The old canard that amounts to a woman has no moral agency, she not responsible for her thoughts and feelings. Oh how sad it is to a victim of all those events out of your control. See how very different men and women are in your world, men go to work when they don't feel like it, they defend their homes and homeland when it is hard, they are responsible to love their wives when she makes it difficult. But poor helpless princesses cannot keep their marriage vows unless all of life's circumstances are just to their liking. It sure seems as though sex has become the little princess's bargaining chip. But that would make her not in submission, a defrauder, and perhaps a prostitute who trades sex for some currency (in your example the currency is the satisfaction of feeeeeelings).
Men like sex any old way and any old time and any old how. Women think it’s a chore, unless they feel loved. So, you go to work even when you wish you could go fishing. Is sex supposed to be work? Or is it supposed to be fishing?