"Ugly Women Will Put Hillary in White House" Says Dem [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 May 2016 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Former Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell (D) bragged that "ugly women will put Hillary in the White House next November. Donald Trump may have sponsored beauty pageants, but let's face it, the overwhelming majority of women are ugly. They're going to vote for one of their own kind over a billionaire misogynist."

"For one thing, the Democratic Party is a better friend to ugly women," Rendell contended. "We give them what they want. We give them welfare, which comes in handy if you're too ugly or nasty to hold onto a man. We enact laws that give them the right to sue anyone who looks at them or speaks to them in a demeaning or insulting manner. We made sure that Obamacare would cover all of the psychotropic medications they might need to adjust to their disappointment for being ugly."

"What does Trump or the GOP offer them?" the Governor asked. "The right to join the rat race and get ahead if they're competent? That's a pretty weak gruel. The free market offers that to everybody. A robust government is one that can give you more than you could get on your own. Letting people keep what they earn would be like having no government at all. We don't think the majority of voters will opt to go that route."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=207864.new#new

OR

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/197325-2016-05-20-semi-news-semi-satire-may-22-2016-edition.htm

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

A satirical DANG! for John Semmens.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

If you want to be happy

[Bobalu]

[Intolerant in NJ]

Ugly Women for Clinton - I love it - the latest underdog faction for the ‘rats to champion - the party of losers and dependent incompetents......

[Rusty0604]

Lol

[Rusty0604]

Yet somebody did.

[GOPJ]

Rendell contended. "We give them what they want. We give them welfare, which comes in handy if you're too ugly or nasty to hold onto a man. We enact laws that give them the right to sue anyone who looks at them or speaks to them in a demeaning or insulting manner.

You've discovered some weird underlying truth here...

[Springman]

John, I was wondering how you would be able to top what fast Eddy said, you did.

Well done sir!!!!

[x]

Blogpimp: that is essentially what Rendell said.

By appropriating his comment to promote your shabby operation you'll make people think its fiction.

[Impy]

If only Obamacare covered alcohol. Beer goggles would help these ladies out.