I am confused about God too, in so far as, I don’t know why He loved us and sent Jesus to die for us, knowing that we don’t deserve the time of day, but I am glad He did.
I cannot imagine how the God Who Created the Universe could care about man. I cannot understand how God can love sinners. At the same time, I don’t think I have a clue about how much He hates sin.
It seems I’m not the first who doesn’t understand:
“When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;
What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?” - Psalm 8
Of course, a God I COULD understand would be a mighty puny god...