Posted on 09/21/2015 6:14:44 AM PDT by BJ1
"I know lots of single men," Cara, 26, a resident of Brooklyn, New York, told Mic. "It's just... most are of little or no interest to me as anything other than a hookup."
Tired of old ways: The somewhat revolutionary notion that women are actually deciding not to marry is something that wouldn't be possible if the value of marriage itself hadn't changed drastically over the years.
"When women's life choices were highly constrained, they had little negotiating power," Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington, wrote for CNN. "They had to marry or were seen as damaged ... It's different now. While most women still want marriage, they don't want it at just any price. They don't want it if it scuttles their dreams."
That, in part, is due to marriage no longer being a must for women's social and financial standing. "I don't think hookup culture is damning for long-term commitment," Lisa, 27, said. "I think it's a response to the large obsolescence of marriage as an institution for women. We don't need to be economically or socially dependent on men."
That carries out through the numbers. Compared to their grandparents' generation, millennial women are significantly more likely to have a bachelor's degree and be a part of the labor force.
"I think a lot of us just don't think marriage is that important because it doesn't offer the security it once did," Norah, 27, told Mic. "It's not as necessary anymore because I can work. I can support myself."
....
It's not that there aren't enough men to explain waning marriage stats — there also aren't enough women who want to walk down the aisle.
(Excerpt) Read more at mic.com ...
quote “What ever happened to feminine? Or mature? Or educated? Or financial responsible? or beautiful? Or motherly? Who wants children with a child?”
all those girls were snapped up by any guy with a brain before college was over.
Let’s face it. Women make lousy men, and vice-versa.
(I’m probably going to get into trouble for this...)
I don’t know how knowing that your potential wife-to-be has this “history” that is very trying on a relationship. I’m going to get a little personal, but my wife “dated” a lot more than I did before we got together, and I had to mentally work through that. It really bothered me that she was with that many guys. So, that’s on me, but I think a lot of guys are like that, we get our little egos hurt. We want to be the “only one” in our women’s lives.
Or, maybe that’s just me, but I talk to other guys who feel the same way, who get hung up on women’s track records. I feel sorry for young guys today who have these women who have been ridden more than a racehorse.
You have that right. Ask the know it all 20 something again when she is 40, lonely, and bitter over going through dating hell and lost opportunities.
She is one of the matchmakers from “Married at First Sight”, which if you don’t know about is worth a watch. It is like a car wreck that you can’t turn away from. Works about as well as setting up blind dates by just “putting two rats in a box”.
I know several single women that are very attractive and financially successful. This can be very intimidating to many men. Really scares off a lot of potential suitors. Men like being needed.
What is worse, these are the folks and their sibs who will clean our bed pans with Obamacare, when it is "our" time.....
What a happy thought that is...
They will reach their forties and wonder why they are so depressed and unhappy, and why nothing they ever did in their earlier life holds any real meaning for them.
Exactly, very short sided.
You touch on a point I bring up often. The “Great Society” program of the 1960s made a very socially destructive form of behavior possible. Giving money and housing to unmarried welfare recipients not only creates future criminals and future parasites, it encourages exactly the wrong sort of behavior. (promiscuity) Back when there were bad consequences for being loose, we had a lot less of it.
How right you are. I used to love Diana Ross and the Supremes singing that old song, “Love Child.” I don’t know when they sung it, maybe the 60s? But that notion is so foreign to us now.
She was telling her man in the song that she DID TOO love m and want him. But she didn’t want to do what he was “wanting” because she didn’t want to create a child like she was, a Love Child, a shame to her family, who grew up dirt poor in second hand dresses and knew the shame at school of being that unplanned pregnancy.
WHAT A CONCEPT. My first husband, in Europe, was such a love child, and in Switzerland it was still shameful then. Everyone knew it meant poverty and shame.
I think we were better off then. Kids deserve a more secure, higher income family where a loving parent watches the child all day.
>>My daughter is 30 earns a six figure salary and so wants to get married. But she is so tired of waiting around to meet a man that wants to get married like her, that she is quitting her job in 2 weeks and going to SE Asia for 6 months or more.<<
I notice women like to mention their education and career when it is impressive. But do men really give a damn about that?
College educated women want to marry college educated men.
But feminist bias in admissions and scholarships has led to roughly 60% of college graduates being women, 40% male.
That means a third of the women are single or marry guys without college degrees, and few are willing to marry “down” by their opinion (though a blue collar guy may earn more than a dude with a useless degree).
“all those girls were snapped up by any guy with a brain before college was over.”
Yep! Those women do exist, rare, but they exist.
60 years ago we had Leave it to Beaver. That was mocked throughout the 1970’s and 80’s.
WE were making fun of naivete and simple values. 50 Years ago we had “My Three Sons” and towards the end of that series, Fred remarries a woman with a daughter.
45 Years ago we breached the traditional Nuclear family with the Brady Bunch. Then we had the “Waltons”.
30 Years ago we moved further away from tradition with “Who's the Boss”.
20 years ago we got “Sienfield” “Friends” and then “Sex in the City”.
As we “progressed” we saw the devolution of the “typical” wholesome family. This was something to ridicule where nobody seems content and they all spend time with friends in an apartment always finding it difficult to commit to another person.
The Baby Boomers are a screwed up generation of narcissism and loneliness. This leads to Depression. I am a baby boomer too but I am a traditionalist and married with 3 kids. We grew up in a very cynical time from the assassination of JFK in 1963 down to Watergate and the Fall of Saigon. Then we got Gerald Ford's “Whip Inflation Now” (WIN) buttons and failed Swine Flu shots. Carter's “malaise” speech did us in along with the fall of the US Embassy in Tehran.
In short, we live desperate lives of frivolous enjoyment, freedom, mass and very personal communication, gourmet foods and over indulgence. We have no time for intimacy and commitment because everything is instant gratification. Who has time to marry when we are having so much damn fun? This is reflected in pop culture, film, literature and general media so we wind up with these frustrated girls eating lunch out everyday talking about how unfulfilled they are. It seems like a never-ending spiral.
Living together provides sharing of rent, but getting married means losing SNAP, discounted daycare, higher EITC, so they don’t get married.
Welfare disincentivizes it.
It’s always important to first address the biological aspects of sexuality. Some important axioms:
1) The purpose of marriage is to procreate and raise children. If marriage is done for reasons other than this, it is superfluous. This does not stop people from marrying.
2) A surprisingly large percentage of people are, for many reasons, either incapable, unwilling, defective, or reject the notion of marriage. However many cling to the desire to procreate, which is a very bad idea outside of marriage, and likely damns their offspring to inferior and criminal lives. Marriage provides enormous advantages to children.
3) At an income plateau unique to a particular country, suddenly there is a marked decrease in birthrate from rapid growth to sustainable (about 2.1 to 2.3 children per family.) That nation’s government and prevailing culture cannot usually raise that birthrate even marginally, but they can drive it further down by putting increasing numbers of demands on the backs of parents.
Everything from materialistic demands, educational demands, student loans, inflation, family size limiting morality, and cultural propaganda work to strongly reduce family size to even 1 child per family or less.
4) Despite the obviously frivolous notion of the “supermom”, women can either work, or they can raise children. Otherwise they are expected to perform two full time jobs. And this was a terrible trap.
With “women’s liberation”, women wanted an opportunity to succeed on their own merits. Many also saw the benefits of doubling the family income to increase their families’ prosperity. These were legitimate ends.
However, with increased prosperity, government kept raising taxes, to the point that one spouse was working mostly to pay taxes, their family not benefiting from their labor; in effect, women gave up raising their families to become slaves to the government.
To worship the economic god of “productivity”, it was demanded of women that they forsake their children’s upbringing. Government, of course, promised to raise their children for them. Since, “It takes a socialist village, etc.”
5) The aforementioned student loan debt is the last, and one of the most crippling attacks against marriage, children, and prosperity ever created. This is because it is “a thief of time.”
When our parents and grandparents graduated college, most of them were flat broke. But everything they earned thereafter was theirs, outside of taxes. Thus they could plan, to get married, have children, upgrade their living quarters, raise their kids, plan for their retirement, etc.
Student loan debt fouled that up horribly. By graduating with say $100,000 in debt, workers lose perhaps a decade of their more productive and fertile years. Credit check companies are now advising customers to check their potential spouses credit rating before getting married, as they will assume their debt as well.
It also erases years from the best about 20 year window of opportunity to have and raise children.
“Well, *I can afford* to get married at 30, and if we wait to have kids until we are 40, maybe we can mortgage a house when we are 50.”
This is a demographic disaster.
Starting from the start, student loans that are not backed with 100% (or more) collateral must end. If that means just a fraction of the college graduates we have today, that is more important than creating vast debt among them.
It is far better to be a garage mechanic who starts earning $32,000 a year at age 18, than to be a physician who theoretically makes $120,000 a year, but can’t have much of that money until they are 35 years old.
How dare you introduce the red pill to the masses! You insult the likes of Lena Dunham, who is raised on the liberal dais as the apex of liberal millenial attractiveness!
Yep, sound like my course in many ways.
No way would I ever want to go through my course again with 20 plus year old women. Lazy and manipulative.
>I know several single women that are very attractive and financially successful. This can be very intimidating to many men. Really scares off a lot of potential suitors. Men like being needed.<
Anytime I hear about a woman being financially secure and independent I think no man should bother with her. If she tells you she is independent what is the point of you being in her life? You are an accessory? The sperm donator to give her the other accessories she wants (children)? Maybe I’m being too cynical, but that is what I think.
“I notice women like to mention their education and career when it is impressive.”
The older and wealthier I’ve become the more I realize there is no such thing as an impressive career. Who a person is, what they are passionate about, and the things they do with their lives, matters far more to me than title or money.
Know what the Executive Vice President And Senior Litigation Attorney is in a corporation? An employee...so is the janitor.
We are youngster to you and your hubby, only 46 years.
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