“I once shot a porch.
Got away with it, too!”
When I was a kid this guy asked me if I’d paint his porch for $20. I said heck yes. So I painted it. Then he got all mad when I told him, “You know that porch? It says Lamborghini on the front and back.”
“I also tried to paint your Beemer, but when I held up the paint brush, he stopped gardening and ran off.”
“Then I tried to paint your daughter’s Audi, until I found out that she had an innie.”