I found out two years ago that both my parents had children out of wedlock that were given up for adoption. when contacted by the birth mother that their daughter had found them, it got a bit hairy because my dad fell head over heels for “ the daughter he never had”. I admit that really hurt to hear. Whole thing was difficult. After meeting her and giving me her contact info she decided that it took him too long to tell me about her so she really doesn’t want anything to do with him (that’s what her email to me said). At first there was constant contact between them. Almost obsessive on both ends. Whole thing was hard for my mom.
I tried very hard to see it from the adopted daughter’s perspective. I have to admit all of it was a shock. Especially that my mom also gave up a baby girl when in college. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been. She, however, is holding firm to the belief that that girl has her real family - a mom and a dad who love her and raised her. My dad began living in and longing for the past; what could have been. Almost ended their marriage.
I obviously don’t know what it’s like to be adopted. It’s good for me to hear your perspective as I started wondering about the other biological half sister that is yet unknown. Maybe my mom is right-somethings are better left alone.
You can’t live in the past... the past is over, done.
One can chose to live in the future and the present...
I am going to chose...as I have learned ....
To live in the present. My “niece” will know I am here...in the present.
The past is the past and cannot be changed. Today...each new day we live in the present... or...radically choose to live in the future.
I'd like to say that's an extremely brave thing for a young woman to do. The "easy" choice now is abortion. Your mother didn't do that. If she had, She probably would have carried the regret and pain forever, much more than giving up a child to adoption.