Posted on 04/18/2015 6:55:21 PM PDT by MNDude
Not my embarrassing story but...when I was in the National Guard, we were having a ceremony and there were hundreds if not thousands of service members from across the state.
This general was handing out awards and I whispered to this guy next to me “Brown! They just said your name! Get up there!” He ran up to the stage to shake hands with the general. Just as his hand was reaching for the confused general’s he realizes he’d been had.
He turned around with a stunned look at me and friends laughing. He then quickly slinked off the stage.
I had something similar happen except I knew immediately when my pants split. I immediately sat down and phoned my wife. She brought a new pair of pants.
My secretary lent me her coat which I tied around my waist as I walked out to the hall to meet Ann.
Looking back on it, there was really nothing showing unless one looked and then only a slight white line where they split. I would have just walked out to meet Ann and go into the rest room to change.
Ann was a good seamstress and she let them out a little and I kept wearing them.
Voted for Perot in 1992.
While having dinner with my girlfriend’s family her mom asked me, “Is that a hickey on your neck?” To which I replied, “No. I don’t have any hickeys.” Then my girlfriend said, “I have one on my chest.” That was followed by extreme silence and a hard stare from her mom. Fortunately for me her dad was half deaf.
He came very close to having my elbow connect with a delicate part of his anatomy.
Happily I recognized him and pulled my blow and he jumped back a little.
He decided that surprising me like that was not a good idea.
Oh gosh, don’t remind me of that.
I’m also one of the voters who gave us Clinton in 1992.
-JT
As long as my Wife doesn’t have it carved into my Tombstone, I might get over it.
Maybe we can both redeem ourselves, in the next election :-)
-JT
I’ve been trying to redeem myself for the last 22 Years.
The older I get, the less time I have for meaningful lasting Redemption.
That being said, we both keep plugging along. LOL
Our crazy aunt was going to vote for Perot. We locked her in the basement.
NO! :-)
I played Taps for a high school reunion (Elvis’ class, in Memphis) and flubbed the last high note.
My doctor gave me new medication which had a very bad side effect.It caused me to have explosive diarhea without warning.I had driven 2 blocks to the post office to get my mail,jumped back in my car to go home when it hit.It literally filled my pants and ran down both legs.I got home ad my 2 dogs ran up to me happily to see me.They got to within 5 feet of me when the smell hit them.Both dogs stopped running and looked at me with the strangest expression on thier faces and wouldnt come any closer.I undressed in the shower,showering both myself and my clothes before throwing them in the washer.I stopped taking the medication immediatly and made a drs appt for the next day.
That’s hilarious!
Did the cops buy it ?
In the early 80’s I took a shopping trip to the local hardware store on a Sunday morning with my 3-4 year old daughter.
Whilst I was talking to the clerk at the counter I heard my young daughter yelling “ Daddy there isn’t any toilet paper” I turned around to see her, pants down around her ankles, sitting on a display toilet”.
I had to apologise profusely to the clerk as I hurriedly left the store with my daughter still complaining she didn’t wipe her bum.
You kept your pants and drawers after that ? It’s almost impossible to get out rectal chocolate stains.
Perot was right.
Just saying...
I was working in a newspaper printing plant. The paper cam on big rolls that weighted 800-900 pounds. Part of my job was to mount each roll onto a steel shaft for installation into the press. Usually the other pressmen moved the rolls to the presses and installed them. Once, early on in my tenure, I took a shafted roll to one of the presses myself and attempted to install it. Encountering difficulty, I called out:
"Hey, can one of you guys give me a hand? I can't get it up by myself."
Somebody else:
I was a Sergeant in the Army and was supervising some troops in the motor pool. It was a nice day and one of the guys (all big manly men!) was whistling a pleasant tune that I found familiar but couldn't quite place. He got to the chorus and began singing...
"You make me feel...
"You make me feel...
"You make me feel like a..."
He stopped suddenly and looked around sheepishly...and I said "We all know what's next, you might as well finish it."
He declined...
Haha! You ever remind her of that story still these days?
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