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Why I'm Keeping My Pregnancy a Secret From My Baby's Father
yahoo.com ^ | Janaury 8, 2014 | JL Scott

Posted on 01/09/2015 10:08:31 AM PST by grundle

I blinked at my computer screen. It was a response to an email I had sent to a friend telling her I was 12 weeks pregnant and that the father was someone I had met during my summer abroad. He didn’t know I was pregnant — and I had no plans to tell him.

I had expected surprise or at the very least, “Congratulations!” but her response made me briefly wonder whether I was setting myself —and my baby — up for a lifetime of second guessing.

Still, 10 weeks later, now that I’ve found out I’m having a daughter, my position is clear, if controversial: Despite the unfairness and complications, I will not tell this man that he has a child.

I met Nick at a bar one Thursday night in Dublin, where I lived for several months while working on a writing project. I had gotten used to exploring my new city alone and meeting whoever came along. After a few vodka sodas, I invited Nick back to my apartment. The truth is, I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. He and I disagreed about almost everything. Still, the physical connection was palpable.

We had sex, and in the moment, neither of us were as careful as we should have been. As we said goodbye, we had an awkward conversation. “And you’re … okay?” He asked tentatively, clearly referring to birth control.

I nodded. I wasn’t, exactly — my birth control prescription had run out a few months before and, because I was abroad, I hadn’t gotten a new one.

(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...


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To: Responsibility2nd

My step-grandson fits this thread almost perfectly, but he has not grown up damaged. He is eleven and one of the lights of my life. we have never given him any cause to believe he is ‘damaged’. But there are many other parameters to the love we have freely given, such as the financial support for him and his life-affirming mother.


41 posted on 01/09/2015 11:03:21 AM PST by MHGinTN
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To: NorthMountain

Indeed. She needs to quickly get her act together before the child permanently suffers the consequences of the mother’s lack of morals.


42 posted on 01/09/2015 11:04:09 AM PST by DakotaGator (Weep for the lost Republic! And keep your powder dry!!)
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To: Kackikat

A child is not an error.

But .. why wouldn’t you take an extra supply. She ran out of her prescription BEFORE SHE WENT ON THE TRIP .. and she was expecting she wouldn’t be attracted to anyone ..??

Ignorance!


43 posted on 01/09/2015 11:13:45 AM PST by CyberAnt ("The hope and changey stuff did not work, even a smidgen.")
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To: grundle

Women are total b$tches. How do you men stand some of us? What a horrible thing to do.

Now, if she had said the guy was evil or dangerous, fine. But hey, she is a continent away, and she doesn’t even have to allow him to see her. She could give him an anonymous email address and tell the father, let’s keep a communication open until I feel you are a safe decent human being. He can’t blame her for that. Then, if he proves himself to her, she can let him into her child’s life.


44 posted on 01/09/2015 11:20:10 AM PST by Yaelle (No Cruz? Then "I'm Ready for Hillary; What Difference Does It Make?")
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To: Mrs. Don-o

Exactly. If she didn’t want the man in her life, she shouldn’t have allowed him into her body.


Don’t have sex with anyone you don’t want to raise a child with. Period. Condoms break and the pill doesn’t always work.


45 posted on 01/09/2015 11:24:01 AM PST by Yaelle (No Cruz? Then "I'm Ready for Hillary; What Difference Does It Make?")
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To: JimSp

“Not a chance a pig like “Nick” was going to be a father anyways.” That may not be true. Although I agree that Nick is objectively not a good bet, I have known many people who do not grow up until they HAVE to. Many or most young adults today have no sexual morals but have good hearts. If given a chance, perhaps Nick would rise to the occasion. I’ve known happy marriages that had weird or rocky starts, as well as marriages that seemed destined to flourish, yet failed. Even losers like Nick deserve a chance, and their offspring deserve a chance to have fathers. Alas, this woman won’t give them such a chance.


46 posted on 01/09/2015 11:24:14 AM PST by utahagen
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To: grundle
I will not tell this man that he has a child.

Until such time that she needs money to support him. Then she will DEMAND it.

47 posted on 01/09/2015 11:33:45 AM PST by unixfox (Abolish Slavery, Repeal the 16th Amendment)
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To: Yaelle
"Don’t have sex with anyone you don’t want to raise a child with. Period. Condoms break and the pill doesn’t always work."

Amen to that, Yaelle!

48 posted on 01/09/2015 11:48:49 AM PST by Mrs. Don-o (Sanity is the adequate response of the mind to the real thing: adaequatio mentis ad rem.)
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To: Dilbert San Diego

There have been a number of women in my life who decided they didn’t want to talk to me anymore.

Hard to believe, I realize.

Not one of them offered to take me home for sex.


49 posted on 01/09/2015 12:12:46 PM PST by Sherman Logan
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To: Yaelle

Applies to men too.

Or should if they’re decent human beings.


50 posted on 01/09/2015 12:15:30 PM PST by Sherman Logan
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To: Sherman Logan

I had the same experience. What is with her, saying she doesn’t want to talk to him, apparently doesn’t like him, yet takes him home to her bedroom. Something strange is going on in her head.


51 posted on 01/09/2015 12:18:57 PM PST by Dilbert San Diego (s)
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To: lodi90

A little late to ask about STDs AFTER having sex with her.


52 posted on 01/09/2015 12:21:53 PM PST by Nea Wood
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To: Dilbert San Diego

Of course, if they had offered my wife would have been really pissed off.


53 posted on 01/09/2015 12:22:08 PM PST by Sherman Logan
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To: TexasGator

i thought she said “mick”...

that’s racist gif in 3, 2, 1...


54 posted on 01/09/2015 12:44:41 PM PST by teeman8r (Armageddon won't be pretty, but it's not like it's the end of the world.)
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To: lastchance
Well if she goes for any public assistance she may very well be required to declare paternity.

It makes me wonder if all children born should be tested to determine paternity. It would at the least keep men from being stuck supporting children that are not theirs.

55 posted on 01/09/2015 1:08:45 PM PST by Praetorian
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To: grundle

Someone should post this on all the Dublin social networks.


56 posted on 01/09/2015 1:14:01 PM PST by Mercat
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To: grundle

“Imagine my shock when I found out that you could get pregnant from sex. That’s not what I wanted”.

Science is so anti-women


57 posted on 01/09/2015 1:16:19 PM PST by AppyPappy (If you are not part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
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To: JimSp

I think “twit” is misspelled. Accurate, but misspelled.


58 posted on 01/09/2015 3:58:22 PM PST by jimt (Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed.)
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To: Paladin2

I read it, You are correct, actually I think what she is doing is Criminal.


59 posted on 01/09/2015 4:30:20 PM PST by eyeamok
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To: grundle

Her most loving, unselfish option would be to put the baby up for adoption.


60 posted on 01/09/2015 4:41:48 PM PST by Cloverfarm (Je suis Charlie ...)
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