Posted on 04/17/2015 4:53:57 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o
One of music artist John Mayer's signature songs is “Daughters,” a sweet and simple tribute to the importance of parents' influence on their little girls. Here's the refrain:
“So fathers, be good to your daughters, Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers, So mothers, be good to your daughters too.”
But when John Mayer isn't crooning about your beautiful daughters, he's looking at naked pictures of them, sometimes hundreds at a time before he gets out of bed in the morning. In fact, he often prefers that to an actual human being, according to his wildly controversial 2010 interview with Playboy magazine.
“You wake up in the morning, open a thumbnail page, and it leads to a Pandora's box of visuals. There have probably been days when I saw 300 (naked women) before I got out of bed,” he told the magazine.
Unfortunately, Mayer's morning routine is not unique to him. Studies show that easy access to free internet pornography is having devastating effects on real-life relationships.
Preferring pixels to people
“For many individuals, the more porn they consume, the more likely it is that they can end up preferring the fantasy to reality, they can end up preferring the pixels to a person, and that's really messing up relationships, as you can imagine,” said Clay Olsen, co-founder of the internet movement “Fight the New Drug” (FTND).
The FTND movement, so named because of porn's addictive properties, aims to raise awareness of the harmful effects of pornography through creative mediums such as blogs, videos and infographics. The website includes personal stories as well as scientific studies to illustrate pornography's effects on the brain, the heart (relationships), and ultimately on the world.
“Our goal is to change the conversation from 'Dude, check this out,' to 'Dude, that's messed up,'” Olsen told CNA.
The longstanding, pervasive cultural narrative surrounding pornography is that it is a healthy sexual outlet and can improve sex lives. However, science begs to differ. Several studies cited in FTND's article, “Porn Ruins Your Sex Life,” found that pornography not only leads to dissatisfying sex, it can lead to less sex with actual human beings.
In a series of studies examining pornography use, “The Social Costs of Pornography: A Collection of Papers” published by the Witherspoon Institute, researchers found that those who viewed pornography became less satisfied with their sex lives, and that viewing porn just once can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction towards a human partner.
According to an article in Psychology Today by clinical psychologist Tyger Latham, Psy.D, erectile dysfunction, while once considered an issue plaguing old men, is cropping up more in young men who rely heavily on pornography to become sexually aroused. A study by the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine surveyed 28,000 men on their internet porn habits, and found that porn use over time led to a lower sex drive and an eventual inability to become aroused at all.
“As soon as they try to actually get close to someone and commit to somebody and have an intimate relationship with somebody, it's in those moments that the harms of pornography show their full colors and truly manifest themselves,” Olsen said. “The unrealistic expectations are completely exposed…
And we now see people in their 20s having porn-induced erectile dysfunction because they cannot get excited or aroused without the presence of pornography.”
A decline in marriage rates
Not only is pornography use destroying the physical sexual life, it may be impacting the number of people pursuing marriage or committed sexual relationships.
In the fall of 2013, an article in The Guardian sounded the alarm that fewer people in Japan were having sex, citing as evidence numerous statistics on the country's declining birth rate, marriage rate, and even rates of young people who are dating or who are interested in dating.
A follow-up article on Slate found that while the actual number of people having or not having sex might not be definitively pinpointed, the statistics on falling marriage and birth rates only mean Japan is leading a world-wide trend, rather than bucking one. While it's not clear whether porn is directly influencing these numbers, many have speculated that it is.
Researchers with The Institute for the Study of Labor (IZA) in Germany found an increase in free Internet pornography is at least correlated with a significant decrease in the percentage of young married men, and it may even be contributing to the trend. A 2013 Pew study found that 71 percent of single Americans were not looking for a committed relationship. Another study found that nearly 40 percent of American women had never been married.
“The results in this paper suggest that such an association exists, and that it is potentially quite large,” the study notes, as reported in the Washington Post.
The study used General Social Survey (GSS), a comprehensive, nationally representative survey which analyzed internet use of 1,500 men ages 18-to-35, between the years 2000 and 2004. The researchers studied the number of hours spent on the internet per week, how often internet pornography was used in the past 30 days, as well as other activities such as use of religious sites.
Even when adjusted for variables such as age, income, education, religion and employment, the study found that generally, the more a person used the internet, the less likely they were to be married. Additionally, it found that the more a person used internet pornography, the less likely they were to be married. On the other hand, the use of religious websites was positively correlated with marriage.
Mark Regnerus, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin and a Catholic who has studied religion and sexual behavior, cautioned against assuming that correlation equals causation in such studies – but said that pornography use is likely part of a more complex reason for dropping marriage rates.
“We know that both things are occurring, but it's difficult to establish a causal connection,” he told CNA in an e-mail interview. “A variety of things are contributing to the declining marriage rate.”
“I don't think porn use necessarily causes that, but contributes to it (together with diminished earnings power, diminished confidence, etc.),” he added. “To be sure, porn use doesn't help build confidence in men, something that's pretty necessary (but not sufficient) to be considered marriageable. So I'd say porn use is a suspect here, but connecting the dots is hardly straightforward.”
Increasing awareness
Only in the past few years and months has a conversation countering the “it's healthy, it's normal” narrative been emerging in mainstream media about pornography. Several celebrities are speaking up, and there are an increasing number of websites dedicated to helping people fight pornography addictions.
A few months ago, the release of the controversial “50 Shades of Grey” movie sparked a conversation on social media about sexual violence against women in media, with the hashtag #50dollarsnot50shades encouraging people to forgo the movie and instead donate to places that help victimized women.
The movie sparked a response from an unlikely source – British comedian Russel Brand, whose short video about the problems with pornography went viral, generating over 500,000 views on his YouTube channel and over 2 million views on FTND's website.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is another celebrity who has been outspoken about the negative impact of pornography, most notably in his 2013 movie “Don Jon,” which he wrote, directed and co-starred in along with Scarlett Johansson. The film explores the unrealistic expectations of love and relationships that come from pornography addictions and from the media at large.
“I think that there's not a substantial difference between a lot of main-stream culture and pornography. They're equally simplistic, reductionist,” Gordon-Levitt said in an interview with NPR about the film.
“Whether it's rated X or 'approved by the FCC for general viewing audiences,' the message is the same. We have a tendency in our culture to take people and treat them like things.”
But the internet has been around for decades now – why has it taken society so long to catch on to the fact that pornography is harmful?
“Science has caught up with the fact that pornography's harmful,” Olsen said, “but society is still catching up.”
It often takes years for something that was once culturally accepted as true to be flipped on its head as science proves otherwise, Olsen said, so Fight the New Drug knows they still have a lot of work ahead of them.
“We're very excited to see some of this progress and some of these mainstream media outlets kind of following suit and starting to talk about the negative impacts, we couldn't be more excited about it, but we still have a long way ahead of us.”
Some other websites that are also trying to raise awareness and give help to those struggling with pornography include The Porn Effect and Covenant Eyes, and internet filtering and accountability system.
The best way to kick a porn habit? Keep fighting it and lean on the sacraments, Regnerus said.
“(My) advice: don't give up hope; pursue confession regularly; recognize and avoid the contexts which give rise to temptation. That's a start.”
Class, discuss.
Gross.
Jesus suffered the Scourging precisely for sins of the flesh.
There is no such problem in this house says the mother of five and expectant mother of one more!
Ehh....it’s a problem, but WHY are guys preferring porn to women..?
It’s NOT just divorce, or employment.
The whole “no means no” campgain means some guys are AFRAID of the potential legal consequences of NORMAL FLIRTING.
Even if you haven’t been sued or fired for trying to get a date with a woman, almost all guys have heard of such stories:
Who wants THAT..?
It used to be that MOST people who ended up getting married met their partner at work, but now it’s VERY common for guys to resolve to NEVER date or even flirt with ANY woman at their company.
After some generations, this really begins to take a toll.
Another place where young people meet is at college, yet more and more that’s ground-zero for false accusations of rape, virtual rape, etc, etc, etc.
No porn will get you fired, no porn will accuse you of rape, no porn will accuse you of sexual harassment or “causing an atmosphere that comprimises productivity or learning”.
Feminism has won, and now there is no romance.
And there are no kids (other than Mexican ones).
Porn is addictive and habit forming. And another thing for sure, it is bad for you, and leads you into unnatural behavior. I can’t think of a worse way of preparing yourself to lead a normal sexual life in marriage, or to advise your children what to do when they grow up.
Another nail in the coffin. Not just America but the whole of Western Civilization.
Drugs, porn, crime, commies...
Porn is once again taking the fall for the fruit of feminism.
Only Russia seems to understand the demographic crisis the world is becoming mired in, and is doing something to protect themselves.
Yes, as the left lies all the time.
Porn is harmless.
Fathers aren’t necessary.
Jobs are enslaving.
Government schools are best.
Abortion doesn’t kill a person.
Drugs expand your mind.
Marriage is optional.
All lies of the 1960s and 1970s that have proven to, if believed and followed on a societal level, denigrates a nation.
Class, discuss.
Oh ooooo..
In the beginning ..
Man’s proclivity to spreading his seed is nothing new.
Somesay it is genetic.
I’m not so sure..
But I’m a man.
What do I know?
A rabbi told me an essential ingredient of long-term female happiness is some sense that SOMEhow she’s submitting to a man.
That makes sense if we consider that many women won’t hit on men, and women who aren’t hit upon somehow might not find a partner.
What if SOME FORCE inhibits almost ALL men from pursuing women?
If taking the partner approach initiative befell women and they all did succeed in getting men, would they nonethless feel happy, without having submitted to the advances of men..?
I think no.
Guys would not only get creeped out, but many women would later resent having to make the first move.
Men are turning to porn to avoid nasty legal and professional consequences, and both men and women will suffer the attendant negative consequences.
Damn you Al Gore for inventing the internet!
;-)
Silver lining?
Because porn caters to fantasy and not real-life women.
Porn actresses, who all happen to have a perfect body, will let herself be demeaned and act like she likes it. She is there only for him to be pleasured, not her (again, where the "acting" part comes in).
Men start thinking that's what women like, that's what sex is ... and when they have a real woman in their bed she will fall short in his eyes.
Porn rots the soul it’s as bad as drug and or acholosizm
It seems to me that if you see something for long periods of time each day, for instance naked women, there will come a time when that thing becomes mundane and no longer has much effect if any on a person. Basically, that thing is not exciting any longer.
“Feminism has won, and now there is no romance.”
Because ugly girls couldn’t get it, no one should get it.
It is a problem. I can see it. Admittedly, I did look at pornography, but once I consciously kicked the habit, turned to the Lord more and prayed, my sex life with my wife increased exponentially!! I kid you not! And it’s not sex, it’s this greater intimacy that I thought we had lost from our early days. Married 20 years this August. God bless my wife, and God help our poor young men and women and what they have to suffer with in this depraved society.
Well, there’s a difference, though, between spreading your seed into the intimate fertile recesses of a beloved woman, and spreading your seed who-knows-where (don’t tell me, gross, I don’t want to know) while watching a video vixen who is false and impossible in every sense.
Having some men exit the gene pool by not reproducing, or at least having fewer offspring isn’t completely bad.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.