Dean Visits Baathists

Satire | 11/28/2003 | duuuude

[duuuude]

DEAN PAYS SURPRISE VISIT TO BAATHISTS IN IRAQ

By LAWRENCE E BURT, AP Political Correspondent BAGHDAD, Iraq - Howard Dean flew to Iraq under extraordinary secrecy and security Thursday to spend the end of Ramadan with former Baathists and thank them for "defending the Iraqi people from American Imperilaism." The unannounced visit brought wild cheers from battle-worn Hussein loyalists, stunned the nation and even surprised Dean's wife, Dr. Judith Steinberg, who had been expecting him at the Thanksgiving table at Dean's boyhood home on Park Avenue in Manhattan. Dean, the first presidential candidate to visit enemy combatants, promised that insurgents testing America's commitment will surely be rewarded with a U.S. retreat should Dean shock pundits and get elected president. "I feel your pain," Dean told the cheering members of the Iraqi Republican Guard, noting "if I had my way, you would still be in power." The diners had been told only that they were gathered for dinner with a VIP guest in the mess hall at Al-Aqalaba Mosque. "I know that Islam means peace," Dean told the grateful crowd, calling again for a more "even-handed" approach to Middle East policy. Dean's remarks were extremely well received. Imam Muhammmad Atta said "He will stand up to the Zionists imperialist Americans who oppose our jihad." Dean handed out food to the locals, though as a vegan he himself did not partake in the meal. Dean bought the crowd to its feet when he said "I would be happy to join your fight, but for this painful back condition which has even hampered my skiiing."

[MJY1288]

This is funny, but it's hardly breaking news, The MODS will correct it though

Welcome to Free Republic

[Keith in Iowa]

The good doctor went to give Saddam a physical...

[tet68]

Guess Kerry's little trip to Afghanistan isn't going to get front page news coverage after all.

[Mean Daddy]

You owe me a new keyboard, beer everywhere.

Bush b*tch slaps Hillary & Saddam.

[Stentor]

Very mean. Very funny. Very true.

[July 4th]

duuuude, you're gettin' kicked out of breaking news.

[Lancey Howard]

Good post.

Welcome.

[WinOne4TheGipper]

duuuude
Since Nov. 28, 2003

He bears wisdom from the future! Welcome to FR.

[Lead Moderator]

I might have left this in news, just moving it to Vanity or something, except you posted it to Breaking News.

So off to chat it goes.

And you posted it twice! Grrr.

[smith288]

[Lancey Howard]

Guess Kerry's little trip to Afghanistan isn't going to get front page news coverage after all.

Kerry's going to Afghanistan? John Kerry? What for?

[MJY1288]

Be easy on him, he's a rookie around here :-)

[WinOne4TheGipper]

See post 9.:-)

[mystery-ak]

Did you write this....good job and welcome to FR.

[swheats]

Funny stuff, Dean bought the crowd...we all wondered what he'd do with all that caaaash.

Somethin tells me with that sign up date duuuude's been around before.

[StriperSniper]

Good job, duuuude.

Did Sloth's Rush parody inspire you?

[PoisedWoman]

Nice work, duuuuude. You're off to an excellent start.

[blackie]

Good job duuuude ~ welcome to Free Republic!

[Starve The Beast]

Hey, don't give Dean too much credit on this. He says he's just showing solidarity, but let face it, he's talking to his major campaign contributers here. Just another sleazy politician pandering to his base....