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Mayonnaise Is The Worst Condiment
thefederalist.com ^ | Oct. 2, 2015 | William Kelly III

Posted on 10/03/2015 2:27:03 PM PDT by PROCON


There exists in this world a condiment below all others. It has all of the flavor of sawdust and the sublime texture of soap scum. Until recently, I was unaware that The Federalist, lovers of freedom, etc., was complicit in its spread. I rise today to defend America—nay, the world—against such scurrilous anti-food propaganda.

As all Americans, especially Texans, know, mayonnaise is a tool of oppression used by communists and bland-food lovers everywhere. It is a form of mind control designed to cow you into a sense of complacency about life. Food has flavor, and mayo covers that flavor up. It destroys your ability to taste.

What do you do to a food if it is too intense, and you’re not Texan? You add mayonnaise. In much the same way that salt is used to flavor food, mayonnaise is used to bland it. It is flavor’s anti-particle: it annihilates on contact.

Hello, People: The French Invented Mayonnaise

(Excerpt) Read more at thefederalist.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: condiments; mayonnaise
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To: MinuteGal; ken5050

Life is not worth living w/out Hellman’s REAL mayo.

One unusual way I used mayo that was utterly delicious-——leftover Chinese takeout had very little sauce left.

So I added mayo and mixed it in.

The mayo took on the Chinese flavors and made an unctuous sauce for the leftovers.


221 posted on 10/03/2015 3:43:45 PM PDT by Liz
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To: MinuteGal
C'monna my house for dinner and you'll swoon from happiness and contentment as you wipe the mayo and delicious gravy from your satisfied lips and then treat yourself to a couple slices of decadent coconut cream pie with a big mug of hot black, strong, caffeinated coffee...um, um, GOOD!

You are most definitely MY kinda people!

222 posted on 10/03/2015 3:44:29 PM PDT by EternalVigilance (Unarmed security guards are about as useful as water that isn't wet.)
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To: PROCON

I love mayonnaise, especially the fresh mayonnaise made with olive oil that they sell in delis in France. Yum, yum!


223 posted on 10/03/2015 3:45:03 PM PDT by exDemMom (Current visual of the hole the US continues to dig itself into: http://www.usdebtclock.org/)
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To: ETL

LOL


224 posted on 10/03/2015 3:47:31 PM PDT by windcliff
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To: trisham
Well, it's not green chile, and should never come in contact with it, but...

Bacon sandwiches, ham sandwiches, turkey sandwiches, salmon on saltines, deviled eggs, egg salad, potato salad, bologna sandwiches, salami sandwiches, tuna fish sandwiches, tuna on saltines, ... yep, it's nearly everything! ;^)

Bring out the Best Foods or go hungry.

225 posted on 10/03/2015 3:47:32 PM PDT by TigersEye (This is the age of the death of reason and rule of law. Prepare!)
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To: Lurker
That and a bottle of wine is about all one needs.

Yup. I found a Vietnamese bakery here that knows its stuff on baguettes, brioche and other remnants of French Indochina. Hmm, time for an errand...

226 posted on 10/03/2015 3:47:52 PM PDT by Charles Martel (Endeavor to persevere...)
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To: PROCON

"Wave good-bye to your buddies, Mayonnaise! Oh, I forgot. You don't have any buddies, do you? Only customers!"

227 posted on 10/03/2015 3:47:55 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: PROCON

I completely agree. Mayonnaise is disgusting.


228 posted on 10/03/2015 3:48:27 PM PDT by The Ghost of FReepers Past (Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light..... Isaiah 5:20)
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To: ETL

You’re a handsome guy, ETL. :-)


229 posted on 10/03/2015 3:50:17 PM PDT by PROCON (A proud CRUZader.)
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To: TigersEye

It’s also good with french fries, especially with a bit of Frank’s sauce mixed in.

I’m ordering some of the Duke’s mayo. :) I like the idea of a bit more lemon juice in the mix.


230 posted on 10/03/2015 3:51:19 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: wally_bert

I grew up on the Canadian border and early on I realized the ONLY thing you put on fries is malt vinegar. I tried poutine once-meh.

CC


231 posted on 10/03/2015 3:51:33 PM PDT by Celtic Conservative (Lightspeed: 186,000 miles per second squared. It's not just a good idea, it's THE LAW!)
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To: okie01

If you want to get technical about it.

But in the end both are white creamy spreads. One is sweet and the other isn’t.


232 posted on 10/03/2015 3:51:35 PM PDT by Moonman62 (The US has become a government with a country, rather than a country with a government.)
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To: GraceG

Home grown Big Boy tomatoes with mayonnaise and salt!


233 posted on 10/03/2015 3:52:13 PM PDT by BwanaNdege (Buy stock in Bear Port-a-Potties!)
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To: PROCON

I knoooooooooooooooooooooow!

JJ


234 posted on 10/03/2015 3:52:26 PM PDT by ETL (Too many idiots, not enough time)
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To: PROCON

Kill mayonnaise lovers!!!!


235 posted on 10/03/2015 3:53:20 PM PDT by rrrod (Jhttp://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3343827/reply?c=1ust an old guy with a gun in his pocket.)
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To: MinuteGal
Darn straight on cooking the old-school way. It just tastes better. None of that low-fat crap here, either. And tomorrow I make lasagna! Ground round, Italian sausage, homemade sauce and tons of cheese! It weighs about 15 pounds...

My 2¢ is Miracle Whip is for salads. I use Burman's real mayo from Aldi, less than two bucks for a big jar, go through several a year. Walmart wants almost $4 a jar, no way.

236 posted on 10/03/2015 3:53:22 PM PDT by W. (I piss on the militant muslims & their horrid koran! GTFO of my America!)
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To: exDemMom

You can get that at amazon. Hellmann’s makes it.


237 posted on 10/03/2015 3:54:06 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Norm Lenhart

Yeah, unsweetened tea is okay. All in all, I like to save us my caffeine allowance for strong coffee.


238 posted on 10/03/2015 3:54:52 PM PDT by CatherineofAragon ("A real conservative will bear the scars...will have been in the trenches fighting."--- Ted Cruz)
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To: miss marmelstein

No mayo means no horseradish sauce for your prime rib or roast beef, no tartar sauce for your beer-batter fried fish, no Ranch dressing for anything.


239 posted on 10/03/2015 3:56:10 PM PDT by txhurl
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To: miss marmelstein

No mayo means no horseradish sauce for your prime rib or roast beef, no tartar sauce for your beer-batter fried fish, no Ranch dressing for anything.


240 posted on 10/03/2015 3:56:10 PM PDT by txhurl
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