"..., wish I had a dollar for each time this clown was called Muskrat"
Posted on 12/26/2013 6:36:28 AM PST by Uncle Chip
A Boca Raton man tried to sneak his girlfriend into the halfway house he was staying at by stuffing her into a duffel bag, like that tiny Chinese dude in the Ocean Eleven movies.
The man, Jared Mustrat, had been staying at the Boca House, a sober-living halfway house for men.
Per the rules, Boca House does not allow overnight guests.
But Mustrat was missing his lady and was in need of her company. So he stuffed her inside a bag to try to get her in.
But according to a Boca Raton Police report, Mustrat's plan was foiled when someone noticed his lady's arm pop out of the bag when the two were in a Walgreen's parking lot along SW Second Avenue.
The tipster noticed Mustrat hunched over the bag. He then began talking to it and, as he was loading it into Volkswagen, a woman's arm popped out of the bag. Mustrat pushed the arm back into the duffel bag and loaded up the car with his girlfriend luggage.
This prompted the tipster to call police.
Boca Raton police eventually caught up with Mustrat, who admitted that he indeed stuffed his lady, Jessica Tosi, into a bag so he could sneak her into the halfway house.
According to the report, Tossi told police she got into the bag voluntarily.
Neither Mustrat nor Tossi was arrested, since stuffing a person into a duffel bag is illegal only if they're dead. So, they were free to go.
(Excerpt) Read more at blogs.browardpalmbeach.com ...
No doubt discussing weight loss programs.
/johnny
let me guess...he got halfway
Must have scared the crap out of that person.
"..., wish I had a dollar for each time this clown was called Muskrat"
“halfway house” = you can stay as long as you don’t spend the night with a member of the other half.
“Nice Day for a White Wedding” (So says Billy Idol)
Mustrat Love.
Is being alone really that bad?
These are the same kind of people who would tell us being poor is a result of their "bad luck".
Sometimes. As Al Green says:
I'm so tired of being aloneThere are times I can relate. But I'd never stuff anybody in a bag! :-)
I'm so tired of on-my-own
Won't you help me girl
Just as soon as you can
“Stick me in a halfway house? Ha! I’m going to make this an ‘all the way’ house!”
Sounds like he was in for a bit of get lucky...
Sounds like the scenario of a Three Stooges or Laurel & Hardy short!!!
I can see him dumping the bag out the 2nd story window when the landlord comes pounding at the door! D’ohhhhhhhhHHHH!!!!!
I would think that stuffing a person into a duffel bag would also be illegal if the person did not consent to being stuffed in a duffel bag.
In fact, it seems odd that a dead person cannot be placed in a duffel bag. It seems like a reasonable way to carry a dead body to where you need to get to.
I'll have to remember this if I am ever in the wilderness with a duffel bag and someone in our party dies -- no stuffing the dead body into the duffel bag.
Next time he should use a large trunk, like normal people.
Sounds like he also had plans to stuff her in other places besides a duffel bag. Didn’t work out. Too bad.
Many addicts tend to be brilliant people - if only because they need to be to live with their addictions in the real world. If this guy had used his powers for good, he could have gone a long way in the legitimate world.
Secondly, I wonder if his girlfriend was a meth addict, some of those bags of bones don’t seem to weigh more than 80 pounds if they are soaking wet.
I MARRIED A CONTORTIONIST
It could have been worse, a two bagger.
Good to know...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.