Posted on 05/11/2017 5:58:26 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
It’s still surreal—horribly surreal—and we aren’t about to wake up.
The Trump presidency confronts the majority of Americans with a situation that has rapidly degenerated from shock and disbelief to rage and dread. The op-ed page of the New York Times has been reduced to perpetual teeth-grinding. Faint signs of hope from Donald Trump’s lips have proved to be illusions, the vagaries of a flimflam artist soaking up adulation for what amounts to a despicable regime. The last slender thread of hope, that the Republican-run Senate will stand up to him, is likely to snap soon.
When there’s no escape, what can you do to survive and remain sane? I’d like to argue that perpetual rage isn’t the answer.
In any situation of maximum stress, a person’s coping skills are severely tested. Stress is maximized whenever three elements are present: repetition, unpredictability, and loss of control. Repetition is supplied by Trump’s constant presence on all media. Unpredictability is at an all-time high, thanks to his policy flip-flops and neck-wrenching mood swings. Loss of control has been mandated by the right wing’s take-no-prisoners, make-no-compromises stance.
Maximum stress can appear harmless on the surface but is potentially lethal underneath. In classic laboratory experiments, mice were placed on electric plates that delivered innocuous shocks at random intervals. The mice had no control; the shocks were repetitive and unpredictable. Within a few days the animals’ immune systems were degraded, they exhibited abnormal behaviors, and some quickly died.
This means, at the very least, that being intensely angry at Trump, the normal response to him, is a form of self-harm. Of course a human being isn’t a 150-pound mouse, and what makes the most difference is that we can cope psychologically with a stress, perceiving and interpreting it in a wide variety of ways. The most obvious proof of this fact lies in the response of Trump supporters who not only don’t regret their vote but would elect him again over Hillary Clinton if given the chance. Their positive interpretation is based on the same news stories (i.e., external stressors) that horrify members of the Resistance.
Since no one doubts that resistance is called for, the trick is to resist and cope at the same time. That’s no mean feat, and I speak as someone who felt my stomach fall to my feet when the House passed their heartless, dishonest health care bill this week. Coping skills are real things, and it’s time to embrace this fact; rage and dread have already lost their utility, and exhaustion is widespread.
So what coping skills will actually work? Here are seven ways to climb down from Trump outrage:
1.Catch your negativity early.
Once you are sunk deep in gloom or anxiety, it’s more likely that you will find it hard to lift yourself up. So be on the lookout for the first signs of negativity. As soon as you spot a mood shift toward irritability, anger, frustration, worry, or pessimism, pause immediately. Take a few deep breaths, and center yourself. Let the emotion pass, and get yourself somewhere quiet and pleasant, such as going outdoors for a walk.
2. Avoid external stressors.
Dark thoughts usually occur in reaction to a new stress, and if you can, you should get away from the stressor, whether it’s a negative person, a tense political argument, or bad news on TV. Dark thoughts set in when they are reinforced, so don’t let anyone or anything reinforce your bad mood if you have the choice to avoid it.
3. Develop a supportive inner dialogue.
About 75-80% of people talk to themselves in their heads, and a small minority even hear inner conversations. When the voice in your head starts saying things, pause for a moment and say to the voice, “I don’t need this. It doesn’t serve me.” Repeat until the mental voice stops.
4. Keep company with positive, optimistic people.
We all have friends and family members who are downers, and the current political situation worsens the effect. Some people insist upon seeing worst-case scenarios, and in general they indulge their gloom rather than taking helpful action. Often sheer inertia keeps us from walking away; in the Resistance it’s hard to avoid becoming part of the despair. But you will be better off finding people who can contribute to changing things while not dwelling on the dark side of things. Realistically, we’ve heard the bad news a thousand times already.
5. Try a “thought replacement” strategy.
A technique that lies at the heart of cognitive therapy (an approach that addresses thoughts and beliefs rather than feelings) is to question negative thoughts by asking if they are actually true. For example, if you begin to feel frustrated and think, “What’s the use? Things never work out,” these thoughts are tested against reality. You say to yourself, “Actually, things sometimes do work out. I’ve succeeded by persevering. This might be one of those situations.” The secret here is to be specific and honest with yourself. When any negative thought arises, you challenge its validity. Instead of “The worst possible people are in charge,” you replace that thought with “No one’s all bad. Some good people still have influence. I’m not helping myself by exaggeration and self-pity.” Once you get accustomed to a thought-replacement approach, you’ll be impressed by its effectiveness. Moods follow thoughts, which is why it does no good to ruin your mood with dismal thinking. In the face of the atrocious repeal of Obamacare, I replaced the thought, “Oh my God, the ship is sinking” with “There’s a long way to go yet. The right people are in opposition. The public will have its say. We’re barely into the first act.”
6. Develop being centered and detached.
Being detached can be a positive state; it’s not the same as being indifferent or surrendering. Instead, you are centered inside yourself, which allows you to view situations as a witness/observer, without being emotionally rattled. Detachment develops naturally through the regular practice of meditation, because once you experience the centered, quiet, unshakable level of your mind, you easily learn how to return there at will.
7. Get “sticky” emotions to move.
Negative feelings have a mind-body connection, which you can feel physically. After a bout of getting angry or crying, it takes a while before your body settles down. This is due to various hormones, the stress response, and other biochemicals that do not clear immediately. You can help the clearing process by various means:
- Taking deep steady breaths- Lying down and resting- Walking outside- “Toning,” the technique of letting spontaneous sounds arise as they will (low groans, moans, shouts, etc.). This technique is best learned in person to get the knack of it.- Deep, repeated sighs- Discussing your feelings with sympathetic listeners
In the Trump era, everyone needs to have a set of coping skills, and these are among the most useful and effective. Heavy thoughts don’t have to cloud your day. I imagine my recommendations won’t quell the upsurge of anger that sweeps over all of us as the Trump outrage wends its reckless course. But in time we’ll want to preserve our sanity and remain resilient emotionally so that politics doesn’t turn into perpetual torment. When that time comes, the most effective resistance is likely to begin.
Go hug a tree Deepak.
My thoughts too!
None of these techniques will work because the very small percentage of the population that viciously hate Trump are clinically insane. I know a fair number of liberals and most of them are not all that upset. Sure they are unhappy but only maybe 1 out of 10 is HuffPost Certifiable.
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Good points. I know a few libs and they’re their wacko selves and haven’t displayed any more lunacy than normal.
I think some libs might actually be relieved or quietly happy that the evil -bitch lost.
The rage is because he is not one of them. This country has developed a political class that includes political dynasties, Trump invaded their territory and like an ant hill that has been stepped on they are running around in all directions and creating chaos.
He is just a scam artist who has a goodly number of fools, fooled.
It’s ok. We all went through it for 8 years. I honestly thought my life was over. Now it’s like a new dawn. I’m not tired of winning yet. Tell Deepak that these are karmic consequences of the actions of he and Obama and all their ilk while they had power.
“When the voice in your head starts saying things, pause for a moment and say to the voice, “I don’t need this. It doesn’t serve me.” Repeat until the mental voice stops.”
Good advice for our mentally deranged liberal friends.
He invented it.
deepak chopra. tupac shakur. Flamingo and Koval. #ObscureVegasReference
Yer so baaad!
He’s an MD, a New Age thinker and philosopher, a metaphysician. I like him, but I don’t think much of his political opinions, obviously. His advice would be helpful if any of them took it tho.
Deepak Chakra? Is Al Gore releasing again?
This guy is one of the motivational con men who uses words as though they have a different meaning. Once a reader or listener is bogged down with 5 or 10 of these fake words, it is impossible to test the logic of what he is saying and if it is mysterious enough he looks like a guru.
I think he is a complete moron.
That’s true - I even went away from this site for many years. Just couldn’t take being reminded. Let’s see, in bammys admin we were about at the cash-for-clunkers point weren’t we?
OHHHHH, Deepak-ji! You are SOOOOO Inspirationalistical!!! BTW, an old friend of mine wrote the book “Psychobabble”.
The best POTUS in more than a generation, and these ignoramuses have feigned horror for so long now that they can’t snap out of it. Like Mom used to warn us when we made an ugly face, “If the clock strikes while your face is that way, it will STAY like that!”
I would submit, based on having observed some fairly strong anti-Trump “snowflake” responses to his Make America Great Again! campaign, the LIEberals are, indeed, 150 pound mice!
Didn’t algore get into trouble for asking someone to release his Deepak Chopras?
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