November 25, 2013
I've been told that some people would like to donate, but do not trust either GFM or Paypal. If you Freepmail me or LucyT, we will give you the address for where to send whatever you can spare.
Please understand that this is not a request for donations, (although we really need the help,) but an answer to those who have asked for a better way to donate fearing identity theft or other privacy issues which I understand perfectly. I know that things are tough all over and I am not the only one in need. That goes without saying. So here you go.
Thank you to those who requested this and thank you in advance for whatever you can do. And if you can't, or do not wish to donate, which is also perfectly understandable, just please keep praying because it is appreciated just as much and we need all the prayers we can get. You can still use the donation links if you wish. Meanwhile, all previous updates have moved to page bottom.
For anyone who might be interested, older health info is now at the bottom of the page.
I still need your help desperately and your prayers now more than ever.
I don't know how long this hospital stay will be
or how much, if any, good it will do.
If they can't do the surgery, my chances are slim.
If they can, the recovery period will be lengthy and worrisome, but hopeful.
I need help to keep us going through this,
and the stress is already out of this world.
Please donate if you can, and if you can't, please pray regardless as I pray for you.
Thank you and thank you and thank you.
TELL EVERYONE YOU LOVE THAT YOU LOVE THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY
I just HAD to show you what A Freeper Elf just sent Nevaeh.
Her eyes were big as saucers when she opened the box,
and frankly, so were mine.
The picture doesn't do it justice, but there is one very happy little girl
having very sweet dreams tonight of a royal tea party with the Queen.
We used mini Tootsie Rolls as pretend crumpets and sugar lumps in the sugarbowl.
Before the party, she painted every single one of my finger and toe nails a different color,
painted hers to match exactly
so we would be 'fancy' enough for a royal tea.
It was one of the most enjoyable nights we have had in awhile
and I cannot thank The Freeper Elf nearly enough.
G-d Bless Free Republic.
Live Thread: Egypt Revolution 2.1 The Ikwhan Strikes Back: Deadly "Day of Rejection"
AS THE DAYS PASS
AND THE SEASONS CHANGE,
WHEREVER YOU ARE, I HOPE YOU ALWAYS SEE
THE BEAUTY THAT SURROUNDS YOU,
AND MAY LOVE FILL YOUR DAYS WITH JOY.
MY PRAYERS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU.
EVERYONE, PLEASE HAVE HOPE AND KEEP THE FAITH
And HaShem went before them by day in a pillar of cloud,
to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire,
to give them light; that they might go by day and by night:
the pillar of cloud by day, and the pillar of fire by night,
departed not from before the people.
DAVID CODREA'S PROJECT GUNWALKER
CODREA: THE WAR ON GUNS
A journalist's guide to 'Project Gunwalker'-Part One
A Journalist's Guide to 'Project Gunwalker'-Part Two
A Journalist's Guide to 'Project Gunwalker'-Part Three
A Journalist's Guide to 'Project Gunwalker'-Part Four
A Journalist's Guide to 'Project Gunwalker'-Part Five
A Journalist's Guide to 'Project Gunwalker'-Part Six
A journalist's guide to 'Project Gunwalker'-Part Seven
A journalist's guide to 'Project Gunwalker'-Part Eight
A Journalist's Guide to 'Project Gunwalker'-Part Nine
IN AT THE BEGINNING, PART 1
IN AT THE BEGINNING, PART 2
IN AT THE BEGINNING, PART 3
Now therefore, if ye will hearken unto My voice indeed,
and keep My covenant,
then ye shall be Mine own treasure from among all peoples;
for all the earth is Mine
America, One Nation Under GOD
WILL WE CHOOSE SLAVERY?
WE OWE THEM EVERYTHING
RINO FREE AMERICA PROJECT
OBAMA, ISLAM, AND THE HARD LEFT
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH SARAH PALIN???
MENSA Syndrome (Something to think about)
MENSA Syndrome: (excerpt)
Extreme degenerative brain disease
Profound Neural dysfunction
Erroneous belief that one is somehow more superior to all others because they were mistakenly programmed by those who equate POTENTIAL VS ACTUAL knowledge and wisdom to IQ scores to believe they are absolute in their superiority.
This causes repeated instances of *Massive Extreme Neural Synapses Abuse* by those seeking to act on this unprovable, even dangerous, doctrine.
barack hussein obama
Every "reporter" on JournoList
BILL CLINTON BACK IN THE WHITEHOUSE
Ladies and Gentlemen, I rest my case.
Countdown to Inauguration Day 2013
To Honor a Dear Friend
We are facing the most significant threat to our Freedom since the Revolutionary War. Our way of life, everything our Forefathers fought and died for, is on the line. Freedom itself is under seige by the enemy within. I do not feel that is an overstatement.
None of us are immortal. We pass our Freedom to our children...but in order to do that in these days of upheaval, we must hold fast to the belief that FREEDOM is worth dying for.
I pray it does not come to that. But I fear it as never before.
IF it comes, and I pray it does not, I vow to be an adversary that will bring hell to the enemy's doorstep. Whatever it takes, how ever long it takes, my children will remain free.
IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Natures God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.
We paid a very high price that day. Our troops have paid a very high price for it ever since.
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!
REMEMBER SEPTEMBER 2001
NO GREATER LOVE
"It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so."
"There is more anger in America today than at any time I can remember."
Arlen Specter, 8/11/2009
HELLO FREE REPUBLIC AND WELCOME TO AN EXCLUSIVE FREE REPUBLIC CALL TO ACTION
We have all been frustrated and angry at the way we have been treated by the political elite in this country. They have ignored us, belittled us, overlooked us, and singled us Conservatives out for their special brand of contempt.
It is bad enough when liberals and Democrats do it, but the betrayal of our Constitution and of our whole system of Conservative values and morals at the hands of the party we built and supported for lo these many years has been the ultmate blow to Conservatives both those of us here at Free Republic, and to Conservatives in the grassroots across our country.
THEY HAVE TAKEN US FOR GRANTED!!!
The RNC and the Republican Party have helped the liberal vampires in this country to sink their fangs into the very heart of our nation, and have joined in the cause of the slow bleeding and painful death of everything that made America the freest, greatest land on earth.
They have become the enemy within.
HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH???
ARE YOU MAD AS HELL???
How about it, Free Republic?
When was the last time you didn't go to bed and wake up angry?
When was the last time you yelled out loud at the television?
A minute ago? An hour ago?
When was the last time you saw a RINO on television betraying you to your face? Today? Yesterday? Five minutes ago?
When was the last time you went to work, IF you still have a job, and managed to stay in good spirits for more than five minutes as you have been faced with the consequences of liberal policies that RINOs helped put in place?
Affirmative action hires that don't work so you have to work harder, but you can't say anything.
You can't DO anything or you risk losing everything.
You hear them in your offices, in your assembly lines, and in your rest areas snickering at you, calling you names, and making fun of you behind your back because you believe in something. Because you value life, liberty, equality, morals, ethics, family, and GOD.
Because you support our brave Warriors,including Law Enforcement Officers who put their lives on the line every damn day for them and us.
Because you honor those brave men and women who fight today and have fought in the past for our freedom while they openly disdain them almost as if they are deliberately trying to pick a fight with you personally.
Don't they just LOVE pushing your buttons?
They know EXACTLY where to stick the knife, but all you can do is endure the pain in relative silence because there is nobody to watch your back.
You know the RINOs who sold us out are to blame for ALL of it.
Without the RINOs, what you see happening today would have been impossible.
ARE YOU TIRED OF IT???
ARE YOU SICK TO DEATH OF HEARING THAT THE PARTY YOU ONCE TRUSTED TO UPHOLD CONSERVATIVE PRINCIPLES IS A BIG TENT THAT ADMITS ANYONE WHO BELIEVES IN NOTHING IF THEY DECIDE TO WEAR AN R AFTER THEIR NAME???
ARE YOU WILLING TO PUT YOUR MONEY AND A FRACTION OF YOUR TIME TOWARDS ENDING THIS CYCLE OF MADNESS???
TELL THEM ABOUT IT!!!
Take five minutes, ten minutes, an hour of your time, grab a pen and a piece of paper and write it down and SEND IT!
Type a letter and print it out and SEND IT!
Not an email. Not a fax. Not a phone call. We already know they will ignore them.
We want to flood their headquarters with letters they can't ignore, as many letters as is humanly possible. Write a letter, make ten copies, sign your name, buy some stamps and send them!
Have your friends and family send as many letters as they can.
TELL THEM ABOUT IT.
No more contributions to the RNC, not one cent, if they insist on supporting RINOs who don't adhere to core Conservative principles and values.
Tell them in your own words that you will support individual candidates of YOUR choosing on their own merits, and not the party hacks they want to jam down our throats like Dede Scozzafava and Arlen Specter.
ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING SCREWED???
TELL THEM ABOUT IT!!!
We don't need bullhorns to get their attention! The value of ONE handwritten letter with words inscribed from the heart, is worth more than ten voices screaming at the top of their lungs. Nobody writes letters anymore.
Voicemail can be erased or never listened to. Emails get lost in the system and many are not taken seriously because anybody with a gripe can send an email. It's just that easy, and it makes it that much easier to ignore.
MAKE THEM FEAR US!!!
MAKE THEM THINK TWICE AND THINK AGAIN BEFORE THEY TRY TO PUT A RINO OVER ON US!!!
Let them know you are serious. Tell them why they have reason to fear us. They won't if one or two letters trickle in. We need thousands.
They might receive contributions from the party elite, but those people have only ONE VOTE, no matter how much money they contribute.
We have millions.
TELL THEM ABOUT IT!!!
If they send you one of their stupid plastic cards, don't just send it back in their prepaid envelopes anymore. Enclose it whole with a personal letter using your own envelope, your own stamp, and SEND IT!!!
DO IT TODAY OR TOMORROW, BUT DO IT!!!
This is a Jim Robinson endorsed initiative as it appeared on THIS THREAD, suggested to Jim on THIS POST endorsed on THIS REPLY.
Permission to use Free Republic as the sponsor was asked on THIS POST, and permission was granted on THIS REPLY FROM JIM.
The committee that put this initiative together is DJ MacWoW, who came up with this ingenius idea, with contributions from ~Kim4VRWC's~, hiredhand, bcsco, and MestaMachine.
We have all worked hard to light this fire. Help us turn it into the bonfire that burns their tent down!
So there you have it. If you are at the end of your rope and think there is nothing left to do, for all of our sakes, TRY THIS. IT WON'T HURT A BIT!!!
AND IT JUST MIGHT SHAKE THE RNC TREE. AT THE VERY LEAST, IT WILL GET THEIR ATTENTION.
THANK YOU, EVERYONE!!!
Open Letter to the RNC, DNC, Independents, and Lurkers
THIS IS WHO WE ARE!
We are contributing members of the Premiere Conservative Forum, Free Republic, (FreeRepublic.com.) Our members are known by the term, FREEPERS. We have been engaged in Conservative Activism since 1996.
Founded in September 1996 as a sole proprietorship by Founder, Chairman and President James C. "Jim" Robinson, of Fresno, California, Free Republic opened to the general public in February 1997. Robinson filed for LLC status on September 11, 1998. (an auspicious date when you recall what September 11 has now come to represent in our history.) It has always been a for-profit company and donations have never been tax exempt.
This bears mention for the fact that Free Republic operates SOLELY on contributions from our members, although it costs nothing to join or participate. We are self-supporting and self-sustaining. The tie that binds us all is Conservatism at its finest.
It is also worth paying attention to because what we can accomplish in ONE fundraising event on this site can amount to hundreds of thousands of dollars, IF we decide to pick and back a candidate.
Free Republic's membership spans the entire Fifty States of the United States of America, scattered members from other countries around the world, and includes Americans from all walks of life and all different faiths.
We proudly boast members representing our Military, (some on Active Duty around the world, including Iraq and Afghanistan,), Law Enforcement, First Responders, accountants, authors, journalists, Veterans from many wars going all the way back to the Korean War, grandmothers and grandfathers, mothers, fathers, husbands and wives, sisters and brothers, and a new generation of the children of original members who have chosen to follow in their parents' footsteps.
In other words, our constituency comprises Conservatives who joined Free Republic because of its basic core principles which have not changed since the day our doors were opened.
At the time of its founding, Jim Robinson and a handful of like minded Conservatives became so concerned with the direction our country was being taken by Bill Clinton, they felt compelled to raise their voices by organizing the FIRST March for Justice in Washington, DC, which attracted at least 3000 Patriotic Americans and was broadcast live on Halloween 1998 by C-SPAN. Featured speakers included Alan Keyes, Bob Barr, Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson of B.O.N.D. and Larry Klayman. Ann Coulter, Lucianne Goldberg and Matt Drudge also attended. Other Free Republic events over the years have also been televised by C-SPAN.
Over the years, Free Republic has been a major force in many political events which usually are not mentioned when referring to us, since we have become anathema to left wing blogs and organizations such as Democratic Underground, MoveOn.org, MediaMatters, Think Progress, etc., which are more interested in pointing out some of the negatives during our growing pains, BECAUSE of our influence in thwarting their left wing agenda.
THIS IS WHY WE MATTER!
Free Republic and its members have been instrumental in making sure our rights were not trampled and justice prevailed.
Examples of this have been:
1. The exposure of Al Gore's participation in the Clinton fund raising scandals.
2. The unprecedented, and often overlooked, "ex-communication" of Joe Lieberman by the Orthodox Jewish Rabbis who comprise a judgmental body known as the Bet Din, for using his claimed orthodoxy to promote the Gore pro-abortion policies as Gore's VP running mate, which has not been lifted to this day.
3. The design and release of the "Sore Loserman" posters and bumperstickers which caught the attention of all of America and were so successful that they might well have changed the course of history.
4. The protests against the Florida recount, a blatant attempt by Democrats to steal the 2000 election and reverse George W. Bush's victory. We organized successful counter-protests in opposition to the organized DNC protests and demonstrations by their union sympathizers.
WE were the ones who stormed the locked room where democrat operatives were trying to conduct their recount in secret and exposed their disregard for the rule of law. That action stopped the illegal count and changed their planned outcome.
5. The exposure of John Kerry's true background as a Vietnam "war hero" as well as his extensive connections to our Communist enemies in North Vietnam. The book, "Unfit for Command," was coauthored by one of our members.
6. The FIRST exposure of the Dan Rather/CBS Bush National Guard documents as forgeries, along with Powerline blog which eventually led to the firings of those involved.
These are mere highlights, but by no means all we have accomplished with our dedicated researchers and activist chapters throughout the country.
Most if us were, at one time, registered Republicans. We supported you, RNC, through thick and through thin with our dollars, our volunteers, our dedication to OUR core principles which you espoused.
We watched, as over the years, you turned away from those principles and led our party to defeat after defeat by becoming a duplicate version of the Democratic party, rejecting one after another, the planks in your platform in favor of your "big tent" approach, putting party over principle, party over the morals and the family values you claim to represent, but do NOT.
After fighting every single day everywhere in the country to elect a Republican Majority to the Senate, we were shocked to our core when RINOs went behind closed doors and agreed to "Power Sharing" which we considered a bargain with the devil. WE were right.
After the hard fought 2000 election, we watched in utter dismay as OUR president partnered with Ted Kennedy to extend government control into our families and over our childrens' lives with the "No Child Left Behind" bill.
As if that was not enough, YOUR candidate for the past election, John McCain, teamed up with one of the most liberal Senators in history to give us McCain/Feingold, which Bush promised to veto, but didn't.
After 9/11, we were stunned yet again when Republicans allowed the delay of the implementation of the Department of Homeland Security and allowed the Democrats to politicize it by making it just another boondoggle and a home away from home for their constituent semi-literate and illiterate union workers.
To add insult to injury, the Republicans used it as a repository for deficient small r politicians as political favors. The highest offices were replete with hacks who paid more attention to their interior decorators than to the security of our country.
Since then, it has evolved into simply another dysfunctional, out of control bureaucracy, which has now actually put into writing that CONSERVATIVES in this, our own country, were somehow subversives and potential terrorists.
We have seen RINOs like Jim Jeffords hand over our hardwon majority to the democrats in the Senate. We watched Arlen Specter, Olympia Snowe, and Susan Collins "cross the aisle" to defeat Conservatives and give victories to liberal bills we have abhorred.
We watched the insanity of trying to provide amnesty for illegal aliens disguised as "Comprehensive Immigration Reform."
We watched Republicans spending us into oblivion, but NOTHING on earth prepared us for what Bush did upon leaving office with the help of RINOs in our Congress, and John McCain, our "nominee," the TARP bill handing Obama total countrol over our Treasury.
It was the final blow and a smack in the face to anyone and everyone who supported Small r republicans disguised as Conservatives and which put us on this path to our own destruction, the wholesale dismantling of our beloved Constitution, and the end of Freedom and Free Market Capitalism as we have known it.
We watched as you withheld OUR contributions from Conservative candidates from local offices to federal offices in favor of liberals with small rs who betrayed us once they were elected.
You held your noses when McCain picked Sarah Palin as his running mate, but you must also note that before her candidacy, the RNC AND John McCain couldn't raise enough money to run a presidential campaign. When Sarah Palin joined the ticket, the Conservative coffers opened wide. NOT for John McCain, but for Sarah Palin, whom you continue to try and diminish.
Some of you might have heard of us. Those who haven't soon will because today, the world as you have known it changes. Today we are delaring our emancipation from party politics as usual. Today is the day that as Conservatives, we declare that in OUR PARTY, we will accept NO MORE RINOs!
FREE REPUBLIC DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
Whereas: The RNC and the Republican Party have disregarded Conservative Family Values and Morals to the detriment and exclusion of its Conservative base
. Such as the adaptation of insidious legalese designed to dupe its base into accepting unacceptable moral conduct, including homosexual activity by legitimizing such behaviour as a human right, thereby endangering our children in their schools, us in our workplaces, forcing our Military to accept openly gay homosexuals by aquiescing to the "Don't ask, don't tell" philosophy, and endangering innocent children by allowing them to be legally adopted by homosexual couples which forces them into the gay lifestyle;
. Such as the acceptance into the Party of, and supporting the elections of, pro-abortion advocates knowing full well that abortion murders human babies in the womb;
. Such as accepting and overlooking adultery among its elected officials as an "error in judgement" when it is abundantly clear that if you cannot keep your marriage vows, you cannot be trusted to keep any vows and a prime example of this is none other than Newt Gingrich;
. Such as overlooking, and often engaging in, corrupt practices whether through actions by colluding with, or granting special favors to, corporate lobbiests, wealthy constituents, profiteering in the granting of government contracts to wealthy donors, or simple graft and porkbarrel theft of taxpayer monies;
Whereas: The RNC and the Republican Party have espoused ultra-liberal, even suicidal, policies to the exclusion and detriment of common sense
. Such as continuing to espouse the myth that Islam is a "religion of peace" knowing full well that Islam has declared war, by word and by deed, on the entirety of Human Civilization;
. Such as politicizing our Military by forcing them into politically correct policies that endanger our Troops' lives both at home and on the battlefield;
Whereas the RNC and the Republican Party have allowed themselves to fall prey to extreme environmental psuedoscience
. Such as the notion that CO2 is a danger to humanity and the planet;
. Such as the paying lip service and legitimizing the myth of manmade global warming;
. Such as the acceptance of extremist environmental jujitsu that forbids us from utilizing our own natural resources which GOD has blessed us with in abundance, which has caused energy prices to be artificially high, making us beholden to our sworn enemies;
. Such as allowing extreme environmental policies to interfere with how we live on, and use, our own private property thereby running farms out of business, forcing businesses like logging and coal mining to shut down causing the wholesale destruction of entire communities and sending great swaths of middle class citizens into poverty, and even regulating how much water we can use in our own toilets;
. Such as mandating unnaturally high CAFE standards and over-regulation of our automobile industry forcing them to make vehicles the public did/does not want, and would not buy, ending decades of America's unparalleled world leadership in innovation, class, and style, eventually destroying the entire American automobile industry.
. Such as over-regulating and over-taxing American manufacturing sending millions of jobs out of our own country.
Whereas the RNC and the Republican Party have aquiesced to the distortion of the First Amendment of our Constitution by participating in removal of GOD from the public square instead of defending our Constitutional RIGHT to Freedom of Religion, not freedom FROM religion;
. Such as taking Christ out of Christmas;
. Such as disallowing our right to openly wear symbols of Christianity or Symbols of Judaism in our workplaces while allowing those who practice Islam to not only wear the symbols of their ungodly religion, but allow them special rights for footwashings in special areas, in special basins built at taxpayer expense in our public colleges, forcing employers to grant them special breaktimes in the workplace to conduct their prayers while disallowing our right to pray in any venue because it might cause offense to anyone who doesn't believe as we do;
. Such as disallowing the Holy Bible to be read or taught or even spoken of in government schools, while forcing our children to be indoctrinated into Islam under the guise of "diversity;"
Whereas the RNC and the Republican Party have helped to incrementally deprive us of our Second Amendment Right to Keep and Bear Arms by advocating for one regulation after another designed to make legal firearms ownership as difficult as humanly possible and making criminals of otherwise law abiding citizens;
Whereas the RNC and the Republican Party have colluded with liberals in mandating that instead of English being the official language of the United States, our children are forced to learn Spanish in government schools, and employers are forced to hire non-English speaking aliens or be charged with civil right violations;
Whereas the RNC and the Republican Party have committed these and many other offenses to society at large and Conservatives in particular
Whereas: NO Republican can be elected without wholehearted support of the Conservative Base
WE, the Members of Free Republic,in keeping with the concept under which Free Republic was born, along with the Founder of this Conservative Forum, Jim Robinson, and more generally, the majority of Conservatives of the United States of America, do hereby make and agree to this Delaration of Independence from party politics as usual.
We affirm our independence by delivering our support to only those individuals within the Republican Party, who aspire and inspire our core Conservative beliefs and Values.
If the Republican Party does not field, or will not recruit Conservative candidates, and support them in every way possible, count us out.
We will no longer trust you to pick and choose our candidates with impunity while you wilfully disregard us even as you take our support for granted.
Those days are over.
Your time has come and gone.
We are Americans who still believe that the Constitution is the set of rules that we live by and die for.
In our in our founder's own words:
We are fed up and mad as hell! We grassroots Americans are delivering a message to the ruling class: NO MORE!!
No more big government! No more high taxes! No more government bailouts! No more government takeovers! No government healthcare! No more corruption! No more global baloneyism!!
We're sick and tired of liberals and RINOs running roughshod over our God given Liberty!
We want our country back! We want our freedom back! We want it all back!!
No more socialism!!
Cut the taxes! Cut the spending! Cut the government!
Restore the constitutional limits on government! Restore our freedom!!
And not only no, but HELL NO to liberals and RINOS!!
Free Republic will not support RINOS!!
Support groups mobilize resources in wake of Fort Hood shooting
US soldiers observe a moment of silence at a "Veterans Day" ceremony at Camp Eggers in Kabul, Nov 11, 2009.
Just hanging around...
OCTOBER 25, 2013
Okay. I know I said no more updates, but that was when I was kind of numbed out and on a real downer. Since then, I have read Rush Limbaugh's interview with Dick Cheney and it made me so angry I have decided to fight this thing tooth and nail, whatever it takes. I realize that Cheney is considered more important than I, but who frikkin' decides that?
He is a gazillionaire, but they sent a free plane for him even though he can afford a different color plane for every day of the week. I don't begrudge him that, but what makes him a more important human being than I? And I have not nearly the age problem he had when he was treated to what is usually routine for people in my shoes. He had a heart pump that bought him twenty months and then a miracle. And besides that, I can shoot straight.
So whatever it takes, I will go to the outer limits to receive at least what I feel I am due from the country I served faithfully at often great danger to myself.
So that's it. That's the 'update'. Pray for me because I am about to embark on fighting my government and the whole frikking establishment for my life. Nothing less will do.
Please scroll down for donation links.
OCTOBER 22, 2013
This is an update of the sort that I simply cannot ask anyone else to do for me. LucyT has been extraordinary on keeping everyone posted and can't thank her enough, but this is a rough one because I have made the final round of tests as of yesterday, Oct.21, and it was the last stop on a journey that has ended as far as treatability goes.
There is none. Three fourths of my heart is so badly damaged that what remains is too weak to withstand surgery of any kind. No stents, no bypasses, and no heart transplant. My left lung is basically shut down but still trying. The ulcer is healing slowly, slowly, but I'll take it. And so it goes. All there is left now are a strict medication regimen and prayers.
I am home now sort of trying to wrap my head around all this. Coming down off a spinal morphine drip doesn't help much. bUT I will manage and G-d is by my side so I do not fear.
And I'll bet you thought that was the hard part. Nope. Here comes the hard part.
I am in desperate need of financial help. The stress is overwhelming and I need as much help as I can get as soon as I can get it.
I had to pay my own way from one hospital to the other. My insurance refused to cover it and I had no cash to cover it so they billed me. Same for the trip home from the last hospital. Each trip was $300. And here at home, I am so far behind I can't see daylight. In all seriousness, my normal income has been drastically reduced to almost nonexistence and I try as hard as I can to pay a little here and a little there, but bill collectors and utilities get very impatient. My landlord has been wonderful but that won't last forever either.
You might not realize it, but for me to reduce myself to begging for money is almost harder than preparing my mind for death. It feels almost as bad emotionally because it adds to this feeling of helplessness that I have never had before, and I feel useless.
Can't explain it. Always been so strong and so independent. Always found a way. No way left now except what the Lord grants me.
Much of this hasn't really sunk in yet. I kept thinking my most excellent doctor would find a way around this. But this was my fifth heart failure since April 2012 and my second in the last six months. Too much damage and now it's a waiting game.
I am ao very grateful for all the prayers from so many of you. I cannot thank you enough.
I do believe they are the reason I am still here at all.
Throughout my life, I have overcome many serious challenges and might yet see a miracle. Who knows?
In the meantime, I have spent this entire morning reapplying to every known agency for help that was turned down before and I never explained this before but now I will. My child receives income from Daddy's military death benefits held in trust which I signed off on years ago and do not see nor touch, but they include it as income regardless, which sends me over the top as far as their computers are concerned. The social worker in the hospital before last has promised to help me as an advocate as much as she possibly can, but there is still the reality of today and today is horrible.
If I sound a little nuts, well, I guess the drugs have taken their toll as well. But I come to you because there is nowhere else left to go. IF you can donate anything, anything at all, please, anything will be more than I have now. Nuts is not the word. I feel frantic. Not used to this. With all the drugs, am not even sure exactly what my feelings are. Don't feel quite right at all.
This will be my very last health update. It kind of doesn't make sense to keep talking about this over and over, but it will by no means my last post and I am not leaving FR. I mean, where would I go? I ain't no hero, as you can see. When push has finally come to shove, I come to you hat in hand, tin cup jangling.
If you can't donate or would prefer jnot to, that is just as well. I don't expect so much, but PLEASE don't stop praying for me and for each other. It's mightier than money and I need it just as much, if not more.
Over and out,
New tests tomorrow. cross your fingers and say a little prayer. Hope to have some decent news when I get back. Thank you all for everything.
With Much Love
July 1, 2013 Update
Once again, I apologize for taking so long to respond to inquiries. It makes me feel like a beggar and it's embarrassing. If you knew me you would know that this is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I never expected to be in this position ever...having to depend on the charity of others to survive. I was always the one who took care of everyone else because I could then, but I can't now, and it adds to the depression in ways I don't know how to explain.
Did as much as I could do anywhere I could and thought it would last forever and then things turned upside down...the shooting star that fell to earth burnt to a crisp. It makes me feel worthless and useless, not to mention scared.
There isn't really any good news except I ain't dead yet. At least I THINK that's good news. Some people might feel differently.
It's hard to know where to start or what to say. Sometimes I would just rather sleep than think about it, but most of the time, I would MUCH rather be awake and functioning so that I still feel useful and involved. Hence my almost manic presence on FR, but even that has slowed down a bit.
Last week was my sixth transfusion of whole blood, but they did tell me there MIGHT be some light at the end of that tunnel at least, maybe, maybe, although they couldn't predict how long that might take. Even though they are still not completely sure what the problem is, they have come up with a possibility that only time will tell.
They THINK that with the many physical problems that landed me at death's doorstep, my immune system had just been overwhelmed trying to fight off severe infections,intolerably high white blood cell counts, and the poisons that were causing so much destruction in my body, that it just started fighting everything including itself. In turn, that accelerated the weakening of already weak organs like my heart, lungs, stomach, and intestines, and THAT created even more problems which became a vicious cycle until it interfered with my marrow's ability to keep up.
It has been a real fight to keep going day after day and it gets so frustrating because it's always one step forward and two steps back, but they say as the damage from infections and the ulcers heal, there is a chance that my blood will finally begin to normalize. I pray that is true because unless that happens, I will never regain the strength I need to undergo even the most minor surgery, let alone a heart transplant.
The duodenal ulcer is stubbornly refusing to react to the medication that seems to be working on the many smaller ulcers so surgery is indicated but impossible right now. People ask me how I stand it. And my answer is always what else can I do. I refuse to just lay down and die which is the only other alternative.
I have enough pain killers to knock out a good-sized horse, and don't take them unless I just can't stand it anymore. but had a very bad week and spent most of the time sleeping. Just couldn't handle it.
This past weekend, all I did mostly was play with Nevaeh. That is the best therapy I have. She makes me laugh and we take rocketships out into the stars. Of course she is always the Captain and she's pretty good at it too. We have never had a single crash landing although some asteroids have come mighty close a few times.
I bring in my mail and set it in my desk unopened. The stash is about two inches high right now. I try to pretend they aren't there because the stress gets to me. Stopped answering the phone because I just don't know what to say anymore.
Don't know how much longer this will last. Have reapplied for every kind of assistance I could think of...again...and got the same answers...again. Hospice. Lose all control over my own life. It would be like going to death row and I would go out of my mind.
Have called my attorney and begged him to try and get things moving through the court and he tells me he does try every couple of months with no response. Asking for help has never been my thing. If I wasn't going over the cliff, I would never do it in a million years. If it wasn't for Joe Bell, I probably STILL wouldn't have done it, but then I don't know where I would be right now.
So please help out if you can and PLEASE keep me in your prayers. Thank you to everyone who has already been so generous and for all the kind words of encouragement. It is truly appreciated and I wish things were different but they aren't and I just don't know what else to do or where else to go.
First of all, I want to thank you for your concern and wellwishes.
Here I am again sort of trying to figure out how to answer what so many people have been asking in Freepmails. The plain truth is I have been waiting for some better results after the last battery of tests so I would have something more hopeful to post.
I wish I had some better news to tell you. Unfortunately, I don't, and the news keeps getting worse.
Received my fourth blood transfusion last Monday, and while things seem better the first couple of days, after awhile, I am back to square one. Feel like a ghoul living on someone else's blood, but no one has figured out what the problem is with my own.
They have ruled out leukemia. Even so, they are telling me to consider a marrow transplant in the future, but they don't know enough yet to make that decision.
I'm told that some of the best hematologists in the country are following up on this and so far, I am a bafflement. My blood is just disappearing and they can't find a reason. Neither can they find a reason why my own red blood cells are not fully forming. They are only about three fourths what they should be with a chunk missing. And that is just one of the problems I am facing.
They keep switching my medication and it is to the point that I don't even know anymore what the stuff is supposed to do. Some of it involves an increase in dosage for stress relief and pain relief, but it's taking away my edge. I don't like it at all so I skip doses as often as I can to stop myself from becoming confused and forgetful.
It shows in trying to keep up with my ping lists. If I told you how many times I have to edit for typos before I post, you would not believe it. The other day, I didn't edit at all before I posted and had to beg the mod to take it down. It was just embarassing...worse than twilig in the borogoves. So for everyone on my lists, cut me just a little slack. Doing the best I can for now.
Previously I told you about the skin on my feet burning off. Turns out it was a severe allergic reaction to one of the meds. Again, G-d was with me because I had received a med organizer and started to fill it, but after doing four day's worth set it aside. So many meds it was making me crazy. And I just let it go...and forgot about it. So when I went to take this particular medication, the container was empty and I thought I had run out. There were no refills on it and it was Friday evening so no doc to call for refills. It had been one of the prescriptions I had left the hospital with, so it was only two week's worth, not for a full month, and I had put four day's worth in the med organizer. According to me, I was out.
Weirder still, I didn't recognize the name of the medication which is VERY unusual because I always look up the meds I take. This one I didn't. Don't know why. Got on the computer to see what it was because if it was vital, my pharmacist would advance me a couple day's worth.
Turns out it was for an ailment I didn't even have. The name of the doctor on the container was the doctor I had fired in the hospital for screwing with my heart medication and trying to force me into a rehab he had an interest in. THIS medication is so dangerous even to people who have the ailment it is for, that you have to be constantly watched for reactions which are many and horrible. One of them is a condition called Stevens-Johnson syndrome which in its severest form must be treated in a burn trauma unit. This image is exactly what my feet looked like and it had started cracking the skin in the palms of my hands,
It had happened virtually overnight on a Thursday. My nurse called my doctor who immediately prescribed an antibacterial.
The miracle was that I ran out of the medication, (or thought I had,) the very next day.
Having stopped taking the medication and along with the antibacterial, my feet started healing. Then I rememvered that I had four day's worth of the medicine in the organizer. Bear in mind that at this point, I wasn't sure whether NOT taking the med or the antibacterial was the reason I was healing, so to be sure, I took a daily dose of the med. OMG! Within hours my feet felt like they were on fire. And THAT was the end of that. Nothing wrong with my feet since, Thank G-d.
I can't walk much or well, so the computer is my refuge and Free Republic is my home. The ping lists keep me from concentrating too much on the pain and I thank G-d for that as well. It keeps my mind active and up to date with everything that is going on out there, but the bills keep pouring in and mounting up so I still desperately need help.
They did turn off my electricity one day while I was at the hospital having tests done and when I got home, everything was off including my phone because it's connected to my cable and broadband. My murse used her cellphone to contact the electric company and told them I needed my oxygen, but they needed a fax from my doctor to prove it, so she called my doctor who got in touch with the electric company right away and they turned my electricity back on within a few hours.
Literally every penny I had received has gone to pay for absolute necessities. Each ambulance trip to the hospital costs $75. Each hospital visit as an outpatient costs over $600. The copays for blood transfusions, tests, and medications are out of this world and I am just living on a string. I can't pay for all this and I have had to let the nurses go now as well.
IF you can see your way clear to help, and believe me, I know it isn't easy, I would be more than grateful. If you can't, I understand and continue to ask for your prayers for which I am also more than grateful because G-d has intervened for me many times and I know it. And thank you all for everything.
Anyway, that's the update, (or the downdate however you choose to look at it.) Sometimes I'm up and sometimes I'm down, but I'm still here and that's a very good thing.
May 12 Update
It's hard not to be depressed, but I swear I do try and Nevaeh, the light of my life, helps more than I can say. Her interaction with my nurses is something to behold. She has learned how to do all the peripheral things, (the bloodpressure cuff and stethoscope, the finger BP tester, the thermometer reading,) and it's so cool. They even let her initial the reports. She swears she is going to be a doctor...but she's only five so who knows.
We play a lot. She has face paint so at various times last week, I was red and blue, purple and green, blue and yellow, and various other colors thrown in to make it interesting. She said I looked beautiful. Who could hear that and be depressed? She loves to make jewelry so at times I would be wearing three or four necklaces and bracelets or an anklet or two.
Last week, Uncle C got her her first 22. She picked it out herself, a Keystone Bolt Action 22 LR Chipmonk made right here in PA, so been teaching her how to do it right. She can break it down, clean it, put it back together like a pro. He has to get her some Mickeys before she goes to the range, but they're going to film it all so I don't miss anything.
She also had her first ballet recital last weekend and even though I couldn't be there physically, I was there with her every second. She looked and performed like an angel. I could get maudlin and tell you all the bad stuff that happened last week, but it's Mother's Day and today. that's kind of all I care about.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
This was the original article on a thread titled "Long story Short" which was the explanation for why I had just spent over 20 days in the hospital, (most of it in intensive care,) why I was asking for your help, and explaining the reasons why FRiends put up donation pages for me while I was still in the hospital.
Want everyone to know that I have received all donations and am so appreciative of the help and prayers.
A couple of years ago, I had no copays as my insurance was excellent. THIS time, I have thousands of dollars worth including medications insurance has discontinued paying for. Also had to pay an upfront fee to have oxygen installed which finally was just completed yesterday after weeks of waiting.
As noted on previous update, the whole blood transfusions continue. The next is May 8 preceded by new GI tests on May 7. Since I need to be transported by ambulance, there are copays for that as well and as of this time, there is no end in sight and no prognosis. I wait every day for news and maybe there is some truth in the old saying that no news is good news. I just don't know anything yet.
Scroll down for earlier update and donation links. While donations are more than welcome, without prayers, I don't think I would be here at all. So please pray for all who need it, those who don't, and add my name. Thank you.
Last update to Fund Me page yesterday.
Finally, finally my oxygen arrived this afternoon, What a difference! The forced oxygen therapy isn't as bad as what I experienced in the hospital. One hour with a full face mask and then six hours normal to clear my lungs and stop the choking, We'll see how that goes.
My feet seem to be healing although it was pretty bad yesterday. Not sure why, Need a third transfusion scheduled for the 8th.
Lots of medication, lots of sleep, as much food as I can manage.
Still a lot of pain but praying it eases up soon.
G-d willing, I will get through this yet.
Keep those prayers coming and thank everyone for everything.
Reposted by request: LONG STORY SHORT
First of all, I am nobody's hero. so please understand that even though it's nice to hear, I have never thought of myself in that way and to be honest, it's embarrassing. I have always prayed throughout my life that my sins would be few and for the strength to carry my own burdens however large or small. Not for the burdens to be lifted or somehow magically taken away, but for the strength and the courage to bear them and with G-d's help to overcome.
In my previous life, sparing you the trivia, every day was a 24/7 adrenaline inducing existence which I accepted by choice because as a Patriot, it was my firm belief that what I was doing was both necessary and for all the right reasons.
At some point, things changed and the reasons became blurred as new administrations introduced what, to my mind, were questionable guidelines that went so against my conscience that I found myself more and more reluctant to conduct 'business as usual'.
Those with whom I had worked very closely also began to question as new members were being assigned to us that we knew little about and the bonds of trust began to fade as we realized that some of these people were actually working at cross purposes within our own ranks, literally putting us in extraordinarily extreme danger.
Those of us who actively questioned our superiors were written up as 'uncooperative'. Our Patriotism was questioned even though we had commendations and citations which stated otherwise.
There is no way I can further elaborate on this except to say that I was pushed into 'resigning' or accepting assignments almost designed as suicide missions. I 'resigned' under duress and it was 'accepted' with the Sword of Damocles hanging over my head which is still there today.
Most of my time since then, except for Nevaeh who is now five years old, has been spent in virtual solitude but it didn't stop me from being a hunter/seeker using every technological tool at my disposal to still find some very bad actors who are now no longer wasting good air.
A few years ago, all the adrenaline years and various injuries caught up with me and my heart simply exploded. For four days I thought I Had a pulled muscle in my back but when the pain kept getting worse, finally called 911. Was rushed directly to the heart trauma center and had open heart surgery that same day. It was only afterward I was told the damage was so bad I should have been dead and none of the doctors could figure out why I wasn't. They called me a miracle patient.
Having already been a member of Free RepubLic since 2008, I drove my nurse crazy for sneaking onto my computer in the middle of the night because you guys were my oasis even then, and except for Hardraade who was my partner in Junipersec, I never told a single soul about my illness all the way until now...and this is just scratching the surface.
It didn't end there. Lots of bad stuff happened in between then and now that I also kept to myself, always believing there were so many other people who had it so much worse than I did, it was easier to pray for, and try to help, other people rather than have pity parties for myself.
My savings had completely been used up, and what little Hardraade could advance me for Junipersec diminished as well as his troubles with his ex employers became exceedingly worse because of his association with a "JEW" spy and finally they forced him out altogether. His income became very limited as well so mine was erratic and less than subsistance.
The stress was overwhelming and a little over a year ago, my heart just gave out sending me to the hospital close to death yet again. Surviving that was by sheer will with heavy emphasis on prayer, and within weeks afterwards, I received notice that my home was being repossessed...which sent me straight back to the hospital with congestive heart failure.
Got through that and had to find a place to move with no vehicle and not a bloody red cent to my name, called every single government agency I could think of for help only to be told either I enter a hospice, or nothing. I chose nothing. But I figured G-d had never let me down yet and sure must not have wanted me to die or I would have, I started looking in the rental ads in the local paper and calling everywhere in town until I actually found someone who said they would not only pick me up to see the rental, but that if I liked it, we could work something out somehow.
It turned out to be a beautiful house on a corner lot in a great neighborhood with a huge fenced in yard that I just knew there was no way I could afford. But what this man, who is in the construction business and a Rolling Thunder Conservative, did was to offer to seal off one room and use the address as a separate office, and told me to speak to my 'boss', (Hardraade,) to see how much he could afford to advance me which was practically nil. I never thought in a million years he would accept it, but lo and behold, using his one room as a business address, I became a tax write off for him and we signed the lease that afternoon.
To this moment, I don't know how he did it, but Hardraade managed to send me enough to rent a uhaul which was less than a hundred dollars and two volunteers from a local church packed me up and moved me virtually overnight. Miracles happen. Decent, wonderful people still exist. Faith works.
That should have been the end of the story. Unfortunately, it wasn't. It was the beginning of a new one.
A week after moving in, trying to get things in order, my legs went into the most severe cramps I had ever had in my life. My whole body cramped and I looked like the Exorcism of Emily Rose. Vaeh was scared out of her wits, but I managed to call 911 and they called my bil from the hospital, and there I was again, an eyelash away from death. But I knew G-d was going to throw me back, so no fear. None.
When I got home that time, my capacity to function was greatly diminished but I was put on a waiting list for a heart transplant.
Nearly a year went by and I regained a pretty good amount of strength, but the stress stayed very high mostly for the same reasons as before. Could not settle my case against my former 'employer' which has been in the court system for years because they will not allow it to move forward, so no steady income, erratic and inconsistent at best, shutoff notices and robbing Peter to pay Paul.
On March 13, I was on the phone with Hardraade and I felt perfectly fine. Suddenly, I felt the kind of stomach cramp you get when you just need to get to the bathroom...quick. Told him to hold on and tried to run down the hall to the bathroom. By the time I got to the commode, I was already blacking out. I fell on the floor, jammed between the door and the toilet and was vomiting and the other thing but I could not move nor could I speak. It was over an hour before I could muster the strength to scream for help. ONE scream was all I was good for. Didn't know if anyone even heard me.
Miracle of miracles, the bil had just arrived with Vaeh.
911, ensuing chaos, dead in the ambulance. Brought back barely. Needles, tubes, something stuck down my throat through my nose, oxygen, more needles, more tubes, then Intensive Care.
Tests after tests. Massive lung infection and not tens but hundreds of ulcers in my stomach and bowels, heart failure.
Full face oxygen mask to force oxygen into my lungs for over ten days. No food, drink, or body movement without help. I can't even describe how terrified I was. Just kept talking to G-d the entire time.
From March 13 to March 26, that was the way it was except for the full oxy mask. After that, it was just the tube, for which I was very grateful. I was allowed liquids, and finally, on the 27th, honest to G-d food. Home on Easter Sunday, but unable to walk much, shaky and wobbly, but now getting therapy from a visiting home nurse.
Saturday, (yesterday,) a beautician cut off most of my hair. It had been pretty long, but they had it in some kind of knot in the hospital and it hadn't been brushed or washed or anything because I couldn't raise my arms high enough or long enough to do it myself. My hair hasn't been this short since I was a baby. But at least it's clean and I can manage it now.
Thanks to the donations so far, I might have enough to maybe get the oxy I need and my doctor has set an appointment for me to see if my hearing, which is almost completely gone from previous injuries, can be surgically restored. If not, then maybe hearing aids which will still be a major miracle.
Bad news is I have been removed from the heart transplant list because I am simply too weak right now for them to even attempt it. Don't know if ever. But certainly going to try to regain as much strength as I can. Time. Everything takes time.
Next bad news is I must pay for my own oxygen which would be next to impossible. Other bad news is I have just been informed via gov form letter that my gov insurance which is part of Damocles Sword, now no longer covers my ulcer medication, my nitroglycerine patches, my blood thinner, and a couple of other things that are essential to my survival.
I am telling you these things because if I am desperate enough to ask for your help, which I am, you deserve to know why. This is literally a fight between life and death for me and I AM asking for your help, although I do understand that these are not the best of times and even without donations, your prayers are still needed.
Today, I am fighting for my very survival and asking for your help which is a desperate last resort that a few short weeks ago I would never have contemplated.
To Springfield Reformer, who started the Fund Me page, my undying gratitude because I would never have thought of doing it myself. Pride goeth before a fall, but this is one fall I promise you, I don't want to take.
To Hardraade, who asked you for prayers for me while I was in the throes of this battle, I can never, ever repay for all he has done.
To those of you who sent prayers, I know they worked because here I am, so thank you all from the bottom of my weak, but still beating heart.
To those who sent donations, I don't even know how to explain the myriad of emotions I have felt because it was so unexpected and so overwhelming.
So there you have it. That's it. That's me. And Free Republic is still the greatest place on earth. Thank you all for everything.
April 26 Update
Not quite sure where to even begin after the tragedies that have affected all of us this month. My prayers go out for our country, so in need of healing, so far beyond my personal problems, it almost seems trite to post about myself when so many others are suffering. However, so many people have asked that I sort of feel guilty for not responding and guilty FOR responding at the same time.
I know it sounds a little goofy, but honestly, I am on so much medication right now, it's a wonder that I make any sense at all...if I do. No guarantees.
Trying to maintain a sense of humor and a modicum of dignity gets harder and harder as the days go by. Don't want to feed my depression so I throw myself into other current events with a vengeance as if there is any way at all I can help, somehow it helps build my stairway to heaven should the worst happen. At least I am on the side of the angels...or so I hope.
So here goes.
My doctors, (and there are a ton of them,) give me no reason to really hope I am going to make it out of this. My hope remains my faith and the fact that when I sleep, I actually wake up for which I am more than grateful. The first words out of my mouth are, "Thank You, G-d." Every single minute is so precious, every breath of air such a gift. Even the pain is a gift because I still feel and I am alive to feel it.
Every day that goes by, I know they are trying their best to find ways to fix me, but it's hard because no one can seem to find the reasons for the problems that keep cropping up.
When this last episode began, I weighed 105 pounds soaking wet. Today, I weigh 73 pounds and can't seem to add even an ounce to that.
Been back to the hospital several times now for various tests. They took marrow from my spine and tell me my blood isn't making enough new blood to sustain me so must have transfusions of whole blood. What they don't know is why.
Back for GI tests. Largest ulcer does not seem to want to heal. Should have surgery but am not strong enough to undergo it. Trying something different but it makes me sick. Nothing is perfect, I guess.
Woke up this morning with my feet on fire, swollen, red, skin splitting and bleeding. bleeding under my skin. Happened out of nowhere.
Nurse called the doc. Doc called in new prescriptions. Wrapped my feet and attached a compressor to my calves and ankles to even out the bloodflow to my feet and legs. Two nurses hovering around me all day long. Both are just great and do everything they can to keep me going. Am grateful to both for their patience and kindness.
Forced oxygen therapy begins Monday.
The good news is my heart seems to be holding up through this. BP is staying just above being too low and isn't jumping wildly like it was before. So that's a plus.
Am deeply grateful for everything you all have done. Please keep the prayers going for everyone and if you see fit to mention my name, that's icing.
I have tried to keep this as unemotional as I could. Don't want to overstep into self-pity. Hope I didn't do that.
Thank you all for your concern.
I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.
THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE.
PLEASE DONATE IF YOU CAN, BUT IF YOU CAN'T,
PRAYERS ARE WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD AND GRATEFULLY APPRECIATED.