What is the most Cartoonish Thing to Ever Happen to You?

[cyclotic]

When I was in high school, my mom drove me to school one day and dropped me off at the corner. I got out of the car, turned around and walked smack into a stop sign, face first. After the quick stop, I looked around to make sure nobody saw it and nonchalantly walked to school, never to utter a word about it...until today.

A few years later, I was digging post holes and we needed a jack hammer to break up some concrete. While jack hammering, I stepped back and one leg fell all the way into a four foot deep post hole, while I had a jack hammer pounding in front of me. A couple guys did see that one because I needed help to get out.

I really need a can of ACME Instant Hole

[ConservativeWarrior]

First quad riding experience. Doing about 20 mph through the NJ pine barrens, came upon a large puddle about 6 feet in diameter.

When the front wheels hit the water the quad stopped. I did not. I flew like superman, literally parallel to the ground, completely cleared the puddle and slid to a stop on my chest, arms still stretched out in front of me.

If it hadn’t been a sandy trail I might have been hurt.

[Wilhelm Tell]

I was around 12 years old, at the schoolyard climbing on what we called “monkey bars” or a “jungle gym.” I don’t know if schools still have things like that. Anyway, I was climbing up some metal bars and I fell a few feet. There was a ladder-like structure on my left and right. As I fell, my head hit a rung on one side, bounced and hit a rung on the other side... I hit my head like that three times before hitting the ground. It did not knock me out but I felt dazed for a few minutes.

[toast]

Inner-tubing behind boat.
Boat kicks up a large fish.
Fish hits me across the face.
It gave me a bloody nose.

[Betty Jane]

I was on my mail route driving one of the old postal jeeps. I was supposed to park the jeep and walk the section. There was about six inches of snow on the ground, so I left the Jeep running and ran up to each mail box on the porch.

At one stop, the Jeep shook itself into reverse. I noticed it driving backwards down the street. I ran across the yard and climbed over the split rail fence. My foot slipped on the bottom rail and I landed straddling the fence. Let me tell you, I saw stars when my female parts slammed onto that fence. (I bet you guys thought that only hurt you.) I fell sideways over the fence, head in the snow, boot caught on the top rail unable to get up as I watched the Jeep roll down the street.

Thank God a teen age boy jumped in the Jeep and stopped it before it hit a parked car.

[reed13k]

mmm a couple I suppose:
1) Riding my bike delivering papers, hit a branch in the road which went into the spokes but didn’t break when it hit the fork - was still pedaling pretty quick entire bike went over the front tire with me and my bag. landed with bike on top of me and my feet still pedaling - still have a scar on my shoulder from that.

2) Swimming in the bahamas and had a barracuda (t least pretty sure that is what it was) chase me - swam backwards faster than I’ve ever run forward in my life.

3) Slipped on the top stair as a kid, slid down and hit the wood floor at the bottom just as my sister opened the from door from outside - slid right out onto the front porch and stopped just as my feet hit the first step. Looked like I’d been sitting there just minding my own business.

4) At the age of 5 I picked up a can of spray paint and accidentally hit the button - aimed right at my face - my mom was in tears laughing as I knocked on the back screen door and looked so pitiful with my big red spotted head.

Couple more but let’s just say I’ve had a looney tune type of life....at times

[toast]

I was picking up my kids basketball that had rolled out of the garage and was resting at the base of my neighbors driveway across the cul-de-sac.

A very large turkey flew out from between 2 houses. A coyote probably scared it up from the swamp on the end of the cul-de-sac. The turkey flies into my neighbor’s aluminum garage door with a huge bang, leaving a big dent. The turkey gets up a bit wobbly and runs around the house into the back yard.

The neighbors come out of their house looking at me standing there with a basketball at the end of their driveway.

[wille777]

This was probably about 5 or 6 years ago:
Waiting at a crosswalk. As this jeep was rolling along about to reach the intersection with the green light, it’s entire right front wheel and attached chunk of axle completely detaches and flies off.

This entire detached thing flies crosses the 4 lanes of the street I’m waiting at. Hits the sidewalk about 3 feet from me. (brown pants territory)

Then bounces over the 8 lanes of the cross street and lands on the hood of this car sitting in a parking lot.

[Anima Mundi]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWifCK1JEXs
You might want to listen to this song by Great Divide:

Wylie E. Coyote

Now Wyle E. Coyote, With love on your side
Won’t you hang in there brother
You’re bound to survive
I hate that road runner, as much as you do
He’s a show off, he’s smart ass, he’s a communist too.

VERSE:
Now all them near misses, Well they ain’t your fault
Cuz the acme company, they been ripping you off
Been sending you dynamite, that won’t detonate
And jet roller skates with a bad set of brakes

CHORUS:

Now all them contraptions, and all that fame
What a high price to pay for just doing your thing
But you’re doin’ all right, things are comin’ your way
You’re just an ol’ coyote, but every dog has it day

VERSE:

Now one of these days, them tables will turn
And that weird looking bird, has got a few things to learn
Old Wyle E. Coyote, he don’t ever give in
Just pulls himself together, then he tries it again

[afsnco]

Two of them:

1. I was in HS in the lunch room and saw a kid slip on a banana peel. I think I blew milk through my nose.

2. I was in the woods and at the top of a 15 foot cliff, when my dog rubbed against the back of my legs and knocked me off, luckily into a rhododendron bush.

[Fellow Traveler]

I call it my wylie e. Coyote moment. I was fixing a glass shower door using a rubber mallet. Missed hitting the hinge assembly on the door and hit the glass with the metal shaft of the mallet. The whole door broke At once but since it was safety glass it just stayed there for a second or two. Just long enough for me to realize what was coming. It then broke all over the floor, scratched my legs up good.

[rlmorel]

[dfwgator]

[IronJack]

Didn’t happen to me, but I saw video of it or I never would have believed it.

A guy was skydiving and got caught by a wind gust and blown onto a high-tension power line. The shrouds tangled in the power line and the guy just hung there for a few minutes. Gradually, the wind blew him enough that the shrouds slipped and shorted across, which caused them, the canopy, and the skydiver to catch fire. The shrouds burned through and the skydiver fell onto the power lines themselves, then — still burning — fell about 70 feet to the roadway below, where he was struck by a passing car.

It was as close to a real-life Inspector Clouseau moment as anything I’ve ever seen. Horrible to watch but hilarious in a black kind of way.

By the way, the guy lived, with minimal permanent damage. I don’t know if he’s incredibly lucky or UNlucky, but his guardian angel must have been drunk that day.

[rlmorel]

Now, if I had stepped on a banana peel like that, I would have laid there just a little bit longer thinking "I better be careful the rest of the day!"

Kind of a funny story for me, and it sounds cartoonish in the retelling of it...recently I walked into my bedroom, and saw this HUGE bug that looked kind of like a mosquito on steroids. Its legs had a span of nearly three inches. I thought, "There is NO way I am going to bed with THAT frikking thing flying around the room..." I had visions of it flying into my snoring mouth, you know how that would be. I had NO idea what kind of bug it was, but is apparently called a Cranefly.

So, without taking my eyes off it, I groped for a magazine or ANYTHING I could whack it with. This was a killable bug. No mercy. I roll up the magazine, creep over and...WHACK! I MISSED the damned thing, when I was trying so hard not to miss. And then, don't I lose sight of it, and cannot find it. I had to get a BIG flashlight and hunt for it. After 15 minutes, I saw it again, and...WHACK! Don't I miss it AGAIN! It drops to the floor and disappears. SHIT.

Now, this is a MAJOR, DEDICATED bug hunt. I look for twenty minutes with no success, swearing and muttering the whole time. My wife is in the next room and thinks I have lost my mind.

Finally, with a sick feeling, I have to give up. As I put down the magazine, I feel something crawling on my leg, inside my pants. I roll my eyes at myself and tell myself "Get a grip. You are just feeling itchy, there is nothing there."

Then, a few minutes later, I feel something again, and I grit my teeth and silently say to myself "Good God. THERE IS NOTHING THERE, knock this crap off and get a hold of yourself."

As I am telling this to my wife, I feel something and "ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH! THERE IS SOMETHING THERE!" I rip off my pants, and sure enough, that damned big ugly bug had flown UP MY FRIKKING PANT LEG!

I know the old saying about keeping enemies close, but this was ridiculous. I then spent the next fifteen minutes hunting it down, and DID NOT MISS again.

[rlmorel]

That alone made that movie a winner, totally apart from the social commentary!

What is it about guys and their gonads? In war, it is the first thing they ask about when wounded...in sports, we all wince when we see a guy catch one in the stones...but for some reason, we find it humorous (when it happens to someone else) hence the popularity of the “Ow, My Balls” program!

I think that is hilarious!!!! Thanks for posting that!

[ExGeeEye]

Growing up with a pair of cats in a house with a long axis, carpeted 3/4 of its length, vinyl in the kitchen; the cats would chase each other from one end to the other a dozen or so times when young, maybe twice in succession as seniors. They would get a good running start on the carpets and hit the kitchen floor, reverse the direction they were facing and start running the other way while still sliding on the vinyl in the original direction; they would briefly run in place — very cartoony — before gaining traction and heading back toward the bedrooms.

Thanks for the memory :)

[b4me]

Years ago was in Vermont driving on a road somewhat near Dam Diner and saw big turtle in the road. pulled over got out and was hurrying toward it to try to shush it to the side of road so it wouldn’t get run over - I motioned for a car coming the other way to slow up as I was approaching the turtle - only to see it start snapping at me - I jumped and freaked out and ran back to my car, that’s when I saw the jagged back part of shell and realized it wasn’t a typical turtle.

[rlmorel]

LOL, like this?

[Lurkina.n.Learnin]

BFL