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Ordering the Sampler Appetizer platter protects you from COVID
PatriotRetort.com ^ | July 17, 2020 | Dianny

Posted on 07/18/2020 2:12:47 PM PDT by CheshireTheCat

The air must be really thin up there on Dead Body Mountain. Governor “Boy I Really Nailed This Thing” Cuomo took some time out from his victory lap over having the highest per capita death rate in the country to issue yet another dictate. From here on out, restaurants must not serve alcohol to patrons unless said patrons also order food. Apparently a gin and tonic alone puts you at risk for COVID, but ordering the sampler appetizer platter along with that G&T renders you immune.

Governor “Didn’t I Do I Great Job” Cuomo believes drinking at an outdoor restaurant sans food leads to that high-risk behavior known as “sticking around too long.” Whereas drinking while enjoying the sampler appetizer platter will force people to hurry the hell up and leave.

I’m unclear if patrons will be required to order another sample appetizer platter every time they order an additional drink, or if just having the same plate of food at your table inoculates you from the threat of COVID.

Though, to be fair, restaurant owners are just as unclear about the latest proclamation from on high as I am.

I checked Governor “Dead Body Mountain’s” poster of praise to himself to see if there was a neat little cartoon depicting the food-to-drink ratio, and there was not.

Now, it’s been a while since I’ve gone out with friends to a restaurant mostly because I do not possess the disposable income necessary to eat out. But as I dimly recall, even with every person at the table ordering food, we still managed to hang out there for quite a while. Turns out, eating takes longer...

(Excerpt) Read more at patriotretort.com ...


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Government; Society
KEYWORDS:
I have heard of the Cuomo potato chips.

Bars should get popcorn makers and make Cuomo Corn and charge a quarter a dixie cupful.

1 posted on 07/18/2020 2:12:47 PM PDT by CheshireTheCat
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To: CheshireTheCat

One order of freedom fries!


2 posted on 07/18/2020 2:14:36 PM PDT by Dr. Ursus
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To: CheshireTheCat

“Never really that great” Cuomo is a regular Rocket Scientist.


3 posted on 07/18/2020 2:16:13 PM PDT by Paladin2 (I didn't know all of the HTML that FR allows.)
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To: CheshireTheCat

Yes, smart bar owners should start
Offering a food item. A bowl of peanuts. Whatever.


4 posted on 07/18/2020 2:17:29 PM PDT by Persevero (I am afraid propriety has been set at naught. - Jane Austen)
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To: Dr. Ursus

I get what you are saying, but we are not the same country as when “freedom fries” were in vogue. We are probably less free than France right now.

I prefer something like Farce Fries, but I am open to suggestions.

One can also order:

Tyranny Tacos.

Onerous Onion Rings.

Bondage Buffalo Wings


5 posted on 07/18/2020 2:19:54 PM PDT by CheshireTheCat ("Forgetting pain is convenient.Remembering it agonizing.But recovering truth is worth the suffering")
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To: CheshireTheCat

I do believe I could buy Manhattan for $23 and some beads from this guy.


6 posted on 07/18/2020 2:25:18 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer”)
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To: CheshireTheCat

My Martini comes with a gosh dang Olive!


7 posted on 07/18/2020 2:35:53 PM PDT by Macoozie (Handcuffs and Orange Jumpsuits)
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To: Persevero

The old bars used to put out free salty stuff.


8 posted on 07/18/2020 2:37:26 PM PDT by ebshumidors
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To: Macoozie

Hey! A bloody Mary is dinner!


9 posted on 07/18/2020 2:39:43 PM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: CheshireTheCat

When will the National Restahreant Association get off their ass and start suing?


10 posted on 07/18/2020 2:41:13 PM PDT by Fledermaus (ONLY A MORON THINKS 6 FEET IS A MAGIC NUMBER!)
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To: mylife

Exactly - I’d like a side of bacon and shrimp skewers... and put them in the damn bloody Mary!


11 posted on 07/18/2020 3:03:42 PM PDT by SloppyDrummer (There's a place for us...)
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To: CheshireTheCat
a dixie cupful

Are they still allowed to make and sell "Dixie" cups?
12 posted on 07/18/2020 3:03:48 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics)
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To: Dr. Sivana; CheshireTheCat
Are they still allowed to make and sell "Dixie" cups?

These lovely ladies say "Yes!"


13 posted on 07/18/2020 3:06:03 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics)
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To: SloppyDrummer

Oh hell yeah!


14 posted on 07/18/2020 3:54:01 PM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mylife
In Wisconsin we know how to do bloody marys...


15 posted on 07/18/2020 6:18:15 PM PDT by gnarledmaw (Hive minded liberals worship leaders, sovereign conservatives elect servants.)
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To: gnarledmaw

LOL!


16 posted on 07/18/2020 6:28:59 PM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: CheshireTheCat

Disappointingly, Governor Abbott is doing the same thing here in Texas.


17 posted on 07/18/2020 8:00:50 PM PDT by The Pack Knight
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