Northern New York seems to be on everyone's vacation wish list. This list of rules will be handed to each person entering the state. (Note: Vehicles with New Jersey, New York City and Connecticut plates will receive two copies.) 1. That slope shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym. 2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slowly you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Now drive or get the hell out of the way. 3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it. Now we're out to git Bambi's Daddy. 4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked.....by our women. 5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an idiot. 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time! 7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it medium rare. Order a two pound lobster and steamers. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. 8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon. 9. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. 10. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter-million dollar skidders to pull logs out of the woods and farm tractors that run a hundred grand. 11. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red, and we may even stop when it's yellow. 12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute. 13. Yeah, we eat Wimpy's, lobster, scallops, clams and haddock too. If you really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop, except it is closed now. 8-( 14. They are pigs and they are cows and horses. That's what they smell like. Get used to it. Don't like it? Route 37 goes two ways.... get on the Southbound Lane! 15. "Opening day" refers to the first days of fishin' and deer season'. They are religious holidays. You can get breakfast at the local Diner. 16. So what if every person in every pickup waves? It's called being friendly. Understand the concept? 17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish. 18. Chowder is supposed to be white. Don't even think of asking for red chowder until you are somewhere safely south of Syracuse. 19. Sure we like Homer Simpson, he enjoys life and drinks beer just like the rest of us. Welcome to Northern New York. The Way Life Should Be I'm 63, retired, WM, live in a rural area in NY State, near the Canadian border.
I am an Independant voter. and please DO NOT associate our area with NY City