[\/\/ayne]

I saw a case where the wife/mother bided her time, eventually there was an incident where the child (12) dramatically held a knife to her own neck when only the father was home as part of an argument. The father knocked the knife from her hand. The child called her mother who called the police. The man got some sort of misdemeanor assault charge.

This was the moment the wife/mother had been waiting for. She filed a restraining order, divorce proceedings, requested full custody and made "the checkmark" that she felt further abuse would occur. Thus the father could only have supervised visitation that he had to pay for.

Knowing both, I told the mother that it was a mistake to knowingly lie and check that box. The daughter would feel horribly guilty and blame the mother as well. When she turned 18 the daughter could do what she wanted and would eschew the mother, spending time with the father. Well, the mother was totally fixated on getting that custody by any means necessary.

That was many years ago. As I predicted, the mother got her custody but not the love of her daughter. They fought constantly for 6 years until the daughter was 18 and moved in with her father, not speaking to her mother again for many years. Only about ten years later did they resume a mother/daughter relationship. It was a Pyrrhic victory.

[Hostage]

> “The father knocked the knife from her hand.”

This is a prime example of an incident that can be taken in more than one way.

Was the father trying to torture his daughter or was he trying to get a dangerous weapon away from her so that she wouldn’t harm herself?

This goes to the crux of the matter in family court cases.

It’s the same as talking to a law enforcement officer without having an attorney present. The LEO can be jotting down a 1000 word report, yet pull 10 words out of context and use those words to throw the suspect in the slammer.