I think the key is to imagine the door to heaven with a big sign overhead that says "Whosoever will" and once inside the other side of the sign reads "Chosen in Him before the Foundation of the World".
I think the meaning of chosen is not that God picks some to save and not others based on some inexplicable criteria, or just His whim.
I think what it is, is that God chose to save those whom He foreknew would accept the gift of salvation were it offered to them, as opposed to letting them go to hell for their sins as they deserved.
I don’t know if that gets across the distinction that I am trying to make, but there’s a difference.