I thought you were a baptized Catholic. A lot of the protestors here are baptized Catholics that left the practice of their Catholic faith. I am not trying to judge anyone, but it apparent that many are following society norms and living in mortal sin (adultery - second and third marriages, etc). It appears that some continue to live in sin and accept some of the protestant doctrines that run counter to the teachings of Jesus. I feel that we deceive ourselves and believe that we are not sinners.
It is a shame that you see the Catholic church as frightening you as opposed to the road to salvation.
Apparently you now see the difference between mortal and venial sin. My concern is for those that left the Catholic Church and the teachings of Jesus. I also hope that others will find the Truth of Jesus in His Catholic Church. There are certainly issues and problems within the Catholic Church, but the teachings are from Jesus. The path to salvation is through the Catholic Church.
I encourage you study the Catholic faith and accept the Truth. The Catholics I know do not live in fear, they rejoice in the Lord and the Sacraments.