Replies

Why can’t the adulterous spouse remarry? The marriage is legitimately ended. How is this enforced? Is a record kept somewhere that all preachers must check before marrying couples in non-Catholic ceremonies?

What if one spouse lies about the other? What if the cheating spouse denies the affair? Who investigates to determine the truth? What if one spouse is abusive? There is no biblical provision for ending an abusive marriage unless one spouse is adulterous.

Perhaps you are right and the Catholic Church should have a provision which specifically addresses adultery without regard to valid vows, but that is a doctrinal issue beyond my control. Despite false claims there is not and likely never will be “Catholic divorce”, so these cases would still be processed as annulments. The point is that even if that were considered a “special case”, there would still have to be an investigation into the accusations and that still would take time and resources.

A typical annulment will take about a year, less if everyone cooperates and the grounds are clear, longer if not. The sooner it is started the sooner it ends.

The financial circumstances of the family don’t and shouldn’t affect the investigation into whether or not the marriage is valid. (Other than a waiver of the fee, which is usual) There are other Church resources to help through one’s own parish, but this is one issue where civil authorities have more power and should be used for help with child support, etc.

Are you saying that the only way for a family to survive is through remarriage? Within a year? If there is already a potential new spouse would they not be willing to help before the wedding? What effect would an ‘instant’ annulment have in the immediate aftermath of a separation? You still have to wait for a civil divorce. You still have to find a new spouse.

I believe much of the problem comes from people not realizing that they need the annulment and from the false rumors about how difficult and expensive it is which causes people to avoid the process. Catholics should begin the annulment process when they begin the divorce process. It wont be accepted until the divorce is final, but the paperwork can be made ready.

Waiting until you are planning your next wedding is a bad idea if you want to be married Catholic. Partly this is the fault of the Church for not reaching out to divorced Catholics earlier, but poor Catholic education and poor planning by the new couple are also issues. A year delay after wedding plans are started is considered unacceptable, and many Catholics will give in to the temptation to marry outside of the Church, leading to the whole problem of divorced/remarried Catholics out of communion.

The point is that the Catholic process is what it is, you or I cannot change that. If you want a Catholic marriage you have to play by Catholic rules. Anyone who needs an annulment should seek one. It is not as bad as it is made out to be, and it is worth it in the end. Many out of communion can return, and if an annulment is not granted, at least you know where you stand. (And yes you are still welcome in the church despite not taking communion).

I’m not an expert on annulment, but I do have some experience, so if there are particular questions best not addressed here, feel free to private reply and I’ll try to point you in the right direction.

Love,
O2

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