I'd bet good money that BOTH of y'all would be eating raw bird!
No chance.
I use the Big Easy Oil-less Turkey Fryer.
Works every time. 10 minutes per lb.
You turn it on - no other setting.
Insert meat thermometer into turkey.
Put your turkey in the Big Easy.
Do nothing else.
Cook until you hit 165 degrees.
Put top on for 5-10 minutes, until golden brown skin.
Take out & let rest for 15 minutes.
Accept accolades as a turkey hero.
Slice and feast.
This is my third turkey. First two were perfect and moist.
Cleans itself in 15 minutes.
Frees up kitchen for my bride to work her magic on the rest.
(Takes about 1/4 propane tank and 3-4 beers.)
We'd have an emergency backup turkey.
You know, like a Joe Biden turkey ... but I repeat myself.