Posted on 09/17/2014 5:27:23 PM PDT by SeekAndFind
A husband's happiness is significantly related to how his wife feels about the union, according to researchers at Rutgers University and the University of Michigan, who say the happier the wife is with the marriage, the more content her husband will be with life in general.
"I think it comes down to the fact that when a wife is satisfied with the marriage she tends to do a lot more for her husband, which has a positive effect on his life," noted Deborah Carr, a professor in the Department of Sociology, School of Arts and Science at RU. "Men tend to be less vocal about their relationships and their level of marital unhappiness might not be translated to their wives."
The team analyzed data from 394 couples involved in a larger-scale study on health and income who had been married 39 years on average, in which at least one of the spouses was over 60 years of age.
They were asked questions about their interaction as a couple: How much they argued, how much they understood each other and whether they felt appreciated by their spouse. Next, each couple was assigned to perform typical couple activities like watching TV or going shopping together and record their emotions in diaries for 24 hours.
Average ratings for life satisfaction in general were high, with husbands showing slightly more enthusiasm for their marriages than the wives.
"For both spouses being in a better-rated marriage was linked to greater life satisfaction and happiness," says Carr.
(Excerpt) Read more at ph.she.yahoo.com ...
RE: Next question: how to make her happy?
If she’s chronically obsessed & upset with everything that could conceivably be done (and done better), there’s not a damn thing he can do to get her to that state.
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“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” - Abraham Lincoln ( a man whose wife could fit the above description )
LOL, I was very mad at my husband today and was going to tell him so when I got home but he had already done what I wanted him to do. Yea, I know, it took six months for him to do it but he just seems to know without me saying a word that my patience has come to an end.
Now if he’ll install the faucet I bought the day after the Super Bowl....
There’s an old saying;
“You’ve got to live loving
If you want to love living.”
“Yep, but when a woman is unhappy, everyone is damned well going to be unhappy.”
Reminds me of this old “joke”:
Why do husbands die first?
Answer: Because they want to.
And the marriage counselor asked the redneck about his marital discord...
Is she a nagger?
Responding indignantly... No she is a little bitty white woman about this tall...
I think it’s not really a matter of men vs. women, I think it’s a matter of so many people giving into societal or family pressure and getting married to the wrong person just because they think they should. And this tends to color your perspective of the opposite sex. I knew lots of terrific girls and women before and after my divorce. I just ended up with the wrong one through a weird twist of fate, I suppose.
I’ve often said that there are two kinds of married men, “good” husbands, and happy husbands.
When I got married 42 years ago my mom said that if I wanted to keep my wife, always make her happy.
I found that is true. Still married after 42 years.
If momma ain’t happy, no one is happy.
If papa ain’t happy, who cares!
Oh I remember that song from 1961!
Decades ago I invented a small box with a single button that said “Yes, Dear” whenever the button was pressed. This product was aimed at the “husband” market, and it was advertised as the perfect solution to proving that you REALLY WERE listening, as well as always giving the correct answer with no possibly of making a mistake. I called it the “Yes Dear Box”.
I’m lucky he even puts up with me. I am a handful and I know it.
I gave up on that years ago. I am one of those women that if I want something done, after a certain time of waiting, would just do it myself. I have mowed lawns, put in new faucets, etc. I finally figured out that he figured out that if he waited long enough I’d get mad and just do it myself. Now I hire EVERYTHING done. I have a handyman. I tell Hubby _______is coming tomorrow to fix_______. I also have a gardener and a housekeeper. I figured if he didn’t have to mow lawns I don’t have to clean house.
Now we don’t fight about getting stuff done. Lol
I don’t understand the concept of ‘getting married to the wrong person because they think they should’. In our society no one can make you marry someone.
Perhaps people are too quick to get married. Perhaps they ignore faults they should have payed attention to. Dating/courtship is the fun time and marriage is the real time, when you are dealing with everyday problems.
You can’t change people, but people can change themselves. It’s a choice only they can make.
I hope you find, or have found someone who makes you happy!
“and that is a huge fault of women.
center of the universe, they are not. they think they are the only ones who don’t have everything the way they want it?”
In our house, I end up getting control of most matters because I’m the one who takes everyone’s feelings into consideration.
Perfect example: When hubs has the remote, he watches what he wants to watch and doesn’t care at all if its something that I’d be interested.
When I have the remote, I take the time to consult with him, automatically eliminate shows that I know he hates (even if I love them), and work to find a compromise so that we can both have an enjoyable evening.
So, yeah. For the most part, I now control the remote and we’re both alright with that.
Some women are never going to be happy.
The MAN Song!
You have a good system going.
My wife had an endless to do list of things to be done around the house, and used to bitch about things constantly. Weekends were hell. We had to go to Home Depot and get this and that for the house or the yard. I did lots of cleaning house and chores, laundry, etc. But no matter what I did it was never enough or done well enough
to suit her.
Bottom line I could seldom come home and relax in my own house. There was always some task or chore to be done.
I am gun shy about getting married again due to this. Marriage and living together changes the dynamic, the interaction. I like female companionship, but, am reluctant to get that companionship through marriage. I do have a woman in my life now, but, she lives in her house and I live in mine. Suits me.
I just figured out if I want something done I have to do it myself or hire it done. We are lucky that we can afford to hire it done.
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