Posted on 03/12/2015 7:37:26 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
I saw this headline at Newsalert from a CNS News article and went over to read it:
(CNSNews.com) – Seventy percent of American males between the ages of 20 and 34 are not married, and many live in a state of “perpetual adolescence” with ominous consequences for the nation’s future, says Janice Shaw Crouse, author of “Marriage Matters.”
“Far too many young men have failed to make a normal progression into adult roles of responsibility and self-sufficiency, roles generally associated with marriage and fatherhood,” Crouse, the former executive director of the Beverly LaHaye Institute, wrote in a recent Washington Times oped.
The high percentage of bachelors means bleak prospects for millions of young women who dream about a wedding day that may never come. “It’s very, very depressing,” Crouse told CNSNews.com.
It seems that Crouse and her crowd are watching too many Say Yes to the Dress episodes. So what matters is that women’s dreams are shattered? What about the bleak prospects for millions of men across the country who get very little legal or psychological protection from marriage? Now that’s what’s very, very depressing. Change that and maybe more men will be interested.
Excellent!
There are no girly men on FR. :)
I think there is a tendency today to squeeze out God and try to make other relationships fit into His spot, and that just won’t work, it’s idolatry, sin, and can only lead to misery for all parties concerned.
Take care, and have a good evening :)
Just another bunch of reasons why God hates divorce. Trying to fix what's broke enough for the kids is exponentially more difficult than making better choices based on better criteria from the start. People need preparation for marriage from their parents and churches. Marriage courses used to be taught in colleges, but obviously that is absolutely impossible today except perhaps in small Christian or Jewish colleges.
Nice.
What a nice guy-—I hope his sons appreciated it,although with a nice Dad like that I’m sure they had great values.
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That does sound awful; but not knowing what he makes, what she makes, how many kids there are, how much the mortgage is and who was granted the house, cars, etc., alimony numbers don’t really indicate much.
What is true is that divorce is a very high price to pay for poor relationship skills going in. Today’s young people just get involved, have sex, maybe even have a kid, live together without the benefit of extended family relations nearby, cross over to other religions and ethnicities, and make it mostly about emotions, sex and common interests instead of the deeper principles and commitments. They don’t have respect for one another and don’t know how to fight or solve problems without going to the cursewords, drama and passive aggression. They meet lots of other attractive people at work, unlike the days when we had to labor hard all day on farms just to eat. And then they wonder what happened, and start to scapegoat one another when things go bad, as they inevitably will in a tragic number of cases.
Much of this disorder is caused by the illusion that birth control and abortion allow both sexes to engage in sexual intercourse without a marriage commitment. That sets the bar very low from the jump. And it keeps the intimacy on that recreational level, which soon disappears when trouble comes.
Impossible to say without a reputable quantitative study. It also goes against nature, where women make the larger investment in childbearing in the early years of a marriage. Unless we had specific studies, neither of us can declare, "Well, this is just the way it is." If you look back, none of my posts engage in that. I say what can happen, how things are not black and white or always true of one sex or the other, but freepers tend to read into a post what they want to see rather than what is there.
I am sorry for your situation, truly. The one who cares the most and does the most in a marriage is almost always the one who hurts the most in a divorce, whether male or female. Peace be with you.
“Sorry about your divorce.”
I am not divorced. Just aware.
Totally agree. Have a good evening yourself.
Actually, one of them has turned out fine. Friends always thought he would be the ne'er-do-well, but he found a good woman who straightened him out and they are a great couple with great kids and grandkids. The older brother who had all the outstanding talents and drive started out great but went completely off the rails during the height of the Sex, Drugs and Rock'n'Roll era, and died in his mid-40s. Tragic. His early life was badly affected by his mother's drinking and his father's absences while the dad was on the road building the business that he hoped his sons would take over, but neither did. The old man was a hard-ass, stern Christian and many respected him a lot. But no parent is guaranteed a good outcome.
If you have no dog in the fight, you certainly went to the wall insulting my take on the situation (”ridiculous”, “absurd”, etc), which if you reread my post, did not imply the absoluteness you infer; but rather offered other scenarios without declaring them to be an absolute norm, as many of the embittered divorced persons on this thread have been doing.
I’ve done a great deal of research on the topic and am more than aware that no one’s individual situation is applicable to all. Yet many of the discouraged persons on here are commiserating hopelessly and in agreement that it is all the fault of the opposite sex. That is sad for them going forward. Both parties need to learn from the experience, for the sake of their kids, so that they don’t pass on bitterness and hopelessness to them. Passivity and lack of accountability in relationships leads to breakdown as surely as active abuse.
I’m 45 and on marriage #2. I said the first time not to do it again. I think my generation has it programmed into us to pair mate.
Now if #2 doesn’t work im going gault. No wife no gf. My kids are adults. My parents are older but not old. I can just opt out and will.
If I was 20 knowing what I know now, I just don’t know what I would do. Kids are a blessing, add purpose and anchor us to reality. I love mine with a full heart. But, if clean slate starting today, I might just lay low.
Stay free
Btw: no one needs to say a word about #1. It’s a sore spot and not my fault. Some times you can’t drown with them.
“But no parent is guaranteed a good outcome.”
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Profound statement, and the opposite also applies.
I saw kids that I felt would never make it because of disengaged parents but they did quite well.
We do our best....and keep our fingers crossed.:-)
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“The fact that more women initiate divorce than men indicates little.”
That isn’t true at all, and is probably the primary reason men couldn’t be bothered with marriage anymore.
That isn’t true at all, and is probably the primary reason men couldn’t be bothered with marriage anymore.
Given that more men than women are unfaithful, might this factor explain women's greater rate of divorce initiation?
No, you will not be able to dig up an ‘abuse of a woman by a judge for every abuse of a man’
You courts are extremely biased in favor of women. EXTREMELY.
Men getting custody of their children is in the SINGLE DIGITS.
Clarence Brandley was jailed for ten years for the rape and murde of a high school girl ( he was a janitor at the school). When the DNA evidence was finally run, he was EXHONERATED.
What did the State of Texas fo next? They pursued him as a deadbeat dad for the next twelve years - for kids that were grown and gone. For ‘support’ that built up while he was in JAIL.
You simply have NO COMPREHENSION as to how horribly men have been treated.
Bkmk
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