Posted on 06/09/2011 1:40:00 PM PDT by momfirst
Hello fellow Freepers. I am looking to you for some direction and advice on where to turn on behalf of my closest friend in the world. A very horrific incident happened this week to her daughter, who was expecting her first child. Unfortunately, she misscarried the baby at 13 weeks gestation. If the devastation of that was not enough, it happened in the hospital while she was on the toilet. The nurse instructed them to leave it there and she would go get a pathology box. Very shortly thereafter, another hospital staff member came into the room, donned gloves, and went into the shared bathroom (shared between two patient rooms), shut the door, and, to everyone's horror, flushed the toilet, baby and all. My friend and her family are just beside themselves in grief over not only the lost child, but the way it was handled compounds it a thousand-fold.
The hospital apologized and said they would start an investigation, but that was it. My friend really wants to know what the hospital is doing to make sure this never ever happens to another family, but will not get any replies from the hospital, just get's the standard run-around. They don't want to sue, they just want action. We think the least the hospital could do is to follow-up and reply to their requests - and I persionally think they should offer counseling services to their daughter. The poor thing can't go to the bathroom without bursting into tears.
Does anyone have any advice or direction to resources that might help advocate for this family? We can't find any organization to help since there was no physical harm done to any person. (after all, society doesn't consider a 13 week fetus a person)
And please, any prayers would be greatly appreciated for this young woman and her family.
Thank you!
That said, the threat of lawsuit may motivate the hopital.
Have them call a lawyer. If they have a family friend who practices, have them call them. They can sue but not for money, just to change procedures. I wouldn’t buy anyone’s promise at that hospital at this point. This is probably not the first time they have handled this situation like that but should be the last.
I am so sorry for your friends.
This is a horrific event, my deepest sympathies to this family.
I hope that this is publicized because it shows the beast that we are dealing with in this country - A CALLOUSNESS TOWARDS THE GIFT OF LIFE, A GIFT FROM GOD.
Lost a baby at 16 weeks. I finally pushed the baby out (yes, it was like real labor, although obviously not as big-but contractions) and the nurse swept it away and kept calling it “tissue.”
Until the baby is 20 weeks, that’s exactly how miscarried fetuses are treated, as if they were skin or a blood clot. Just “human tissue.”
Your comment is tasteless and shows callous disregard for other people. You should be ashamed. This is not a joking matter.
So they can sue for policy change?? I don’t think any law type folks they talked to even mentioned that was a possiblity. That’s what they want. Thank you! Just need to find the right lawyer...
Unfortunately, when it comes to a hospital's administration staff, a lawsuit is what gets their attention. Tell them to retain a shark attorney and file or forget the whole thing.
It’s a sad catch 22, but the hospital is afraid to speak with them exactly because they fear a lawsuit, but if the family retains a lawyer they will pay attention. However, at that point they will still stomewall teh lawyer because, they will fear a lawsuit.
I think they should speak with their clergy for advice, perhaps also a counselor of some sort to deal with the grief and loss. They should then talk with a lawyer to help them sort out what is possible.
From the description you gave, it did sound like an accident? I’m sure the first nurse wanted to preserve the fetus for medical as well as ethical reasons. It sounded like the second nurse screwed up. They can improve their procedures, seems someone needed to seal off that room until it was dealt with properly.
AFTER speaking with the lawyer, if they don’t want to sue, I’m sure state and local agencies would be interested in investigating. Also, even if the hospital won’t admit it, once they get a detailed letter explaining what happened, they probably will improve their procedures.
I’m so, so sorry for your loss.
And yes, that 20 week mark makes all the difference to some in the medical community. The “care” is missing from healthcare.
I was horrified, as others were, by this. The advice I’d give would be similar to others: legal counsel, and continuing, in writing, to request where the investigation is. Also, consider contacting local or national right to life groups, which may or may not be something to mention in correspondence with the hospital. You and they would know that situation better than I, but keep on them. This is no minor thing; this is how they have treated human life, and as I’m writing this there is surely other vulnerable human life in their care, for whatever that’s worth.
Here’s my advice. Post the name of the hospital and the name of the victim and the date of the incident. That’s about all you can do.
I’m not a lawyer, but suspect just the threat of a $ suit would force a ‘settlement’ resulting in establishing a new procedure. At that point, if the family’s objective is purely for the policy change, they might have to find an attorney thru a pro-life advocacy group in their state who would work on their case pro bono. Most lawyers are in business to make money.
She needs grief counseling first, I’m sure there are internet forums but I think you might also ask your local Pregnancy Care Center as they already do post abortion grief counseling so surely they will have a few names of counselors specializing in that area.
Also another avenue for damages to pursue is whether the woman has also been deprived of medical information by the wanton discarding of the fetus. Did it have genetic anomalies, were toxins present, etc that might have bearing on a future pregnancy.
The hospital staffer should be fired for both stupidity and insensitivity.
I would give the hospital some time, is sounds like it was not done intentionally as they initially offered to help the mother. More then likely it a hard subject for the Hospital staff to have to deal with also. Real hard to offer help as I can't see anything the hospital can do to make up for what happened, other then documented policy that prevents this from happening again. like securing room until the baby is properly secure.
Definitely consult with an attorney.
Thank you for your wonderful advice.
Yes, they are claiming it was an accident, and it was, in a way, but with the very limited exposure to medical process and procedures I’ve had (just starting nursing school in the fall myself), I can’t beleive another staff person (not a nurse) went into a patient room they were not familiar with and didn’t ask before entering the bathroom and disposing of anything, be it the baby or whatever. That seems very negligent in my mind. I would assume they have a protocol for shared restrooms. If not, they most certainly should now.
I’m so sorry for this loss. The loss of a child of any age is terribly painful. Regardless of what they decide to do related to the hospital and staff, please encourage them to make contact with Compassionate Friends http://www.compassionatefriends.org/about_us/our_mission.aspx
These are families who have lost children. People who have lost a child can help in grieving and living with loss. Prayers for all involved.
I have read all of the posts on this thread and can only tell you what I would do.
I would pray for the soul of the little child, forgive the hospital staff, pray for my own healing, praise God, and try to move on.
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