Don’t do it, for the sake of your children. It will ruin their lives.
It will ruin their lives.
They will always, for the remainder of their lives feel guilty, as well as wonder if they did something wrong, then wonder if they had only done things (whatever, fill in the blanks,) differently then the outcome would have been different and they would still have their mother. They will never get over it. Never.
Turn off the electricity and walk away from the house. Abandon it. Rent a nice clean apartment for the interim while your husband recovers, and together you can make decisions about the house, and future.
Don't leave your husband and children with a mess to clean up. You are in a better position to 'fix' things than any of them.
Use a taxi until you have a drivers license.
Consult a doctor asap. You need help and medication.
I wish you well.