Women will always use their kids as cannon fodder in divorces. Trick is to ask her what she wants and give her all the time she wants with the kids...except full custody....and avoid the courts! Then after the fact do as you will. If she wants to change things SHE has to take it to court!
I was actually able to get custody of the 10 year old when she reached 15, and even represented myself in court. My ex’s attorney was desperately trying to get me to act out in court. The result was that she was threatened with contempt twice.
I was coached my a men’s advocacy paralegal. It worked.
I see the courts, not as a place to get justice, but as a place to play a game. And once you learn the rules of the game, you have a good chance of winning. Looking back, I kinda wish I’d pursued a career as a trial attorney. I felt like I was in my element even at age 49.