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Using it as stand up comedy is not mockery???

In your opinion it is stand up comedy, in my opinion paraphrasing the scriptures are in many cases stand up comedy.

It just depends on what the meaning is to the individual, some scriptures are so plain that there is not room for much disagreement but they are not all like that.

John 16
5 But I told you not these things from the beginning, because I was with you. And now I go to him that sent me, and none of you asketh me: Whither goest thou?

6 But because I have spoken these things to you, sorrow hath filled your heart. 7 But I tell you the truth: it is expedient to you that I go: for if I go not, the Paraclete will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.

8 And when he is come, he will convince the world of sin, and of justice, and of judgment. 9 of sin: because they believed not in me. 10 And of justice: because I go to the Father; and you shall see me no longer. 11 And of judgment: because the prince of this world is already judged.

Jesus had to go so that his holy spirit could come, as in spiritual kingdom.

In verse 10 Jesus said because I go to the Father; and you shall see me no longer.

John 6:40
And this is the will of my Father that sent me: that every one who seeth the Son, and believeth in him, may have life everlasting, and I will raise him up in the last day.

Acts 3
20 And he shall send Jesus Christ, which before was preached unto you:

21 Whom the heaven must receive until the times of restitution of all things, which God hath spoken by the mouth of all his holy prophets since the world began.

25 For he must reign, until he hath put all his enemies under his feet. 26 And the enemy death shall be destroyed last: For he hath put all things under his feet.

After the last enemy which is death is destroyed, only then can we look for Christ to lift us up.

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

“No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

Jesus is not using these verses in explaining his other predictions but only telling us that the earth and heavens will not remain the same forever.

2 Peter 3:10
But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

Those who believe in Christ have no need to fear as we will be raised up at the last day before this destruction of the earth happens.

Remember that a thousand years is like a day.