Posted on 05/04/2015 7:09:36 PM PDT by Rebel_Ace
There once was a jihadi named Roy
Not coming to spread any joy
The nerve of this man
Executing his plan
In the home of the Dallas Cowboys
The muzzies sure want us all dead
Even when waking from bed
If you stand in their line
While ignoring their whine
They'll certainly cut off your head.
The Prequel...
Said one muzzie to another, “For sure!
Not much more of this I can endure!”
So how can we stop,
with our guns that go “POP!”
These evil Texas bags of manure?
Who was worse than the rambling wreck
A cop then came on the scene
Looking so tough and so mean
And quickly put Kleck in check.
On our city she had no pity
She pulled on the string
And blew up everything
Assuring she'll not be an old bitty.
There once was a guy named mohammed
Farm animals got him inflam-ed
He told his donkey
“Yer cheatin’ on me,
So now it’s just camels in my bed!”
I assure you that I am as creative as that rock in your front yard. ;-)
There once was a muzzie named Phil
Some cartoonists he came to kill.
Well root te toot
The jihadi did shoot
Now he's buried up high on Boot Hill
There once was a muzzie named Phil
Some cartoonists he came to kill.
Well root te toot
That muzzie did shoot
So they buried him high on Boot Hill
Well, I think you should remember that we enlisted guys were extremely creative in figuring out ways to get out of work. 😀😁😂
It took all of my energy to try to keep ahead of you guys!
You do know the five most dangerous things you can hear in the Army? (No doubt this applies to the AF as well)
1. The Private who says “This is the way we did it in basic.”
2. The Sergeant who says “Trust me on this Sir.”
3. The Lieutenant who says “Based on my experience...”
4. The Captain who says “I have a great idea!”
5. The Warrant who says “Hey! Watch what happens when I do this!!”
1
Know the basic characteristics of a limerick. While there are slight variations in this style of poetry, they all fall within the same rhythmic umbrella. A true limerick has five lines; the first, second, and fifth rhyme with each other, and the third and fourth rhyme with each other. In addition to rhyme, consider:
Number of syllables. The first, second and fifth lines should have eight or nine syllables, while the third and fourth lines should have five or six.
Meter. A limerick has a certain “rhythm” created by how the syllables are stressed.
Anapaestic meter - two short syllables are followed by a long (stressed) one (duh-duh-DUM, duh-duh-DUM).
Amphibrachic meter - a long (stressed) syllable is sandwiched between two short ones (duh-DUM-duh, duh-DUM-duh). Example: There was a young lady of Wantage
Lines can begin on two, one, or occasionally no unstressed beats. Some prefer to continue the rhythm across from one line to the next, especially when a sentence carries across lines, but this is not essential.
re:
In Texas they held a cool contest,
To see who could draw cartoons the best.
Two up to no good
were fragged where they stood.
Just chalk outlines, no need for an arrest.
If I may:
Down in Texas the contest was cool
It became quite a cartoonist duel
Muzzies up to no good
Would be fragged where they stood
Mess with Texans, YOU DIE, is the rule
Some good stuff here.
5.56mm
Of course, writing and posting Limericks late at night, after consuming copious amounts of “adult beverages”, leads inevitably to miscounted syllables, sloppy rhymes, and the inability to follow any sort of compositional discipline. However, the intended result was folks having fun, so I count it as “mission accomplished”.
Like your edit, by the way. :-)
:)
A prophet, in need of defending,
An idjit from Phoenix descending,
With drum mags he rolled,
But then over he bowled,
When a traffic cop his life was ending.
Two jihadies inspired by Osama
Encouraged by Libs like Obama
Headed to Texas to kill a tough talking Mama
But instead received severe head trauma
From a traffic cop wearing boots by Tony Lama
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