What’s the general rule of thumb on this?
Who has the better deal? Is it the man who is called to unselfishly give up his life for the good of his wife? Or does the wife have it easier - as she is merely called to acknowledge and respect her husbands role as the “head” of the family.
Does submit mean that the wife has no opinion or responsibility? Of course not. But it is the husband who is ultimately responsible for the welfare of his family. And a wise husband will ENLIST the help of his wife - to know where he lacks - and where she excels.
Someone once made the point that if Christ - like a cop - were called to come deal with a “domestic disturbance”, when the door was opened - regardless of the circumstances - the first words out of his mouth are “Where is the man? He and I need to have a TALK...”.
If there is a problem in the family, it is the MAN whom God will hold responsible - not the women. But like Adam we men have the tendency to blame our wives for the failings of our household.
In our secular society I have only seen actual Godly leadership in the military. A good leader is defined as those who best take care of their men - while accomplishing the mission.
In the military, the officers are to eat AFTER all the troops have been fed, they sleep AFTER all the troops have been billeted.
As husbands we are called first and foremost to care for our wives. Why? because they are incapable? NO, because it is our JOB.
Sadly, my own efforts are often in much need of improvement...