Why stop there? “Why I didn’t handle your poisonous snakes and talk in unintelligible languages” would be another good one.
I once attended a Apostolic/Pentecostal Church in Colorado Springs in the 1970s. At the time, it was very popular and well-known there.
Many, many regulars spoke in tongues or prophesied. After about a month, the religious education director said to me:
“Alas, I see your not speaking in tongues or prophesizing during worship... What’s wrong?”
I replied, “Well, you know I almost did once but it seemed I would be faking it. It just didn’t feel real...”
He replied, “Go ahead and just fake it, then. The Holy Spirit will start speaking thru you after a while.”
Well, I was shocked, actually, to get that response.
I also noted that because this guy had brought so many of us young GIs into this church, from various bases around: Cheyenne Mountain (me), Peterson AFB, the Air Force Academy, Ent AFB and Fort Carson, he was given a new Cadillac from the pastor, as a reward for bringing in almost 200 of us.
Anyway, the whole setup disturbed me, so I stop attending.
One of the guys who lived in my barracks still was going, and he told me later that the same RE at this place had him give an allotment from his paycheck, because, dig this, he ate at the chow hall free, so he didn’t need food, and he lived in the barracks, so he didn’t need to pay rent, so he could give most of his pay to the Lord!
I think he was asking all the young single military men to do so. Cadillacs are NOT cheap.