Posted on 02/05/2020 5:22:13 PM PST by SamAdams76
There are 26 letters in the English Alphabet. At least, there were that many when I was shuffled through public grade school.
Yet every literate human being on Earth (and there are billions) are capable of randomly typing a paragraph that has never been typed by literate people in all of human civilization.
I will attempt one now...
It was decided that Clarence Dickerson was to fondle a blonde girl while luxuriating in front of a roaring fire on a cold winter's night in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Clarence wasn't much for smarts but he did have a book of Jack London's Yukon Stories in front of him and he was reading one out loud to the blonde girl named Lucinda who was nestled under his arm as he recited "In A Far Country". As he was reading, Lucinda kissed him on the lips tossed his book to the floor, and proceeded to wildly unbutton his clothing while humming the Abba song "Fernando". Clarence decided at that point to just go with the flow
Go back to the ‘fondle’ part please.
That’s two paragraphs.
It was at that moment, when the million remaining monkeys on Earth decided to raid the world’s antique stores for typewriters. They then gathered in Zambia with their Royals, Smith-Coronas, and Brothers. They had also collected countless reams of paper and at the nod of their leader Bojimbo the Grey they began to type. It would only be a matter of centuries before one of them would recreate the works of Shakespeare.
George Carlin called this decades ago... but with a sentence alone. Might require a Twainian sentence, but still... lol.
I’m pretty sure I’ve read that paragraph before...
Maybe, humblegunner?
I’ve been working with Siri on a rap song. I hate rap.
Anyway, I talk gibberish to Siri, who tries to put what she (it) heard into English, at which point I edit the output into a more finished product. I give you...
Shadow daddy yoyo dodo
dough row row row go go...
mad mo king bling bring a book look nook
hook hock lock knock tic-tock...
apple scrapple scrape ape app app ack ack nap nap numb numb...
Buddha butter hey batta batta but a drumbeat dumb eat
from some thing that does does not dose the most..
resort reports a retort splat a spat rat-a-tat-tat...
did you do or did you not diddy diddilly double
a couple had a cup ‘uh with the coach cray cray Kiki...
without a doubt the trout neck wrecked heck
he was a slim Jim in a scrum drum drumbeat deadbeat
new crew knew Cortana repost a post to get the most moist toast...
halfback backtrack over mod God bod bro yo BooBoo BarBar Sundar tartar...
he’s so cool he does your pool for all the fuel so don’t be cruel don’t be a fool stay in school...
I say OK All day I may nav to the lab rave in a cave and Four Fab fave...
beetle beetle beetle beetle ba ba baby maybe hey hey I say ok ok today ray yeah yeah yeah ...
Am thinking of entering it in the next Vogon poetry competition.
Back in college we did field work involving a large engine and electric generator. One person had to watch it each day. Keep it full of diesel and monitor the amperage output and write down the numbers every half-hour or whatever.
Anyway - it was an ONAN generator. Someone, sometime got to writing stories in the notebook to spend the very boring time sitting alone with a generator. It was mostly guys - and of course most of the stories were related to the Biblical Onan.
I turned my story into how that Onan was the son(?), younger brother(?) of Conan the barbarian. I remember one gal that read it said something like “Most of the stuff in that notebook is stupid. Some of it is funny. But your story was really good! (I kept it all clean, and wrote it about his various adventures fighting dragons, evil guys, etc.)
Nick Danger.
She licked her lips and smiled up at him. He said, “Get off your knees and brush your teeth, and then I’ll think about it.”.
Try convincing the guy who keeps getting dealt 16 to the dealer's 10 up card in Black Jack.......LOL!
Clearly, we need fewer letters in the alphabet. Then, maybe, we could all be on the same page.
Yes, the OP asked for one paragraph which I provided, but he did not say only one, and at a penny a word....
I was recently included on an episode of the oxygen network crime show called “Buried In The Backyard. Season 2 episode 12 to be exact. I was best friends with the victim and was quite honored to pay homage to my dear friends life. If anyone has seen my episode please gimme a shout.
I find that most people cannot actually type a paragraph consisting of actual sentences.
It certainly is.
I remember reading once that a standard deck of 52 cards has never been shuffled in the same order in human history. I found that hard to believe until I saw this number:
80,658,175,170,943,878,571,660,636,856,403,766, 975,289,505,440,883,277,824,000,000,000,000
The above number represents the possible combinations of a standard 52 card deck shuffled. Now it makes more sense why this has never happened and likely will not happen for a billion years even if the entire human population did nothing but shuffle decks of cards every living moment of their lives.
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