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Humor the Antidepressant: Scent or stench
Sierra Vista Herald ^ | Elizabeth Cowan

Posted on 04/10/2017 8:30:21 AM PDT by SandRat

It is invisible. It goes around corners and fills entire floors. There is no escaping the scent bomb.

“Help! My nose hairs are under attack.”

This could be the universal cry of those whose co-workers bathe in cologne several times a day; are forced to ride elevators or attend prolonged meetings in enclosed places. Imagine the horror of an elevator ride in the 200-story Burj Khalifa in Dubai. Aside from getting an altitude induced nosebleed, your stomach may be roiling from the blend of overpowering smells.

Do you think your sense of smell is safer by walking the stairs rather than riding the elevator?

You may be wrong because even the stair climbers’ nostrils are under attack when they follow in the wake of a scent-bomber.

What is your nostril zapper preference?

How do you wish to experience fragrances men and women wear? Did you choose strong stench also known as strong perfume? If so, perhaps your olfactory nerve is defective. Such nasal malfunctions may be due to overexposure to a mixed-fragrance fog — a mingling and explosion of fragrance and other odor bombs.

It is possible that the use of one scent to mask another less than pleasing smell can backfire.

People stop at your desk, but their cologne permeates the area and lingers long after their departure. Solution: spray the air with Lysol. Wrong! The combination of the cloying perfume and the Lysol made the area uninhabitable for nearly thirty minutes.

We queried a number of people, male and female, on the subject of fragrances. Most prefer no perfumes or colognes, but would tolerate a very light scent. Light scent implies that one had to be in close proximity of another person (almost snuggling) to detect a fragrance. No one admitted liking the heavy scent-to- stench perfumes and colognes worn by both sexes.

Judging by the folks who take a dive into their fragrance of choice each morning, we are sorely tempted to share one of the synonyms for perfume, toilet water. In truth, some perfumes have such an astringent smell that they remind us of industrial cleaning solutions. Such strong scents are capable of making our nose hairs stand at attention.

Military folks are forbidden to wear fragrances of any kind, due in part to the fact that many people are allergic to them. Besides, if folks wear cologne while crawling around under barbed wire they could attract critters of the biting variety. In which case, you would be filthy and covered in insect bites. Not a very attractive or pleasant prospect.

Men and women alike think if they douse themselves in a scent no one will notice the odor they are trying to mask. For example, people sweat when they are active. However, some Lana Looney proclaimed women do not sweat, they glisten. Well, whether you are dripping wet or shiny wet, you are sweating. Get over the euphemisms and call it what it is lady.

Some guys just go with the natural aroma and do not care a whit about covering up the scent of BO with something so overpowering that people back away when the doused one’s approach.

Ladies who smoke also make the mistake of drenching themselves with a scent hoping no one notices the smoke smell. It is time to clue in the camouflaging dudes and dudettes. We not only smell the underlying body odor, but also the burnt tobacco smell.

One female employee used a particularly strong perfume to cover up her smoking scent. The smell not only filled the entire section of our building, but it went around the corners for maximum coverage.

If people comment on your perfume when they pass your desk, you are wearing too much product. If people walk by you and they pass out from you “heavenly” scent you are endangering the nose hairs of everyone within smelling distance of your body.

The rule is probably the same for using fragrances as it is with body odor. If you can smell yourself, take a shower.


TOPICS: Humor; Local News
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 04/10/2017 8:30:21 AM PDT by SandRat
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To: SandRat

Never ask a woman if the scent she wears is “Eau de Bugspray”

They get offended for some reason.


2 posted on 04/10/2017 8:34:53 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: SandRat

Wow, Liz...

Project much?


3 posted on 04/10/2017 8:37:50 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic, Anthropogenic Climate Alterations: The acronym explains the science.)
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To: SandRat

Old ladies in church must put on gallons of cologne!...........................


4 posted on 04/10/2017 8:39:20 AM PDT by Red Badger (Ending a sentence with a preposition is nothing to be afraid of........)
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To: BenLurkin

Eau de Black Flag!....................it’s quite popular!.................


5 posted on 04/10/2017 8:43:56 AM PDT by Red Badger (Ending a sentence with a preposition is nothing to be afraid of........)
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To: BenLurkin

It’s RAID. And yes those who wear parfume du Raid are offended when you tell their perfume smells like Raid.


6 posted on 04/10/2017 8:47:57 AM PDT by A message
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To: SandRat

Halifax,Nova Scotia———SCENT FREE workplaces

http://dev.thedailysmell.com/2011/01/15/halifax-nova-scotia-celebrates-20-years-fragrance-free/


7 posted on 04/10/2017 9:12:16 AM PDT by Mears
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To: SandRat

“Military folks are forbidden to wear fragrances of any kind, due in part to the fact that many people are allergic to them. Besides, if folks wear cologne while crawling around under barbed wire they could attract critters of the biting variety. In which case, you would be filthy and covered in insect bites. Not a very attractive or pleasant prospect.”

Uh...the author left out the most important reason to not wear scents in a tactical environment: the enemy.

Grunts in Vietnam were warned not to wear “that good smelling stuff” when on patrol. Charlie Cong could smell you coming from a mile away.


8 posted on 04/10/2017 9:22:20 AM PDT by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam. Buy ammo.")
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To: SandRat

I’ve worked with people who drowned themselves in cologne. It smelled like cheap cologne and it made my eyes water. You knew that person was in that room recently. You couldn’t get away from it. I rarely wear cologne to work. Just scent free deodorant.


9 posted on 04/10/2017 9:54:50 AM PDT by virgil (The evil that men do lives after them.)
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To: virgil

I remember going into convenience stores where
the after shave was kept in the refrigerated case.

Tough neighborhood.


10 posted on 04/10/2017 10:00:18 AM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: SandRat

There’s a very popular women’s scent that I smell occasionally on the street wafting behind the wearer. To my nose it smells like what I remember hamster bedding material smelling like when I was a kid.


11 posted on 04/10/2017 10:06:10 AM PDT by Oratam
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To: SandRat

Some women wear so much perfume the leave a puddle...
(Benny Hill)


12 posted on 04/10/2017 11:18:45 AM PDT by Rumplemeyer (The GOP should stand its ground - and fix Bayonets)
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To: virgil

We have one systems contractor that comes in smelling like he bathes in cologne.

I have to block my office door open and put a large fan in the doorway for 90 minutes to clear the air after he leaves, it’s so pungent and lingering.

I can’t even consider entering the space while he’s there.


13 posted on 04/10/2017 11:31:22 AM PDT by Don W (When blacks riot, neighbourhoods and cities burn. When whites riot, nations and continents burn.)
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