Posted on 08/18/2012 10:26:18 PM PDT by bicyclerepair
Hi FRiends, Boy do I need someone to talk to.
Just came back from dropping off my daughter at college and the empty house is making me cry so much.
Been a member since 2004. This is my first post. So sorry but I can't stop feeling sad and hurting inside because I miss her so much.
I respect you all so much and value your comments. Some are harsh, but most are honest and decent. So maybe I can drown my heart-ache reading your thoughts.
Sincerely, bicyclerepair--Ft. Lauderdale
it’s all a part of life ... you have done your job ... you’ve instilled in her a sense of being, a set of morals, taught her right from wrong, educated her - and now she has the opportunity to define herself, of herself and by herself. Hopefully she will see the horrors that happen to other young women who reject the lessons you have tried to teach her.
Not that long ago - you were in the situation she is in now.
But, no matter what happens, no matter what mistakes she makes, no matter what wrong decisions she makes ... she will always be your daughter.
UCF = Univ. of Central FL (circa 1963), supposed to be the 2nd largest college in America. It’s in Orlando.
Look at the bright side. If it were your son he’d have probably not been accepted. GIRL POWER!
Check out the Red Bus. I've never taken it but it looks pretty cool for crisscrossing the state. Prices seem pretty reasonable too.
Everything is relative. THANK YOU for pointing that out!!!
And you have my sincerest condolences my FRiend.
It is natural to cry tears when you miss someone you love. So cry as much as you like and don’t worry about what anyone thinks! You are joining the ranks of countless moms who cried buckets of tears after sending their child off to school or out into the world.
I can promise it DOES get easier. You may miss her every day presence, but you will soak up and cherish the moments when she comes home.
One of the ways I keep in contact with my daughter at college is through text messages. She has used the unlimited texting frequently and at all hours of the night! I always enjoy hearing the sound my phone makes when I get one of her texts. It does my heart good to know she wants to tell me something and is willing to share what is going on in her life.
Trust in the Lord to ease the pain of separation for you both and be proud that you have raised her to handle this new adventure.
I still have letters from my folks from my college days.
The other thing is the occasional 'care package'. It was a red letter day when I'd get cookies from home, a jar of home made jelly/jam, packed in plastic bags full of popcorn (the real stuff) inside a box. Never had a shortage of friends to help eat the contents, either! (8^D)
Use your imagination, and if stumped, pray for inspiration. It can be busy there, letters back may not be as frequent as letters going there (so don't take that personally), but know every tangible display of your love and support will be welcome.
So dry your eyes and start plotting goodies to send.
God Bless.
Thank you. The red bus is cheaper than gas.
Red Bus in Orlando has two terminals too. One is not too far from UCF, right near the airport
1777 MC COY Road Orlando, FL. 32809
Also they have 10% discounts for students, veterans and military!
since we are not known to each other I will say this
If, you did your best to raise her... then the sadness is but a temporary thing...
You, it appears have provided her with every advantage to succeed, (hence your longing to be with her) I would speculate that if you, were one of those "disposable parents" you would not have the emptiness of feelings.
Pray for her, lift her up daily. Keep yourself busy and don't dwell on your sadness, Keep doing the routine things.
If this is your only child then that makes it harder... but not insurmountable.
I have 3 that have left home, (one returned) but for medical reasons she would have fulfilled her goals and dreams.
The trite remarks from some show a stunning lack of maturity or lack of depth of feeling (or lack of children / disposable parents) do not consider them for a second.
This is a natural course of events... just go with it.
UCF is University of Central Florida and it’s in Orlando, FL.
You all are great therapy.
Your comments are well received.
Opened my eyes to see.
Perspective is conceived.
Remember something.
You’re the Dad.
Guys may come and go in her life, but you wil be the one constant rock she will have, other than Jesus.
This is the time you will do some of your best work as a parent.
First, pray for your daughter. For her roomate, her teachers, her friends. Everytime you think of her , pray for her. You are her spiritual covering—still. Your prayers for her are not constrained by time nor space.
A father’s prayer is one of the most powerful things a man can do.
Second,give your daughter room to be an adult. Don’t smother her.This is what you have been raising her for and training her for. This is real life—not a rehearsal.
Third, write to her. She will love to hear from you. I would suggest a regular letter, rather than email. Write about yourself, your love for her mom, what it means to be so proud of a daughter like her. Encourage her, and her dreams. Help her to see the big picture, so the little disappointments and discouragements don’t get her down.She will cherish your letters far more than you realize, and take them out and re-read them when she gets lonely or overwhelmed.
Fourth,look forward to break times when she will be home.
They will come soon enough, and be part of the new rythym of life for you and your family.
You are still a very important part of her life. You are still the Dad. You are still the spiritual umbrella for her.Relish the role.
God bless.
Not stupid at all. I understand totally. Even though you know you have to let her go it doesn’t make the pain any less real! It will get easier. Try to stay busy and not think about it is the best advice I could give.
I have a grown son that is a thousand miles away and I haven’t been able to see him in two years. I have days where all I do is cry but then for the most part I try to stay busy and not think about it. He and his family lived five minutes away for ten years and then moved. Just about broke my heart. I can certainly offer prayer for the pain and understanding for your feelings.
Not stupid at all. I understand totally. Even though you know you have to let her go it doesn’t make the pain any less real! It will get easier. Try to stay busy and not think about it is the best advice I could give.
I have a grown son that is a thousand miles away and I haven’t been able to see him in two years. I have days where all I do is cry but then for the most part I try to stay busy and not think about it. He and his family lived five minutes away for ten years and then moved. Just about broke my heart. I can certainly offer prayer for the pain and understanding for your feelings.
Sorry, honey! I will be there one day. It doesn’t even matter if you have more kids at home, it’s still heartbreaking as one phase of their / your life is over.
I so didn’t get it when they drove me to the dorms. I walked away excited without much of a backward glance, and was not understanding their heartache.
When I gave birth to my first child, I held his tiny body in the hospital and cried because one day he would leave home. We want to keep them forever in our arms, small, but then again, we want them to grow and have lives and families of their own.
It’s so hard when they do. You deserve to grieve the end of an era. Grieve, cry, mourn and then when it’s over, you will be through it and ready for the next chapter of your relationship. Kids love quick funny texts during their day, little unexpected gifts (food, money), this next phase can be ok. Don’t shut her out re relationships or anything, let her turn to you as someone she can trust. Remember, you don’t need to be too Hardass any more because she can do whatever she wants and you can’t stop her unless you somehow find out. So be a good voice in her ear. Help her.
It will all be good. You are her mother forever. Cry and mourn but be glad you are only mourning the end of an era -— some mothers are really mourning their kids. You did a good job. Take a bow.
Reading through these posts with all 4 of mine still at home, getting Teary eyed at this future event, and then I see your advice and just start cracking up through my tears:
AND FOR GOD’S SAKE DON’T LISTEN TO “CATS IN THE CRADLE”
Thanks, guys. I’m not up on college acronyms.
Whoops, correction, you are her dad. Same thing, though.
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