Posted on 09/25/2018 6:50:17 PM PDT by pboyington
These are strange days in the USA…
The Bears are in first place in the NFC North and a pipsqueak posing as Thomas Magnum is trespassing on the grounds of the Robin Masters Estate in Hawaii.
And, it’s not Mac…
If that wasn’t bad enough, a 100 lb. chick in yoga pants is masquerading as Higgins.
Welcome to the dystopian world of the new, 2018 version of Magnum, P.I.
The new Magnum, P.I. is a testament to not only how bad Hollywood is now, but how completely upside down society is.
In 2018 America, aka America 180; right is left, left is right, and Christine Blasey Ford is a shoo in for the next host of The View.
As a hint to where the new Magnum was headed, a CBS producer recently commented that the old Magnum was an all male, buddy show. In 2018, they needed a strong female character.
Why? – to placate some militant feminist and member of the ‘resistance’ running a department at CBS? After all, we need to take Senator Hirono’s advice and just sit in the corner and shut up as the MeToo movement runs over us.
Adios testosterone, Aloha estrogen…
Last night, I sat back in my Archie Bunker chair, with a bowl of Tums, determined to get through the one hour pilot, whatever the cost to my stomach lining and blood pressure and knowing full well that the real Magnum and Higgins were only a few clicks away, ensconced on Blue Ray for eternity.
The pilot began with Magnum conducting a HALO (High Altitude Low Opening) parachute jump from the International Space Station into North Korea, where he rescues a doctor and his family after a chase a la Fast and Furious. The writers could have done humanity a favor by having Magnum’s main and reserve chutes fail, allowing the new Senor Magnum to do a HANO (High Altitude No Opening) jump into TV heaven.
Unfortunately, we’re not so lucky.
Within less than a minute, the new Magnum, played by Jay Hernandez was grating on me. No doubt, Hernandez is a decent enough actor, but he ain’t Magnum folks. Thomas Sullivan Magnum, with his former Virginia WASP pedigree and name, has strangely been transformed into a Latino. The concept of Hernandez sporting the name Magnum is about as asinine as Denzel playing the Red Baron, or Fernando Lamas starring in an off Broadway hit as Winston Churchill; but hey, it’s 2018 and we’re all supposed to swallow diversity, regardless of how stupid it looks and sounds.
And, this show is maxing out on stupid.
The opening credits lasted about five seconds, which is about the average attention span for Generation Snowflake.
The producers immediately let us know who’s really in charge of the show, Higgins. While Magnum and his wartime buddies TC and Rick are swigging down a few cold ones, Higgins, careens into the guest house holding a couple dog collars belonging to the Dobermans, Zeus and Apollo.
Magnum is quickly informed in that globalist, Redcoat, British voice all Americans despise that if he violates one of her rules and regulations, he will be wearing a dog collar. Soyboy Magnum and his soy sidekicks nod meekly. After all, this is 2018 and men are now second class citizens in the feminist gulag archipelago.
The plot progresses at light speed, barely propped up by special effects and car chases. Magnum’s buddy Nuzzo, also a former Navy SEAL is kidnapped and tortured. The trail leads Magnum to a couple ex Marines who are involved in smuggling gold from Iraq.
While snooping on an office computer, Higgins, is confronted by the two ex gyrenes. She easily dispatches both men with a series of karate kicks and Kung Fu moves that would no doubt leave Grasshopper and Caine scratching their heads.
Strangely, the same men who 100 pound yogini Higgins managed to beat up, ambush former SEAL, Magnum and pound him into coconut pulp.
Like I said, this is 2018 America and we’re living on fantasy island.
The show possesses the standard weird quirkiness that all TV shows have now. Somehow, American society has transformed itself from speaking normally, into talking in little muffled sound bursts, where one character meekly attempts to passively aggressively out do the others.
I find it downright nauseating.
The dialogue is campy, clipped and crappy. When Magnum asks if he can use another of Mr. Masters’ Ferraris (apparently, there are endless Ferraris on the estate) he is told by Higgins to take Uber.
The show already is lacking in character development, especially with Higgins. She has all the presence of a Venice Beach helicopter parent, who apparently worked for MI-6, where she learned how to beat up Marines and to break into US National IMINT program satellites.
Yeah…
There is also a very noticeable lack of props belonging to Higgins and Magnum. They seem to reside in a sanitized estate that looks more like the Ritz Carlton Diamond Head, then someone’s house. There are no personal mementos, no rubber chickens, guerilla masks, matchstick Bridge on the River Kwai’s, toy cannons, regimental crests, there is nothing, which is what this show is – nothing…
All the goofy car chases and stupid stunts can’t hold a show together in the long run. You have to have good writing, good acting and believable characters.
Watching it will make any fan of the old show want to turn on the Magnum of yesteryear.
Watching it reminds me that the world is living in a cultural dark age.
To paraphrase George C. Scott in Patton, “God, how I hate the 21st Century…”
John Hillerman lived here in Houston, and just recently passed away.
We tuned in to see it but I immediately tuned it out. This guy doesn’t have the Thomas Magnum “it”. We won’t be watching next week.
It wasn’t awful. The original show was cool to a HS/college guy (like I was when it ran) but honestly, I wouldn’t have been interested had I been 10 years older at the time. So it isn’t like the original was some sort of classic.
With that said, my standard wear in college was shorts, a polo or t-shirt, a baseball cap, white Pumas, and a Rolex, though mine was a Submariner and Magnum’s (for later seasons) was a GST. Actually, my wear still is like that, sans the watch (sold) and running shoes rather than tennis type.
From the lyrics to "Cause I'm a Blonde" ---
"They say to make it, you need talent and ambition
Well, I got a TV show, and this was my audition
Um, okay, what was it .... Ok, um, don't tell me .... Oh yeah, okay
DUCK, MAGNUM, DUCK!!!"
I bet the Vegas bookies already have odds on how long before the show gets altered. Reviews coming in are killing it, which means advertising will drop so no ad revenue.
FOX should come up with their version, what could be worse?
I was willing to give it a chance. I was hopeful. the fact they decided to change Higgins sex was annoying but this is not the same show I can always watch the old show if I want. the problem with the show is real bad writing. the script, directing and prop management was so bad that at one point they had a screen with a recovered gold bar the size of two standard chimney bricks that was treated like it weight was under 10 pounds rather then the 80 pounds that it actually would weight. this show is not worth watching. the best way you can show your disgust for the show is to not watch it amd instead watch the old shows.
I watched it and it was appalling.
The new guy playing Magnum was terrible and rather puny compared to Selleck.
Right in the first episode the Ferrari was totaled. I don’t think Selleck’s character ever did that in the entire run of the original show. Robin Masters must be Tom Clancy style rich if he has a garage full of exotic cars in this new show.
Also I don’t remember exactly what kind of books Masters wrote in the original show but I don’t think they were adventure novels based on Magnum and his buddies as they seem to be here.
The new Higgins isn’t much but she is more interesting that the new Magnum. They still had that ugly helicopter that looked like it the same one from the original show.
All in all a unnecessary reboot that I doubt makes it.
I didn’t make it through 5 minutes. I loved the old Magnum, not even sure WTH this crap is. Any similarity ends at the names of the characters.
Have Zeus and Apollo been replaced by Hers and Artemis? Why can’t they do an original series rather than wrapping unpalatable ideas in familiar packaging?
The old Magnum was beefcake for the ladies.
I visit friends often that watch the old shows, esp Magnum PI.
While visiting them I pointed out that in one scene Tom was wearing long pants. A first. Lol
There's hints and insinuations that there will be a romance between Higgins and Magnum.
In the original, even though Higgins and Magnum toyed with each other, over time it was clear they had built a bond of brotherly love and respect for each other. To turn that into just another "romance" is just wrong.
No wonder the ratings sucked.
I couldn’t even bring myself to watch it for the Dobermans.
And you know that’s a major statement, right there.
:\
First of all it was a jump from high altitude using a balloon and capsule. Not the space station. He even left the door open so when it fell into the ocean it would sink rather than float.
Next bad scene is him crashing through a brick wall with some tiny old Asian sedan which would have crushed the front end of that car in real life. The full automatic gun fire from a high position in a military off road Humvee style vehicle that fails to hit anyone in the back seat or even the back window from 20 feet behind is ludicrous. Hispanic Magnum is driving through a jungle where every bit of concentration is absolutely needed but he still finds time to look back at the N. Korean family reassuringly for a long time. Then right when Magnum needs to signal the helicopter where they are in all that jungle foliage; Magnum manages to spin the car and with one or two shots from a handgun finds the sweet spot on the chase vehicles gas tank making it blow up in a fireball signalling the copter.
Nothing about that opening scene was remotely believable. Being a glutton for punishment I watched the rest; more to see how much more they could screw it up.
I’m so sick of PC Hollyweird and its sick need to be inclusive. Next thing you know they will remake Superman into a black guy. Sheesh!
I watched a Rockford Files episode on DVD.
Sticks & Stones May Break Your Bones But Merrihew Will Bury You.
A favorite from season 3. Cleavon Little and Simon Oakland guest starred.
Just the ads for it were enough to turn me off...some classics can’t be bettered by replacing an aging man of class with a tank-top clad young blonde woman...getting too far away fro reality with some of the “action” crap too. Will check out the updated Lethal Weapon to see how that goes though.
Another show that CANNOT be redone. James Garner IS Rockford, and no one else can play the role.
Period.
100% correct.
Stuart Margolin is Angel Martin and is in a class all by himself.
Some of “MANIFEST” was caught, and found to be intriguing. Until TPTB transform this into “The Invaders”, they might have found a viewer here.
Who is making and where is the the remaking of “SOAP”? Would any dare today to attempt such a feat?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.