German Army Hampered by Overtime Rules [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 May 2016 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

The German Army had to shorten its participation in recent NATO war-game exercises because the government's labor regulations restrict the number of continuous hours troops can be on duty.

Minister of Defense Rinehart Schwachkopf defended the move asserting that "preserving the rights of the worker against exploitation is an essential function of the German government. If we start discarding rights on the pretext that 'defense is too important' to have to comply with regulations intended to protect these rights we raise the question of what are we fighting for if not to protect Germans' rights?"

Schwachkopf acknowledged that "enemies of Germany might seek to exploit any gaps in our defenses caused by troops having to stand down in order to comply with labor rules, but no one said maintaining the social benefits of the working class would always be easy. Our armed forces will need to learn to be more efficient and expeditious in their operations."

The Minister went on to point out that "blitzkrieg, or lightning war, used to be something Germany's armies deployed to great success in the past. Perhaps knowing that their troops are on a time clock our generals will reacquaint themselves with this once successful tactic."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,205366.0.html

[Boogieman]

This was good.

I have an image in my mind of a muddy battlefield with machineguns blaring, bombs dropping, men leading a bayonet charge... then a steam whistle blows and everyone drops their weapons and heads off for a lunch break :)

[aquila48]

Unfortunately this is not satire, just a slight exaggeration.

Germany deserves to be taken over.