Politically Correct Fairy Tales: The Three Little Pigs

There were once three little pigs. The first little pig built his house out of straw. But the big bad wolf easily knocked it down. Then he ran to the 2nd pig's house which was made out of sticks. But the wolf came there and knocked it down too. Then both pigs ran to the American pig's house which was made out brick. When the wolf came there, the American pig pulled out a gun and blew his stinking head off.

Afterwards, the American pig looked upon the other little pigs with pity, and gave them money so they could rebuild their houses. The two little pigs accused the American pig of being "arrogant" and of "acting unilaterally", but they still accepted his money.

Later, both pigs went gambling with the money the American pig had given them. They lost almost all of it, but could still afford to build fragile straw houses. They didn't worry about another wolf though, because they secretly knew the American would always save them, just like he did in WW1 and WW2, so they went gambling again.

The end.