(((copy and pasted, all caps are not my doing)))
A WOMAN WALKS INTO THE DOWNTOWN WELFARE OFFICE, TRAILED BY 15 KIDS. *
*’WOW,’ THE SOCIAL WORKER EXCLAIMS, ‘ARE THEY ALL YOURS?” *
*’YEP, THEY ARE ALL MINE,’ THE FLUSTERED MOMMA SIGHS, HAVING HEARD
THAT QUESTION
A THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE. SHE SAYS, ‘SIT DOWN TERRY.’ ALL THE CHILDREN RUSH
TO FIND SEATS. *
*’WELL,’ SAYS THE SOCIAL WORKER, ‘THEN YOU MUST BE HERE TO SIGN UP. I’LL
NEED ALL YOUR CHILDREN’S NAMES.’ *
*’’WELL, TO KEEP IT SIMPLE, THE BOYS ARE ALL NAMED TERRY AND THE GIRLS ARE
ALL NAMED TERRI.” *
*IN DISBELIEF, THE CASE WORKER SAYS, ‘ARE YOU SERIOUS? THEY’RE ALL
NAMED TERRY?’ *
*THEIR MOMMA REPLIED, ‘WELL, YES - IT MAKES IT EASIER. WHEN IT’S TIME TO GET
THEM OUT OF BED AND READY FOR SCHOOL, I YELL, TERRY!’ AN’ WHEN IT’S TIME
FOR DINNER, I JUST YELL ‘TERRY!’ AND THEY ALL COME A RUNNING. AND IF I
NEED TO STOP THE KID WHO’S RUNNING INTO THE STREET, I JUST YELL ‘TERRY’ AND
ALL OF THEM STOP. IT’S THE SMARTEST IDEA I EVER HAD, NAMING THEM ALL
TERRY.’ *
*THE SOCIAL WORKER THINKS THIS OVER FOR A BIT, THEN WRINKLES HER FOREHEAD
AND SAYS TENTATIVELY, ‘BUT WHAT IF YOU JUST WANT ONE KID TO COME, AND NOT
THE WHOLE BUNCH?’ *
*’THEN I CALL THEM BY THEIR LAST NAMES.’*