Posted on 12/15/2014 12:00:49 PM PST by Citizen Zed
Melbourne's world champion pizza maker Johnny Di Francesco has made a pizza with 99 cheeses. It's the stuff of bratty eight-year-old Kevin McCallister's dreams - a beautiful cheese pizza complete with 99 cheeses.
Unlike the Home Alone character, the latest pizza wonder is expected to feed more than one when Melbourne pizza supremo Johnny Di Francesco puts his creative talents to the fore.
The super chef has blended 94 cheeses and cooked them off to create one flavoursome super cheese, then adds another five fresh cheeses to his new pizza before and after it is wood-fired.
(Excerpt) Read more at au.news.yahoo.com ...
Why not use the proper cheese? A nice fresh mozzarella.
Lou Malnati’s is the very best pizza in the World. More pizza than crust!
Vic, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
99 Cheeses? I hope Toe Cheese is not one of them!
I thought this said 99 cent cheese pizza
Close - it’s a “99 scent pizza”.
Venezuelan beaver cheese?
I’ve got 99 cheeses and Velveeta isn’t one.
I’m sorry, we’re all out of it.
Nobody expects the...........................................................................cheese shop sketch!
Are you deliberately wasting my time?
or Fummunnda Cheese...
Wow, that will bind you up!
CC
Is that the one in NYC that still uses a wood fired stove?
CC
Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of Red Leicester, sir.
Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?
Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.
C: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.
O: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.
C: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?
O: Sorry, sir.
C: Red Windsor?
O: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.
C: Ah. Stilton?
O: Sorry.
C: Gruyere? Emmental?
O: No.
C: Any Norwegian Jarlsberger, per chance?
O: No.
C: Liptauer?
O: No.
C: Lancashire?
O: No.
C: White Stilton?
O: No.
C: Danish Blue?
O: No.
C: Double Gloucester?
O: (pause) No.
C: Cheshire?
O: No.
C: Dorset Blue Vinney?
O: No.
C: Brie, Roquefort, Pont-l'Eveque, Port Salut, Savoyard, Saint-Paulin, Carre-de-L'Est, Boursin, Bresse Bleu, Perle de Champagne?
O: No.
C: Camembert, perhaps?
O: Ah! We have Camembert, yessir.
C: (suprised) You do! Excellent.
O: Yessir. It's ah... it's a bit runny.
C: Oh, I like it runny.
O: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.
C: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!
O: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
C: I don't care how bloody runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
O: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause)
C: What now?
C: (pause) Has he?
O: She, sir.
(pause)
C: Gouda?
O: No.
C: Edam?
O: No.
C: Caithness?
O: No.
C: Smoked Austrian?
O: No.
C: Japanese Sage Darby?
O: No sir.
C: You... do have some cheese, don't you?
O: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got-
C: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
O: Fair enough.
C: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.
O: Yes?
C: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!
O: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.
(pause)
C: Greek Feta?
O: Uh, not as such.
C: Uuh, Gorgonzola?
O: No
C: Parmesan?
O: No
C: Mozzarella?
O: No
C: Pippo Creme?
O: No
C: Danish Fimboe?
O: No
C: Czech sheep's milk?
O: No
C: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
O: Not -today-, sir, no.
(pause)
C: Aah, how about Cheddar?
O: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.
C: Not much ca--It's the single most popular cheese in the world!
O: Not 'round here, sir.
C: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?
O: 'Illchester, sir.
C: IS it.
O: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manusquire.
C: Is it.
O: It's our number one best seller, sir!
C: I see. Uuh... 'Illchester, eh?
O: Right, sir.
C: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' He asked, expecting the answer 'no'.
O: I'll have a look, sir.. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
C: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
O: Finest in the district sir!
C: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
O: Well, it's so clean, sir!
C: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
O: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.
C: Would it be worth it?
O: Could be.
C: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI OFF!
O: Told you sir...
C: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?
O: No.
C: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:
O: Yessir?
C: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all?
O: Yes,sir.
C: Really?
(pause)
O: No. Not really, sir.
C: You haven't.
O: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir.
C:Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
O: Right-0, sir.
(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the shopkeeper)
C: What a senseless waste of human life.
bump
bathtub cheese
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