R.: You are not interested?
Me: I’m not interested because I’m not a JAVA developer. I design and build C#, MVC, and SQL systems. I’m not interested in relocating to Bum F**k, Wyoming. The rate is too low. The duration is too short.
I.R.: We can pay dollar forty-two per hour.
Me: I’m still not interested.
I.R.: Is the location of Boom-foc, Wyoming ok?
Me: No.
I.R.: It is not ok?
Me: That’s what I said.
I.R.: But the position is two months.
Me: Two months is too short.
I.R.: Two months is too short?
Me: That’s what I said. Also I’m not a JAVA developer.
I.R.: You are not a JAVA developer?
Me: That’s what I said.
I.R.: We can go as high as dollar forty-three an hour.
Me: I'm making sixty an hour.
I.R.: Dollar forty three is a great rate.
Me: I'm making sixty an hour.
I.R.: Dollar forty four, I can do. I will contact my manager first.
Me: I'm making sixty an hour.
I.R.: The highest I can do is dollar forty four. Can you do this corp-to-corp? When can you report to work?
Me: (click)
I have gotten to the point that if you have an Indian accent on the phone, I simply tell them I am off the market. It seems to be the magic phrase that gets them off the phone the quickest.
Also, if an Indian emails me about Benoit, Wisconsin — or any other location other than Atlanta, GA — I add them them to my Yahoo.mail banned domain filter. I never will be able to see any more emails from their entire domain.
They are the HIV of the recruiting world.
Those of us who saw it start back in the ‘90s in Silicon Valley tried to tell USA CEO’s they were being conned.
We were told we were free to find jobs elsewhere.
Now Indian managers hire ONLY indians and American workers are told by HR that they are no longer needed.
It is going to get worse.
Wait, I thought you had a 50% above average all-Murican job!
At my old company, before I retired, we used to do tech interviews over the phone with candidates in India. The candidates were wizards, they could answer any question. However, when they actually showed up for work, they seemed to have forgotten everything they knew.
So a decree went out that all interviews must be conducted over Skype. The candidate had to hold up his passport with his picture at the beginning of the interview. The problem stopped, but the prices went up.
Not my experience.
If you want quality, you hire Americans (and, curiously, East Europeans).
If you want crap, you hire Indians (with a few notable exeptions. I have seen a few STELLAR Indian IT types in my day. But they are about 5-10%.)
Indian programmers tend to do every project as if it is a class exercise, for a grade.
Whether it actually works in the real-world application for which it is intended is someone else’s problem.
I must look Injun or sound Injun. I got hired to be an Injun-eer.
What’s even worse is that they are often from a firm that isn’t even the main contracting firm with the real company.
Some fat-cat Indian contracting firm (WiPro) is the point of contact with the real client, but WiPro doesn’t want to dirty their hands with, you know, actual people. So they in turn hire BumbleFark Consultants to find and run actual people to fill the positions.
Now you have TWO middlemen between talking directly with the client during the interview process, and TWO middlemen being vampires on your actual pay.
And on top of that most only want to hire their own countrymen, and treat people in general like crap.
Companies all got wise to substituting ‘ringers’. I wondered why at my last few online tech tests, I had to ‘proof’ myself. I know why, now.
BTW: My last test, .NET 4.5, I scored a 96% percentile.
I’m a triple-badass. :)
Man you sound like your company got conned.
Some organizations are like that.
I think you should make $143 per hour, working at home, 30 hours a week.
But I do not have the money to pay you.
Good Luck, Laz.
PRECISELY. This is why, for the most part, American developers are far superior. We innovate.
Yup, and if the two layers ever have a dispute, guess who sees it in the paycheck (you) and guess who gets inconvenienced when it forces you to quit (the client).
And yet some American bosses are just asses.
I’ve had similar but a lot shorter conversations with IRs too.
Lately I’ve been getting message from IRs about a month or two here or there way on the other side of the country from me.
hahahahahahaha! that is exactly how it goes down! ive listened in on many such phone calls between my husband and indian recruiters.
Well, limiting your geographical area can limit one’s prospects too. When I advertised, I never did that (though attempting to indicate a Chicago area preference before finally consenting to go on the road).
I wouldn’t want to lead on some clueless dweeb. I might catch the cluelessness virus myself and then where would I be?
Lots of companies got conned through the 2000’s. Indians would send in ‘ringers’. They got smart around 2010.
Of course you're right.
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